throwing up in an IKEA bag

new digs

2010-02-18T19:59:00.003-06:00

My first week at my new job was great. The best thing about it is that it's at the same company...so I get to keep the same great benefits and work with the same great people (for the most part anyway).

It's so nice to go to a job I like again. It's nice to be a part of a team, to be valued, to be trusted. To not have someone question every answer you give them, even though there was no reason whatsoever for it. It's nice to work for someone who gives a damn about his business, who really and truly cares about his clients instead of only caring about the money.

Plus, I love the work. I'm learning so much about the market, which is what I wanted in the first place. I'm getting to do so much more than I would have had I left - I get to know the whys behind making moves instead of just the doing of it. I'm gaining valuable experience, making more money, and I still get Fridays off. I really lucked out.

Anyway, that's where I've been all week. Not being bored at work - that's a novel idea. Not watching the clock and sighing when it says 9:30 but feels like 5. A girl can get used to this.

yep, when it rains, it pours

2010-02-09T09:55:00.003-06:00

I really appreciate our car mechanics at Bayless Tire & Auto. They're the best. They're very knowledgeable, and they get the work done quickly. And they're close to our house, so we can easily walk there to drop off/pick up the car.

However, I would prefer they didn't know us on a first name basis. Perhaps it's time for a new car when this happens.

I would also love it if the above-mentioned ~~piece of crap~~ wonderful, sexy, beast of a car wouldn't die in my company's garage. The one that only allows access in and out (yes, from the inside) with an access card. That way I wouldn't have to stand there in the freezing-ass cold and wait for the tow guy to load up my car so I can kindly let him out. I'm all for safety and all, but it's not like we work in north city.

Boy wouldn't it have been nice too if I'd called our auto agent and asked to add the tow coverage on before it needed to be towed 3 times in the past two years. Yep, that would have been great. Perhaps now is a good time to heed this lesson and get it added. That is if it's not in fact time to rid ourselves of the ~~piece of crap~~ wonderful, sexy, beast of a car.

sheesh

2010-02-08T14:34:00.001-06:00

I love it when everyone freaks out about the weather. This morning when we woke up there was MAYBE ½ inch of snow – really light and fluffy snow too, the kind that doesn’t even need to be scraped off the car. Just a quick swipe with the wipers is all it takes. Funny enough though, the news was telling everyone to stay home if at all possible. The roads were treacherous, there were accidents everywhere, and there was a threat of more snow this afternoon (which has yet to materialize at 2:30 PM).

Add in the fact that last time they predicted 5 inches of snow we got maybe ¼ inch, and none stuck to the roads as it was like 37 degrees all day. Hmmm.

I’m all for erring on the side of safety, even though I’m not one to do it. But seriously? Staying home with ½ inch of snow? That’s a bit much. The roads weren’t even slick. I usually defend my lovely state of Misery from those who call us wimps when we cancel schools after 3 inches of snow. I’m also all in favor of taking much needed snow days, even if they’re unnecessary. But really.

Then again, if you’re dumb enough to believe what you hear on the network news channels, then perhaps you should stay off the roads.

you need a new hat

2010-02-03T13:32:00.001-06:00

My good friend started his very own Etsy shop. He crochets, and is great at it. He is currently selling hats, scarves, and soon will be selling mary jane style slippers. He will be offering already-made merchandise and also taking special orders. He’s made my Bee a hat, and also an awesome pair of hi-top slippers complete with non-skid bottoms. They’re beautiful. I’ve also seen blankets that he’s made, and they’re gorgeous. I’m sure he could be convinced to make anything you can dream up – for a price of course. No really though everything is quite reasonable. Check it out!

On a non-related note, I’m pretty sure I heard one of the worst sounds ever today – a kid screaming in the room next to me at the dentist. Being at the dentist’s office is bad enough – do I really need to hear a kid in pain? It was horrible. And soon to be followed up by the sound of the dentist sawing the heck out of my custom-fit bite guard (apparently I grind my teeth at night and had no idea – so bad in fact that they’re practically worn down to mere nubs – like maybe a year from being rid of enamel altogether, nice). Not a nice sound. But my dentist is kind of attractive, so going there isn’t the worst thing in the world.

On a kind of funny note, my dentist practices with his brother and father in a practice started by his grandfather. His father’s name is Christopher Wolken. I can’t help but think of the infamous Christopher Walken whenever I happen to spy his business card at the check-out desk. More Cowbell!

the avatar debate

2010-02-01T11:34:00.001-06:00

So I took my ‘little bro’ to see Avatar yesterday. I really didn’t know much about the movie except that it was in 3D, which I didn’t really care about. I was actually worried it would get old, or that wearing those glasses for 2 ½ hours would give me a headache.

I ended up really enjoying the movie. We both did. The 3D was really cool, and though the glasses were annoying, they weren’t that bad. It was really beautiful, actually. The colors were amazing, and I thought a lot of creativity was used in the creating of the native people and how they interact with nature. They way they ‘plugged’ into the animals for instance was really cool.

The story wasn’t great, but it wasn’t so horrible as to throw me out of the experience. Then again, I didn’t expect much either. Big budget, 3D movie – no surprise there that the story was somewhat secondary and not really the focus. It was predictable and cheesy, and the characters were very stereotypical with dull dialogue. So what. It was more than watchable, and again, I didn’t expect much, so whatever.

I think it’s funny how up-in-arms people are getting about how cheated they felt by the story. Seriously? I just can’t imagine going into this thinking it would be Oscar-quality acting and writing (not that I think the Oscars are the be-all/end-all when it comes to movies anymore). It was made to be visually beautiful, which it was. And the main character (Sam Worthington? Never heard of him) was not too hard on the eyes either. Yum.

When I go to the movies I want to be entertained. Sometimes that means witty dialogue and great acting, sometimes it means rip-roaringly funny, and sometimes it’s a beautiful setting. It doesn’t have to be all three, or perfect in any way. If a movie can entertain me for 2+hours without needing to look at the clock, then I consider that a success. I really enjoyed the movie, and couldn’t believe it when it ended 2 ½ hours later. It seemed like maybe a ½ hour. So I say it’s a success.

Go and see it, you’ll enjoy it. Just don’t go into it thinking it’s going to be some masterpiece, and just ignore the meathead characters and cliché dialogue. It’s not hard when you’re distracted by the 3D and scenery anyway. Enjoy it for what it is and no more.

top ten art accidents

2010-01-28T10:21:00.003-06:00

This is a great article. Here's an excerpt:

On Jan. 22, 2010, a New York Metropolitan Museum of Art visitor accidentally fell into The Actor, a 105-year-old painting by Pablo Picasso, ripping the canvas.

Wow. I've done a lot of stupid stuff, for sure, but this is incredible. Although had I done this I would have probably peed myself out of sheer horror and embarrassment, only magnifying the horribleness of the situation. I've dropped a thing or two in my time, no big deal. But wow. The thought of this happening to me boggles the mind.

why didn't I know about this earlier???

2010-01-27T09:02:00.003-06:00

I just became aware of restaurant.com. Wow. You can get gift certificates for restaurants at way discounted prices. And there are a ton of restaurants on the list.

We really like a local brewpub, Mattingly's, and go there as often as possible. Good, cheap food, and great beer. On this site I can get a $25 gift certificate for $10, and if I enter the code BONUS on the checkout page, I can get it for $2. That's $25 worth of food for $2. Crazy.

So now I can stuff my face and drink a boatload of awesome, freshly-brewed beer for the low price of $2. Does life get any better? I think not.

oh puhleeeze

2010-01-26T12:48:00.001-06:00

Dear Universe:

Please help me find a new job. You have to. I’m going to go crazy here. Scratch that, I’m already there. I’m going to get crazier and crazier until my head starts spinning like the girl from The Exorcist and then blows up.

The dream job I submitted my resume for last week is still open. It sure would be great if you could maybe blow a gust of wind (indoors? somehow?) and magically make my resume land on top. Or if you could send some subliminal messages. Whatever, I’m not picky. Just make it happen? I’d be forever in your debt.

What will it take? I’ll do anything. I’ll get on my knees and beg, I’m fine with that. Whatever. Anything. I’ll do it.

~~Sincerely~~,
~~With love~~,
~~Faithfully yours~~,
In your debt,

Norma Jean

Seriously, looking for a new job is hard. Thankfully I still have a job. I can’t imagine doing this after being laid-off like so many right now, how horrible. Unfortunately the working conditions at my current job are bad, but at least I’m still getting paid. I’m kicking myself for letting a position go back in December – well I didn’t let it go, I just didn’t get it because I was stupid and emphasized wanting to find a job with growth potential. Right now that’s the last thing on my mind. Live and learn, right?

Why can’t I be one of those people who has opportunities fall right into my lap?

life without Chay

2010-01-20T14:21:00.001-06:00

So far life without Chay has been just that…life – without Chay. It’s weird. I feel quite a bit of relief, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t really even know it was there until it was gone. No more worrying about her leg breaking, about getting her meds, about whether or not we were keeping her alive too long. That’s a lot to have on your plate.

I keep seeing things that remind me of her. Last night I washed her towels, the one we put under her bowls and the one we used to wipe her feet. Those were her towels. They looked so wrong sitting in the closet. She’ll never use those towels again, we’ll never again wipe her feet. I put her kong in the dishwasher this morning. Her pills are still in the cabinet, because we don’t really know what to do with them, and throwing them away doesn’t seem right. This morning I began to turn my head towards her room to say good-bye to her, but stopped myself. She’s not there.

I got my new checks in the mail yesterday. I’d been ordering greyhound rescue checks for a while now, but decided to go with the standard issue bank checks this time, thinking I’d save a little money. I should have gotten the greyhound ones. I ordered them before she died. They weren’t even that much cheaper. That sucks.

The other day after we came home from grocery shopping Bee went into Chay’s room (well her room now), stood by the bed, and said ‘Chay-chay?’ She’d moved on to something else before we could even respond, but that hurt. Bee won’t even remember her.

I sat down at the computer to put together a little tribute for her on Facebook, and was overwhelmed when looking through all the pictures we have of her. I’d forgotten how she was, what the cancer took away. She was so fun-loving and silly, always lying in funny ways, always ready to run or pounce. She lived for walks, and her ears would perk up at even the slightest sound resembling her collar/leash. We couldn’t even take plastic bags out without her wanting a walk. She used to come in for pets at least once an hour, and loved snuggling on the couch or our bed. She hadn’t done those things in so long. She wasn’t herself, and it happened so slowly that we didn’t even realize it.

I’m eternally thankful that we decided to be with her until she died. We held her as she took her last breath. We watched her head jerk around at every sound because the sedatives have a hallucinatory effect. We were there as she went from a nervous, panicky dog (how she always was at the vet) to being calm and pain-free. I knew the exact moment that she died. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I guess eventually I’ll stop thinking about her as much. It’s okay now. I like the constant reminders. They’re not a wet nose poking me for pets, but it’s something.

Chayla, AKA ‘SV Mamas Fool’ – September 15, 1998 – January 17, 2010

2010-01-19T09:08:00.000-06:00

We said good-bye to our first baby girl, Chayla, on Sunday. It was incredibly hard, but also somewhat of a relief – she was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a very aggressive cancer, just before Thanksgiving. The tumor on her shoulder had grown to about the size of a tennis ball. She was in pain, but Sunday was the first time we looked into her eyes and they were sad. It was time.

We took her for a short walk, her favorite thing, but also something she hadn’t done in a month at least. Then she went on a car ride, which was probably her second favorite thing. She got a great dinner the night before and a great breakfast, and plenty of treats. She was so excited to go for her walk, more excited than she’d been in a while. It was a good last day.

We were able to sit with her and hold her the entire time. I wouldn’t have it any other way. She slipped away peacefully, and I am grateful for that. Life won’t be the same without her and already our small house seems very empty.

It was only after looking at pictures we’d taken over time that I realized how much the cancer had changed her in only a few short months. She was so happy, so full of life. Nothing got her down. Stubborn as the day is long, but sweet and loving too. It seems like forever ago that we saw her do this:

This was her playful pounce. This is the picture posted on the rescue group’s site, the picture that made us fall in love with her.

She went with us to the cabin every year at least once. I’ve never been to the cabin without her; it won’t be the same. We’re going to bury her two collars – one at home, one at the cabin. We’ll be burying her Mizzou collar there – a little humor, as the cabin is in Arkansas. This is Chay on the boat. She loved the boat, loved having the wind in her face.

Chay was such a comfort to me during my time on bedrest. She would snuggle with me on the couch. We would share a blanket. Occasionally she’d get very comfortable:

I loved that she was there with me, making me laugh. She was so good at that.

This is a picture of Chay and her best friend, Hank. Hank belongs to our best friends who live in Columbia (though he might argue that they belong to him). They tolerated one another for a while, until the night we left them alone and they managed to tear through a whole bag of pigs ears. From that night on they were best friends. Chay was getting on in years, and though she was robbed of a lot of good life, she was a lazy girl. But Hank brought out the puppy in her. They were so darn cute together.

I could go on and on forever about Chay. She was our first baby, our best girl, for 6 ½ years. We knew she was ours the minute we visited her at her foster home. We just clicked. Chay had been in and out of homes for a few years, never fitting in. But the three of us were perfect together. Everyone loved Chay, she was so special. She had a way of digging into your heart and staying there.

It will be a while before we get another dog, though I know someday we will. I don’t know that I can face the thought of losing another to this horrible cancer, which is very common in greyhounds (and I would only ever get another hound). Maybe when Bee is a little older. Maybe when we’ve got a bit more disposable income.

Good-bye, sweet girl. I know now you’re running freely, eating all the cheese that you want, living it up. We will meet again.

good start to the day

2009-04-30T11:54:00.001-05:00

You know what's awesome? Having baby girl wake up next to me by saying 'da', very softly, instead of screaming her lungs out (teething, anyone?).

of course.

2009-04-22T16:03:00.001-05:00

Update – I recently found out the toilets are working just fine here, I even heard it for myself. Just not for me. WTF? There must be some reason auto toilets don’t recognize me. Maybe the beauty of my ass stuns it. Ha.

rustle me up a rocking chair

2009-04-22T12:18:00.000-05:00

So on Monday we moved into a brand new, so-called ‘state-of-the-art’ building. It’s nice, no doubt about that. Much nicer than our last building. And the location is much better. Better restaurants, bars (for happy hour of course), parks, etc. It is closer to my house, but not if I factor in dropping off and picking up the monkey girl. It’s about the same with that added in.

I do have a couple of gripes. We need a passcard/code to go anywhere (we have 2 floors of the building and a garage). It works maybe 50% of the time, the rest of the time you’ve got to get creative and find a new way (walking around to the entrance of the garage) or wait for someone to chance by and open the door to let you in. Fun. You need it for the elevator too. I’ve stuck to the stairs. I can’t deal with an elevator that won’t open.

The other 50% of the time it beeps, and acts like it’s working, yet doesn’t open. It’s great. You stand there like a total moron, swiping your card again and again.

The toilets in the bathroom automatically flush. They worked great on Monday and Tuesday, then today seem to have gone haywire. There are three stalls. In one, it will flush while you’re going, then not afterwards. One doesn’t flush at all, you have to manually push the button. I haven’t tried the other one, but probably should, for accuracy of reporting. Frankly, I’m a little frightened. It’s the handicapped stall, so it might suck me in.

Is it just me? Am I getting old? I can’t help but be distrustful of all these electronic gadgets. Even our phones run on a computer program. I haven’t learned that yet (because I missed the *gasp* 2 hour training…that’s another drama-filled tale in and of itself), not because it’s hard, but because no one has given me the code to log in. Ugh.

I think automatically flushing toilets are the worst offenders. How hard can it be? There are all sorts of motion detectors out there. Make it work. I swear, it’s gotten so bad that when I have a good experience with one (god forbid, it flushes, and at the correct time) I’m surprised. Normally it just doesn’t flush. Then I have to lean down and press the button to flush it which really negates the benefit of the auto flush altogether. A few weeks back we had a conference at the Ameristar Casino (gross) and though I chose a different stall each time, the damn things never flushed. Which is odd, since all I heard around me was flushing. I had such a complex…am I that pale that it doesn’t even register me? Do I move too slowly? Too quickly? WTF?

Then when they flush while you’re sitting (or squatting or whatever you do) you inevitably get splashed in the ass. With pee-pee or poo-poo water. Nice. Nothing better.

I’m all for technological advancement, when necessary. But for the love, make it work. Quit installing shit-for-brains, work-50%-of-the-time, splash-you-in-the-ass toilets. I’d so much rather have ones you flush yourself.

please send positive thoughts

2009-04-14T09:15:00.002-05:00

For anyone out there reading this (hello?), please pray, or send good thoughts, or whatever you do for a couple I know. They delivered their twin girls at 21 weeks last night. One was born alive and lived for a few minutes, we aren't sure about the other one, but think she was born still. This couple has struggled with miscarriages, so to have this happen on top of everything else is truly devastating.

Please hold them in your hearts. After my scare at 20 weeks, and coming through, this hits so close to home. I've imagined it so many times in my head...to actually have it come true for friends is so, so unbelievable. They will need every bit of their own strength and ours too to get through this.

huh...

2009-04-06T07:48:00.000-05:00

So turns out it helps to actually go online and pay bills as opposed to just writing them down in your checkbook. Interesting.

It also helps when it's not Monday morning after getting about 2 hours of sleep total.

March 16, 2008

2009-03-16T08:45:00.000-05:00

Our lives were turned upside-down one year ago today. I was 19 1/2 weeks pregnant. Hubby was brewing a batch of coffee stout in the kitchen before dinner, and I decided to take a bubble bath. Upon getting out of the bath I noticed a strange, watery discharge. I wrote it off until it happened again in the bedroom, going completely through my underwear. Gross, and definitely unusual. I called my OB and his office said to go to labor & delivery because it was Sunday and there was no way to tell what was going on over the phone.

We went, expecting to get checked out, maybe an ultrasound (we'd only had one at 9 weeks and only I got to see it), then be sent on our merry way. We were grossly unprepared.

L&D determined that the discharge was amniotic fluid, thus concluding that my bag of waters had broken. pPROM - preterm, premature rupture of membranes. I was confused. Isn't that usually a big gush? Not a few drops. It could be a small break, though. Either way, not good. I was hooked up to a contraction monitor and it detected activity. Contractions. Seemingly alarming ones. I noticed them, but they weren't awful.

The resident told us we'd probably have the baby that night. When water breaks and contractions are happening, it's definitely not good. She prepared us that when a baby is born at this point it won't live. It might take a breath or two, but that's it. She even had an NICU doctor come and talk to us.

They gave us a moment alone. We cried. I don't think the gravity of the situation had even hit me yet at that point. How can a baby be born at 20 weeks? Actually, I think technically anything before 20 weeks is still considered a miscarriage, even if the babe actually takes a few breaths when born. It was incredibly surreal. I don't think I could get past the fact that the baby was completely fine. It was my body failing. Everything was totally fine other than the contractions (which didn't hurt, but were registering on the machine) and the presence of amniotic fluid on my cervix.

We didn't know the gender, but we talked about what we would name the baby. We decided on Lee, which was my maiden name, because it would work for a boy or a girl. We were so innocent. We didn't know anyone who had lost a baby due to premature labor. We barely even knew what that was.

It was a long night. The contractions lasted all night long, some worse than others. I was pumped full of IV fluid as well as water, and didn't sleep well 1. because my body was failing my baby and was going to kill it even though as of now it was perfectly fine and 2. I had to pee every ten minutes. My parents came for a while, then we sent them home.

We had a great nurse. I remember her name to this day. She had a 'good feeling' about us. She'd seen many moms whose water had broken go on to deliver perfectly healthy babies. She pumped me full of water, and made me more comfortable. It meant a lot.

In the morning things were the same, only my contractions had all but stopped. My doc came by, and of course, gave us a grim outlook. A maternal fetal medicine doc came by too and did the same. We had a 10% chance of carrying the baby to term. If we could make it past a week without an infection (commonly happens with broken water) things would look better, but for now it was bad. It was so hard. The baby was totally fine. My contractions had stopped, and there wasn't any more leaking. But still doctor after doctor warned us not to get too comfortable, that our baby would most likely be born and die.

Another resident came in and told us if it were him in this situation he'd choose to end the pregnancy. Of course we couldn't do that at St. John's, but another hospital would do it. The baby, if it made it to viability, would most likely have lung problems, and problems with its legs and arms, just to start. With little fluid there isn't much room to move and grow properly. We were devastated, but ultimately decided of course we couldn't do that. I think he upset us the most. Looking back I'm a bit miffed he came in there and did that to us. We never even had an abnormal amount of fluid.

We had a few visitors. My poor sister, who was 18 weeks pregnant at the time, came by. I felt so bad for her - at that point we both gave up our happy, normal pregnancies, me for obvious reasons, her because all innocence was lost. She knew what could happen, and I'm sure worried about it for a while. She couldn't even speak. She could only hug me with tears running down her face.

We had another ultrasound before being moved to the antepartum floor. It was great again, normal amounts of fluid, babe was fine. We had so many people come by and prepare us. We were told that best case scenario, if we made it past a week, we'd be sent home and I would be on bedrest. Then at 24 weeks, when baby was viable (but still extremely critical), I'd come back to the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy so they could monitor things and give me steroids to help develop the baby's lungs if labor seemed imminent. So many different nurses came by. They helped prepare me for the later hospital stay.

We had to call work, which was hard for me. I had to prepare my bosses that I'd most likely not be back until after the baby was born. They were so great and understanding - I work for a couple of really good guys. I called my close friends too. My best friend in Chicago was so great. She sent me so many care packages while I was home on bedrest, and brought her daughter over to visit. I'm a lucky girl.

We stayed for 4 days, and our scan on the last day was just as good. Baby was totally normal, fluid looked great. Our high-risk specialist was pleased, but still very cautious. We were to go home, take my temperature every few hours, and watch for signs of infection. I was put on moderate bed rest, which ended up being couch rest really. I could get up to shower, make my lunch, and use the bathroom, but other than that I was to take it easy. Luckily I'm very good at being lazy. I offered to work from home, but my bosses wouldn't hear of it. I'm so grateful for disability insurance - if you don't have it, get it. It's so important. I don't know how we would have coped without it.

Those first few weeks were scary. I had a tiny temperature (totally normal fluctuation, but still) a few times and freaked out, of course. A few times I thought that was it, I was at the end. But we kept on trucking. I did so much research on the internet, and found out that vitamins C and E can help strengthen the bag of waters, so I started taking those (after talking to my doc of course). We had an ultrasound every week for a month to make sure the fluid was okay, and every time it was. I think my docs would have released me from bedrest except for a bout of contractions again around 22-23 weeks. I was put on some meds to control them, but really, they lasted the entire pregnancy. I think I spent the last half of my pregnancy timing contractions.

Our families and friends were so wonderful. My mom and dad came once a week to clean, do laundry, and have lunch with me. My sisters came by to visit, and hubby was awesome. He cooked, took care of me and the hound, and never complained once.

I was on moderate bedrest for 3 months. I remember my older sister asking me my goals for the pregnancy. How long would I like her to stay inside? I said 28 weeks. If we made it that far I'd be happy. 28 weeks came and went. Then 32, then 34, and so on. At 34 weeks I was allowed to go back to work part-time, which was nice, if only to take my mind off of things.

She ended up entering the world at just over 39 weeks (after weeks of pre-labor, I swear). Quickly. My water broke for real at 2:30, and she was born at 8:01. The Beezer isn't one to do anything slowly, we've since found out.

It's surreal to look at my gorgeous baby girl and remember what happened. Almost as though it happened in another life. Sometimes I think about that dumb resident who advised us to terminate. What if we had listened to him? I think our doctor would have talked us out of it, especially in light of the fact that she never had low levels of fluid, but still. It's horrifying to think about.

I've read so many stories without our great ending. Babies born too soon, lives changed forever. I honestly can't imagine anything worse, except for losing a baby at term. Now that I know what can happen, and what does happen, it makes everything so much more real. I really had no idea back then, and it's probably best that I didn't. We are so lucky. I know that every time I see her amazing face. I'm so glad my sister didn't have to deal with it too, if I had lost Beezer. How different our lives would be today if she had a healthy baby girl and we didn't. Oh my gosh, it's devastating to think about. I can't think about it too much.

It's funny though. Despite the life-altering glitch, I loved being pregnant. I actually loved sitting my big butt on the couch all day. Maybe it was easier because I knew I was doing it for someone else, not me. Probably not. I'm lazy. And proud of it. Well not so much anymore, babies cure you of that real fast.

the train to japan

2009-03-12T13:04:00.002-05:00

So we have this client. He's 75, and his wife died in 2006. Since then he's had numerous problems...among them a stroke which left him without much use of his arms. He can use them, just not like before.

He has a small life insurance policy. He's had it for a while, since '98, so it's been building cash value since then. Long story short, he took out a loan after his wife died to help pay for the funeral (he's never had a lot of money, but enough to get by). With the market being like it is, and with the loan interest that's been piling up, the policy is on the brink of collapsing (not enough cash to cover the loan interest).

We helped him last year to fix it a little, but this was before the market turned to shit. So now I'm in the process of helping him fix it a little more. Basically his kids want the policy to be kept alive so they can have the death benefit when he dies. Now I don't know the full situation, but I do know they're helping him pay for it a little, so it's not as bad as it sounds. It's not as if he's throwing money that's needed elsewhere (to help him eat, for example) to keep this alive just for his kids. I think it's more of an issue of it being sucky that he's had it for so long and put so much into it that to let it collapse would be a shame. A couple thousand is worth the amount of the death benefit.

Normally this would be a pain in the ass. He's a small client, and he doesn't really get what's going on. And this is time consuming. But he is the sweetest, kindest, most soft-spoken man in the world. Every time we speak the TV is on in the background - usually an old movie of some sort (he must be going deaf too, it's loud). I imagine him sitting in a dim, wood-paneled room. He's in an old, ratty, beat-up recliner, maybe with a TV tray set up next to it to hold a drink or the remote. I imagine he sits there all day watching TV, occasionally getting up to get some food or use the restroom. It literally breaks my heart.

I want to be able to reach through the phone and give him a hug. I want to go over there at least once a week and help him with his bills, cook for him, or just keep him company. Unfortunately he lives 3 1/2 hours away. For all I know his kids do this for him.

Maybe it's the fact that I really only knew one grandfather, and he's been gone for five or six years now. I used to go to his nursing home once a week and eat dinner with him. He would tell me stories about how he took the train to Japan. I loved indulging him. He was a hard man, but so very sweet in his old age.

Maybe it's this strange affinity I have towards the elderly. I love them. I've always had a good time with them. I volunteered in a nursing home a couple of times, and really enjoyed going room to room and listening to their stories. I contemplated taking my hound to the home where my grandpa lived to visit; greyhounds are really good for this, they like nothing more than standing there and getting pet. His nursing home is Catholic, run by nuns. It opens its doors for anyone who needs it, whether they can pay or not. I like that. Of course now I don't have the time. Or maybe that's just an excuse. Maybe I should take the Beezer with me, they'd probably get a real kick out of that.

Maybe it's the disdain I see for the elderly in today's society. No one values them. They're put in nursing homes, forgotten. Treated like children. The elderly used to be respected; we looked to them for advice, learned from the mistakes they made. Not anymore. It's disgusting. Of course people today are rude towards everyone, not just seniors.

This post ended up somewhere I didn't expect. I miss my grandpa and his silly stories. I wish I could do more to help our client. I want to volunteer in a nursing home. I hope I can make that happen.

wtf?

2009-03-09T08:57:00.002-05:00

I am missing a pair of pants. That's all I can say - what the eff? I don't lose clothes. I am meticulous when it comes to my clothes. I know where every item is, and everything has its place. Did I mention I'm a bit OCD? Apparently it runs in the family.

The pants in question is a really cute pair I got last year on super clearance at the Limited. I'm always proud of my super clearance clothes (especially there since there's always a $15 off coupon), even though I get everything on sale. I refuse to pay full price. I truly 100% believe they don't expect you to pay full price. It's so inflated.

Anyway they're cute, and I miss them. They're brown chinos. Super thin, super comfortable, look good with dressy shoes or with tennies (who am I kidding, I don't wear dressy shoes outside of work). I've looked everywhere. They're not with my work clothes, with my casual clothes, or in any of my drawers. I even looked on the floors of my closets (because even though I'm super anal about the racks, the floors are fair game for any type of crap that needs hidden quickly). No luck.

I'm mystified. Where the eff are they? Did I mention that I do not lose clothes? I don't share clothes either, mostly because none of my close friends are my size. Otherwise I'd be all about sharing clothes. I did, however, lend my maternity clothes to a friend recently. I wonder if I accidentally packed them in there. I should check with her.

This is driving me crazy.

spring is almost here

2009-03-05T14:36:00.002-06:00

I am so excited for my day off tomorrow (I thankfully don't work on Fridays). I'm usually excited because I get to spend the whole day with my monkey girl, but I'm extra excited for tomorrow because it's going to be in the 70s. So even though monkey girl has a doctor's appointment, we can walk because it's warm and close. I love walks (and need them desperately - go away belly pooch!), and so does the monkey. She's a nosy girl, just like her mama.

Last year I missed almost every bit of spring because of couch rest with the monkey. I could go outside on occasion, and did have the windows open as much as possible, but it wasn't the same. I love spring and fall. If the weather could be between 65 & 75 every day of the year, I would be such a happy girl. So because I missed it last year and the monkey wasn't really able to enjoy it in the fall, we're going to get out as much as possible.

We're going to go to the zoo, the botanical garden, to the many parks around our house. We'll go everywhere. The hound loves it too, so we're all set. We have a new umbrella stroller that's way less bulky than the stroller that came with our carseat. We'll have it worn out by next winter.

Did I mention I'm excited? Cause I am. Bring it on, spring.

top 2 reasons I won't punt my pump off a cliff

2009-02-19T12:52:00.002-06:00

My love affair with lists continues. This one is short.

It forces me to be in a good mood. If I don't eat enough, get enough sleep, or am stressed or in a bad mood, I don't pump enough for my babe the next day. Sounds stupid. It is stupid. Why doesn't anyone tell you how sensitive the milk ducts are? Getting myself into a good mood can be hard, especially in the morning. But I hum a happy song and think positive thoughts and usually I can turn myself around. Believe me, when at work, me in a happy mood is rare. Today I was humming a Bon Jovi tune (no idea where it came from) and somehow it turned into the old Wehrenberg Theaters song...da da da da da da da da dadada, da da da da da da da da dadada...remember the whispers at the end? Wehrenberg...Wehrenberg - the whole theater whispered and it was oddly loud. Good times. Now they just ask you nicely to turn off your phone and whatnot. Thanks, technological advances.
It's expensive. I don't want to shell out the dough for a new one. This one was a no-brainer.

Okay, that's it. As much as I love being able to give my babe the best start to life by providing her the most natural sustenance of all, I hate pumping. It sucks. Pun intended. I cannot wait until the day I can pack that sucker up for good.

why oh why

2009-02-12T10:44:00.002-06:00

I can't decide if I should curse the bush that stopped a car on fire from rolling into the parking garage at work today because it didn't affect our building at all (and therefore we have to stay at work today) or celebrate it because it didn't affect our building at all. I really could use an early weekend. But my cube is directly two floors above where it would have rolled so I probably should be glad.

Seriously though, a small bush is the only thing that stopped this car from catching our building on fire. That's kind of effed up.

the starbucks saga continues...

2009-02-05T11:13:00.002-06:00

So I stopped by Starbucks today for the usual. A different Starbucks. One with a drive thru (oh, how lovely). Before I can order, I'm asked if I want to purchase one of their signature cupcakes. Kind of odd at 7:15 am, but whatever. I notice that the voice that asked me about the cupcake isn't the voice that answered when I said no...is it a recording? Huh.

I pull up to the window to pay (a dollar and the rest in quarters - today is payday AND I'm so trash but hey at least I didn't have to put it on my card) and a normal looking girl is at the window. Normal until she opens her mouth, anyway. She asks me if I've ever been to Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans. My brain does a quick scan to remember if there is anything on my person or car that would indicate I've been to New Orleans...nope. And weirder still is the fact that we made beignets at home last Sunday. I answer yes, but am horribly confused.

'Oh, my favorite part is when someone says something funny and you laugh and powdered sugar goes flying everywhere.' Whaaaa? Did I miss something? I just smiled and took my coffee. I didn't even bother to ask for a raw sugar. I just needed to get the h-e-doublehockeysticks out of there.

What the eff? I was actually on my game this AM since hubby is with the monkey girl and I could get up an hour later. I think this is the universe's way to tell me to stop going to Starbucks. Because every one either has a crazy lady or a nasty bitch. If only I had some sort of self control...

all of the sudden i like lists

2009-01-29T13:27:00.002-06:00

Ten Things I Love About My Monkey Girl

Her feet.
The way she squeals at the TV when it's off.
How her face totally lights up when she sees me.
Her face when she smiles at her Daddy.
Her big, brown eyes that are just like mine.
When she takes a break from eating, looks right into my eyes and smiles then goes in for more.
Her unbelievably sweet face when she's sleeping.
Her fat, roly-poly thighs.
When she takes a break from playing to look at me and make sure I'm watching her.
The way she smiles at her blue octopus friend.

Okay, so I could go on and on, but am stopping myself. It amazes me every day how I can love someone so much. Just when I think I couldn't possibly love her more, I do. She's the best, even when she's screaming. Man, that girl has a set of lungs.

the sun is out, but it's still so dark

2009-01-22T08:07:00.004-06:00

I'm having one of those days today. When nothing makes sense, when my usually tidy life is all sorts of frayed at the ends. And I can't help but listen to Bon Iver, which definitely isn't helping things.

Some days I feel like a complete fraud. Like a square peg trying so hard to squeeze into a round hole. Most days I can work around it, but not today. I feel like I'm going through the motions of my life but I'm not meant to be living it. Almost as though I've stolen it from someone else. It's not my family, that's perfect. It's everything else.

It's my corporate job. WTF? How did I end up here? I never wanted this. I don't even make enough money to justify it. I cannot stand most of the people I work with, and want to gag during any type of meeting or team building. It's so gross. This place drips with money and really I want no part of it. It's not this company in particular, in fact as far as companies go, it's pretty good. It's the corporate world in general. I despise the fakeness, the attitude that anything is worthwhile as long as it makes you money. And the ease in which they then throw that money away. Styrofoam cups, fancy coffee makers (that make shit coffee, by the way), company cars, all that crap. It's so unnecessary.

I want to be with my little girl and husband every day. I don't want to have to leave her to go to work. I don't want my husband to have to compromise his ideals so I can stay home with our girl. Heck, he wants to be home with her just as much as I do. I hate that I don't make enough money to let him stay with her. I am so very thankful that she is with my parents, but it's not the same. I leave my little girl every day to schlep off to a job that I don't even like. That barely pays me enough to make it worthwhile, but wins out because it pays my health insurance and contributes (well, I might add) to my retirement. I'm tired of pumping. I'm so glad I'm able to pump for her, so she can continue to be breast fed, but it's so wrong and unnatural. I want to be able to feed her whenever she needs it, not a bottle.

In my head I'm a completely different person. We're a different family (in circumstance, not ideals). We all live and work together, not sure doing what, but earning a living as a family. It would be modest; we would grow most of our own food, live soundly with nature, and truly cherish the time we spend together. We'd live far enough away from a city to feel like the country, but close enough so that we can have cultural opportunities for our girl. I wouldn't have to fight traffic or leave my girl every day so I could earn money to pay for crap we don't need in the first place. I really belong on a commune, I think. I know I'd be happy there. Perhaps there is a woman on a commune somewhere who longs for a desk job in the city (I just laughed out loud at the thought). Perhaps we're living each other's lives.

Some days I amaze myself. How can I sit at my desk, typing this post, ready to cry, then get up to do something and joke around with co-workers? It's what I have to do. It's how I survive in this world. It is amazing, but I hate it. I don't want to be this person. I know it's how the world works. I know sometimes we have to put on masks. But why? Why should I spend my days doing something I don't want to do, being someone I don't want to be? For money? Not a good reason.

Some days I want to sell everything and start over. Get the hell out of Dodge, so to speak. We could do it, we'd be happy that way. Except then there's our families to think about. Can we take our girl away from her cousin, who is 2 1/2 weeks younger, and might be the only 'sibling' she ever knows? Could I be away from my sisters, my best friends? Could we take her away from my husband's parents, their only grandchild?

Why couldn't I have ended up with a job I liked, or one that paid more money? It's not as though I chose this path. It's all so random. In fact, I've never really 'chosen' much of what's happened in my life other than my husband and my baby. It's all just kind of happened. I didn't actively choose my college, didn't actively choose any of my jobs...they all just kind of fell into my lap. I've never been much of a chooser. I've always let others make the decisions and I go along with it. For the most part I'm okay with this; I'm easy to please. However, is it good for me? Can I really take ownership of my life? Interesting that the only things I'm truly happy with are my husband and my baby...the only things I've ever really chosen for myself. In fact, I feel a sort of anxiety when I have to make a choice. Should I go to Starbucks today? Do I need to spend the money? Yes, treat yourself. But wait, the mortgage is due. Would I rather have a new shirt than coffee every morning? Fuck, it's $2. Nothing is worth the anxiety. It's so much easier to let others choose for me.

My husband and I fantasize all the time about leaving, about buying a modest home in the country and taking life as it comes. Or running our own business in Arkansas near our in-law's cabin on Bull Shoals, one of our favorite places in the world. Maybe it's time to start thinking seriously about these things instead of talking. Maybe it's time to start making our own happiness instead of waiting for it to happen. I keep waiting for my life to take a turn, so sad days like today won't exist. But will it ever? Do I need to make the turn instead of sitting here on auto-pilot?

Maybe I just need to go to bed and wake up to a new tomorrow. Because most likely tomorrow I'll be fine, I'll be happy, I'll be able to do things without questioning everything. But no matter how many happy days I have inevitably a sad one like today will sneak in.

Ugh, thanks for letting me spew all of this. It's actually helped. It's amazing how letting things flow out can unearth truths about ourselves, like the fact that I'm so bad at decisions. That I need to get better, start deciding my own life and making my own happiness. Putting it into practice, now that's another story. One thing at a time.

The reality is that I have a job, a job with great benefits. I'm able to work 4 days a week instead of 5. I have a healthy baby and husband, and my family is nearby. I have good friends, a roof over my head, enough to eat, and a little bit of savings (horrible market notwithstanding). I should quit complaining, right? Like I said, tomorrow will be better. I get to spend the whole day with my girl.

8 annoying things about facebook

2009-01-15T12:56:00.003-06:00

People who befriend everyone and their brother so they can have a big friend count. Even if it means befriending someone you haven't spoken to in years without so much as a 'hey, how the eff are you?'
People who spend so much time doing stupid crap that it floods your news feed.
People who can't use the status line correctly. For example, 'Bob is I hate people.' You can delete the 'is' and manipulate your language to make it work. Not that difficult.
People who join every cause in the book and ask you to join too.
People who hand out things like flair, beer, and presents.
When I get random emails from Facebook telling me so-and-so has commented on my status, sent me a message, etc., but I don't have any friends by that name.
People who answer questions directed to you just because they know the answer and they're online 24/7.
People who post status updates that can't possibly be true. For example, 'Bob is cooking dinner right now.' No you're not, you're on the computer. Try 'Bob is taking a break from cooking dinner.'

I just realized almost all of these are actually about people, and not about Facebook. Me? Annoyed with people? I cannot imagine such a thing.

You'd think being so annoyed with Facebook would keep me away, yet I find myself back their at least daily. I'm so nosy.

dilemma

2009-01-14T10:35:00.003-06:00

So as I previously posted, I've become somewhat of a Starbuck's regular at the location near my office. It went to a whole new level yesterday though. The girl behind the counter remembered my name (which is another story all together - why do they need to know my name in the first place?).

This bothers me in and of itself because I'm not exactly the type of person to become a regular anywhere. First because I don't frequent the same places too much - it gets boring. Second because I'm more of a private person, and this doesn't correspond well to being a regular. But I could deal with it. I like their coffee dammit.

The real reason it bothers me though is I absolutely CANNOT STAND the girl who called me by name. And she is always there in the mornings. I can't stand even the sight of her face, it sickens me. First, she's a complete bitch to her co-workers. She's very condescending, with an air of being better than everyone else. Which is totally undeserved, as she works the same job as them and isn't even that cute. Well, she might be cute except she expends no energy whatsoever to even making sure her hair has touched a brush.

And she acts all nice and stuff towards the customers (like remembering my name) but I can tell it's just an act. Almost too nice...as if she has to work extra hard to cover up the fact that she's puking on the inside from disgust over having to communicate with the likes of us. It makes me ill.

So I'm thinking I may not frequent this Starbuck's anymore. Which would be a good thing I guess, since I don't really need to spend the money, and there's not really another location that is convenient. I think the combination of my already not-so-happy morning self and the urge to want to punch her in the face might get out of control one of these days, which would obviously be bad. Very bad.

It sucks though. Maybe she'll quit.

ugh

2009-01-07T12:48:00.004-06:00

Today I walked by my work friend making copies and I said 'makin' copies' a la Rob Schneider on SNL in the early 90s. She smiled. When I got upstairs I realized she probably had no idea what I was talking about since she was like 7 or 8 at the time this skit was on. D'oh. I'm so effing old.

randomness

2008-12-23T09:14:00.005-06:00

Oh my god, Michael Jackson is 50. Shit. That's crazy.

Random, impersonal gifts are so silly. Really. I appreciate the time and effort, but I'd rather you took the money used and gave it to someone who needs it.

Sometimes something as simple as a face makes my stomach turn. Especially when it's the face of the biggest douchebag in the company. I can't help it. Rein in the douchebaggery a hair, would ya?

I saw a guy sitting alone at a bar (I was buying a gift card) having a beer last Saturday afternoon while I was running like mad to finish up Christmas shopping. I was insanely jealous.

Babies aren't always fussy because they're hungry. They're fussy for lots of reasons. Just because I have a fussy baby (imagine that) doesn't mean she's not getting enough to eat.

I really like those iridescent blue Christmas lights. They're dull yet blinding at the same time.

I miss my best friend and so wish she lived here.

I have no self control when it comes to sweets. So far today (it's 9:30 am) I've eaten a cookie, a piece of candy, and a rice crispy treat (in addition to my morning cup of oatmeal). And there's no sign of it stopping.

A little bit of snow or ice every day is stupid. Just dump it out on us and get it over with. Snow my ass in the house. Because anything less is just a hassle.

I made fun of my sister for getting a new cell phone with a keyboard just so she could text easier. Now I want one.

My daughter is the cutest kid in the whole world. Just so you know.

I keep getting the music from my kid's toys stuck in my head. It's not good.

Okay, that's all for today. Merry Xmas --

Oh wait, that reminds me - why Xmas? That doesn't make sense. What does 'X' stand for? A cross? Merry Cross-mas? That doesn't work either. Please enlighten me.

-- (or whatever you celebrate) to all!

i work in antartica

2008-12-16T12:44:00.004-06:00

It is so effing cold in my office. I swear it can't be above 50 degrees. We're surrounded by windows in my area, and there's a major draft. Lovely.

So, in an effort to keep our hands from developing frostbite, two of us have portable heaters. Mine is tiny and is good enough to keep my cube from forming icicles. My boss went out and bought a mack daddy heater yesterday for his office, which admittedly is at least a few degrees cooler than my cube.

Yesterday he plugged it in and everything was hunky dory for an hour or so. Then suddenly his, mine, and my other boss' computer turns off, along with the printer in the hallway that's used by, oh, maybe 20 people. Oops, we blew a fuse. I knew it was the mack daddy heater because it's happened to others in the building before and I've been running mine for weeks now with no problems.

They replace it, no big deal. Then today same thing. Oops. They come up and tell us only one of us can run a heater at a time. Right...who's going to lose that battle? Me, even though my sad little heater uses a mere fraction of the power gobbled up by mack daddy heater. Boss thinks this is funny, and he's determined to make the situation work. So he plugs into an outlet on a non-shared wall to see if this helps. He is so not concerned with blowing yet another fuse and having to call down and have it replaced again, most likely leading to another ass chewing. At least he wants to make it work.

So for now we're both up and running with only moderately frozen hands as opposed to completely frozen. Nice. Hey, at least they got the room where I have to pump up above 50 degrees. That was a nightmare.

'c' is for cookie...

2008-12-10T14:58:00.001-06:00

I love my co-worker. She brought in homemade chocolate chip cookie dough (and believe me she makes the best chocolate chip cookies in the world) and baked it at work, and just brought me a warm cookie fresh from the oven. Ah, pure bliss.

mornings suck

2008-12-09T13:48:00.002-06:00

Most days I hate leaving my little Beezer and going to work. It's easier because she's with my parents all day and they're great with her, but it's still hard. Especially now that she's getting to be so much fun - giggly, very vocal, playing with toys. It's hard to believe how much she changes week to week, sometimes even day to day.

That said, it's mornings like this one that make it a little easier. The Beezer decided to wake up at 5:40 while I was getting ready (we usually leave at 6). Hubby had to entertain her (more like keep her from screaming) until I was ready to go, and of course, by this time she's starving, and you'd think we hadn't fed her for weeks. Girl wants what she wants when she wants it, that's for sure. So normally if she's a bit fussy she's out the minute we get in the car and get going. Not this morning. She cried the whole way to my parents' (a 20 minute drive). And it was rainy and gross, not fun on a busy interstate.

Of course she fell asleep the minute we turned on to their street. Just my luck. Once she eats she's fine - giggly, smiley, her old self. I guess she's just not a morning person. She's my child after all.

oh my

2008-12-04T14:09:00.002-06:00

These people have way too much time on their hands. And money, for that matter. Wake me when Christmas is over, please.

one year ago

2008-12-01T14:27:00.003-06:00

Exactly a year ago yesterday (November 30) I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I took it even though I knew already that I was pregnant, but after a few false alarms I didn't think Hubby would believe me without proof. Okay so I used to have too much time on my hands at work and my imagination works overtime.

After a year full of ups and downs our little Beezer is here and will be four months old on Wednesday. Oh, how time flies. I kept a journal during my pregnancy so I'd remember every bit of it (since most likely it won't be happening again unless Hubby and I go off the deep end) and read some of it today (like I mentioned above way too much time on my hands at work) to try and remember what it was like to feel her moving inside of me. It's amazing, and kind of sad, that even though it was only a few short months ago it's hard to remember what it felt like.

Every time I look at my sweet (and oh so fiery) little Beezer I'm thankful she's here with us. After almost losing her halfway through each day with her is very special. Sometimes I think about missing out on a 'normal' pregnancy and feel sad that I didn't get to live every day without fear and anxiety and the timing of contractions, but then I see her big old slobbery gummy smile and everything is forgotten.

I have the coolest kid in the world, even if she is headstrong and is partial to 'squawking' and upsetting her cousin. I do feel however that she may be my just dues for being such a difficult teenager, we shall see. She's going to be fun and full of surprises, that's for sure.

observations on the current state of affairs

2008-11-25T13:09:00.002-06:00

I was putting my latest gas purchase in my checkbook today and just for kicks looked back in June to see how much it cost me to fill up then. $52. Today? $19. Wow. It's been a long time.

Isn't that great? Being able to fill up for less than $20? Sure is. Up until I look at my 401(k) and see a total reversal of fate - it's worth about half what it was worth in June. Well that's kind of a lie, it's only down 30% in the last 3 months, 40% over the last year. I feel I've fared OK through all of this poopoo, I know most haven't. And thank goodness I don't have to retire anytime soon, I can sit back and buy into these funds at rock-bottom prices and will be able to see everything come back. It will come back. Who knows when, but it will.

It's interesting how things work. One turn of good fortune cannot be enjoyed quite as much because you're getting kicked in the ass somewhere else.

eek!

2008-11-24T14:09:00.002-06:00

There is a mouse currently residing somewhere in my kitchen. Hubby saw it a while ago and told me about it, and I determined that he was crazy because weeks went by without so much as a peep from the critter. He even thought he was crazy and imagined it.

No such luck. I was coming up from the basement and saw it scurry across the counter top (the very one we use for cooking! Ick!). It ran behind the TV we have in the corner (yes we are junkies) and disappeared. Then last night my lovely daughter woke up at 12:45 to eat and as I sat down with her on the couch I saw it make a u-turn at the threshold of the kitchen and the living room and beeline back into the kitchen *shudder*.

I woke hubby up and told him he was to go to the store after work and buy a trap. A humane one, of course, not a glue trap - he'll never make that mistake again. In college his roommate bought a glue trap and got the mouse - problem solved! Oh, until he realized it's feet are permanently stuck to the trap and it's alive and was faced with the decision of letting it gnaw its own feet off or killing it (which he did with a rock).

There hasn't been any confrontation between my greyhound and the mouse that I know about, and I'm hoping it stays this way. I do not want to come home to a bloody pulp in the guest bed (aka greyhound's bed) (aka her kitchen). I do not, however, worry much about this because 1. the mouse is small and fast and can hide and 2. my hound is getting old and extremely unmotivated unless cheese is involved.

We need to strategically place the trap however in a place unseen by the hound. I have visions of her finding the mouse in a trap 1. being bothered all day by it and 2. doing unsavory things to the trap in order to get at said mouse.

It took plenty of courage for me to go into the kitchen this morning to get my lunch ready and use the neti pot (cannot go a day without this miracle worker). I could see myself leaning over the sink with water (and snot) running out of my nose and being scared half to death by a mouse that I rationally know won't bother me and is more scared of me than I am of it but of which I am irrationally scared shitless.

Oh joy, the wonders of home ownership. Why can't I have a dog that will catch small animals and dispose of them properly instead of wounding them enough to put them out of commission and die a slow, painful death?

things you should never hear at work

2008-11-18T12:24:00.001-06:00

'It makes your testicles shrink.'

breastfeeding is messy

2008-11-13T12:46:00.003-06:00

When I signed up for breastfeeding (in my head anyway) no one told me it's not such a great idea to do it when you work in a dry-clean-only type of environment. I'm wearing a really cute heather gray pencil skirt and have managed to spill milk on it twice now. It's not cool having to walk around the office with big old wet spots on a heather grey skirt - I either look like my bladder control is non-existant or like a messy slob, or both. I suppose from now on I should wear lots of black (which is not a problem).

Do they make bibs for this purpose? They really should. Perhaps this is my calling, my cash cow - developer of the pumping bib. Look out Bill Gates, here I come! Or I could just go and get a kitchen apron and save the world from yet another useless product.

Seriously though, it takes an acrobat to hold one pump on while gently removing the other and simultaneously rushing in with a paper towel to clean up any drippings. It's a miracle I haven't lost it and spilled everything all over myself (my sister cannot say the same thing, poor girl - at least her pants weren't dry clean only).

no freaking way

2008-11-12T13:20:00.002-06:00

A man named Milton Betts has had the hiccups for a year. A year! I'm a mess if I have them for more than a few minutes! Hiccups are the most irritating things in the whole world. I get super pissy whenever I get them (ask hubby - he finds it hilarious). I know I couldn't deal with them for a year. Poor, poor man. Seriously, I'm horrified at the thought. Ugh.

i.am.a.mother

2008-11-11T14:49:00.002-06:00

That is so weird. The other day a girl at work called me 'mama' - as in 'What's going on, Mama?' Then yesterday someone asked me how motherhood is treating me. I guess it's sort of like saying 'my husband' after you're married - it takes a while for it to sink in and start sounding normal.

I suppose I've always been sort of a detached person. Things don't hit me the way they do others. Like when a friend was killed by a drunk driver - I didn't cry until weeks later, when something reminded me of him. A lot of things just seem surreal until some sort of reality sinks in.

Also like when I almost delivered the Beezer at 19 1/2 weeks when I was leaking fluid. I knew up until that point that I was pregnant, that I was going to be a mother, but it hadn't really sunk in until I was faced with losing her.

Maybe it'll seem more real when she starts calling me mama or mommy. Not that it matters if it seems real or not, it is. I have a little Beezer.

I am a mother.

sucked in by the man

2008-11-06T07:52:00.002-06:00

I'm so addicted to Starbucks. I swear they put some sort of chemical in there that keeps me coming back. First it was the evil pumpkin spice latte...so delicious. Now it's the cafe misto with one sugar - regular coffee with steamed milk. Yum. So much better than the crap we have at my office:

Of course we have to be fancy and get a Keurig k-cup maker. In theory these are great - you can get tons of different varieties so everyone is happy. However, they severely lack in taste. It's kind of like drinking a cup of burnt rubber. Horrible.

I'd be perfectly happy with a freshly brewed pot of Folger's. Hell, I'd even enjoy the store brand beans - that's just fine. Instead I'm forced to drink total crap made only marginally better with a flavored creamer OR stop at Starbucks and drop $2.30 on a cup of coffee.

You see my dilemma? I don't have a ton of willpower when it comes to food/beverages anyway (note my lunch cooler stuffed with M&Ms, Lemonheads, 3 Musketeers, and Whoppers swiped from the bowl in the lunchroom), so resisting the urge to stop at Starbucks when I pass by one every day and there's only nasty coffee waiting for me at work is next to impossible.

Remember when I used to be one of those people who thought Starbucks was gross? Sure, their sugary lattes were drinkable, and who doesn't like a mocha, but the regular coffee? Nah. Not worth it.

Stupid Starbucks. Maybe the one on my route will be one of the stores that closes. Yeah right.

why I love living in SoCoMo

2008-11-03T15:29:00.003-06:00

Friday night the hubby was outside fixating on his new truck when our alley neighbor drove through. First let me explain what I mean by 'alley neighbor'. We've lived in our house for over 5 years now. There's an alley next to our driveway. The alley is a way for people on another street to get to their garages. It's also the only way to get to one house. We're not sure how this works - the house isn't actually on a street. What is its address? I've never ventured back there, and for the longest time I thought the only thing back there was the one house - I never considered people would use the alley to access a garage.

There are people driving back there all the time. Mostly people in beat up hoosiermobiles sporting flowing mullets and smoking cigarettes. I always thought these people were going to visit the alley neighbors who surely were cooking up meth - why else would there be an ongoing stream of cars driving back there? They owners have always been pleasant towards us, I just assumed there were meth addicts. Whatever. Not my place to judge, right?

Once the weather got nice and a cute little Bosnian grocery opened up on the corner (it carries beer) odd folks started walking down the alley to the store to get beer and whatever else at all hours of the day. I'm talking a parade of freak show looking people - guys with limps, missing teeth, stringy hair, cut-off clothes - some with one or two oddities, some with many more. I don't understand fully what happens back there because I've never been - I envision a cave of some sort where unkempt folk squat and cook over an open fire. It makes no sense, it's just what happens in my head.

We've had interactions with the alley neighbors once or twice. One time he rang the doorbell at 3 am to tell us our dome light was on - thanks dude, I'd rather have a dead battery then to have the shit scared out of me in the middle of the night. But it's nice, I suppose.

Okay, back to Friday night. Alley neighbor stops his car as he's making his way back to talk to the hubby. Apparently one night he was 'shitty drunk' and decided he wanted some tomatoes from our garden, so he helped himself to a few. Hubby, amused and I think relieved, laughed it off and said he could take some any time he wanted.

Hearing hubby tell the story was of course hilarious, as he was able to do the hoosier drawl perfectly. I also found it hilarious that our 'shitty drunk' neighbor couldn't live without tomatoes of all things while drunk. White Castle, I get. Greasy pizza, awesome. But tomatoes? Not what I reach for when I have the drunken munchies. If he wants tomatoes that bad, have at it. As long as I don't come home to another boat motor on my back porch I'm good (that's a story for another time).

Only in SoCoMo, my friends.

i'm baaaaaaaaack!

2008-10-28T12:19:00.003-05:00

Hello world! I'm back. I decided to return for a couple of reasons:

1. I'm back at work after having my wonderful daughter, the Beatle. Life got crazy there for a while what with my pregnancy issues, and being at home all day every day means a serious lack of motivation. And being at work means I need things to fill up a boring day.

2. Some crazy shit is happening in the world as well as in our little hoosier neighborhood. The other day we saw a sign advertising 'Shit - tsu' puppies - hilarious. Who wants shih-tzu puppies anyway, much less from a moron who can't spell the name of the dogs he's breeding.

3. A very kind reader left a comment on my last post, I'll reprint it here:

Nomad said:
http://nomadicjoe.blogspot.com/

Oh what a shame that you havent written more. I like your style, very natural and conversational. One of the problem with reading blogs is just about the time you start to understand the whole life condition the writer stops adding. And the problem writing blogs is that it is very much like having a conversation in the dark.. you dont know if anybody is out there. Well, please add updates more regularly, a person with talent has a responsibility! Take care and I'll be watching you.. (your blog actually)

What a kind fellow! I am a good writer, aren't I? That leads me to number 4...

4. My writing group is back together after our break up earlier this year and I need to get on the ball. This isn't exactly fiction, but it is output of some sort, which is better than nothing.

Prepare yourselves!

omg!

2008-04-04T09:44:00.004-05:00

NKOTB was on the Today Show today! What a way to wake up on a dreary Friday morning. Wow, talk about taking me back to the good ol' days...of an obsessesd sixth grader, that is.

Contrary to the above picture, they're actually all very good looking guys. But I have to claim sweet justice - my favorite back in the day, Jonathan, a choice that brought me so much grief (I was all about picking the underdog, folks), is now the cutest, I do believe. Ha! I sure can pick 'em.

Apparently they're going to reunite for a performance on the show in May. I'm actually finding myself a little excited. I know I'm not the only one, judging from the screaming crowd on the Plaza. Then again, most of those kids can't possibly remember NKOTB in all of their glory, but that's okay. I'm just a kid at heart, right?

rude awakening

2008-03-10T11:02:00.002-05:00

Things that top my list of items not wanting to see at 7:30 on a Monday morning (the day after Spring Forward, by the way):

This book,

Sitting on my desk at work. Apparently everyone on staff was the lucky recipient of this little ditty. In case you can't see it (the picture sucks), the title is 'Jeffrey Gitomer's Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude - How to Find, Build and Keep a YES! Attitude for a Lifetime of SUCCESS'.

As if getting up at 5:45 (really 4:45 by my body's internal clock), dealing with traffic, and arriving at work by 7:30 wasn't bad enough, I had to look at this puke-yellow manual of pure boredom first thing. Anyone who knows me knows when it comes to work (not this job in particular, mind you, employment of any kind) I have nothing that resembles a YES! Attitude, especially at 7:30 on Monday morning. I don't plan on finding, building, or keeping a YES! Attitude, with or without this book. No interest in it. I plan on mustering a IF I HAVE TO Attitude when necessary, and that's as far as it goes. My attitude at work will never contain an exclamation point. In fact, unless we're talking good food and drink (of which I cannot partake right now), my attitude in general rarely contains an exclamation point. I don't like 'em.

It's a good thing we have non-operational windows, or mine would have been thrown wide open and this book would have sailed out into the back yard of the closest house. Perhaps I would have aimed for a tree, even, in hopes that it got stuck and could at least provide for some good nesting material for a bird. Because at least then it would be doing some good. At my desk it will not do anything except sit there and look ugly and childish.

Seriously, I thought the book was used at first, which would have at least been a good example of recycling (but wait, I started and maintain the only recycling at this office - aluminum and plastic - and the dumbshits here can't even discern the difference between aluminum/plastic and cardboard, banana peels, paper towels, etc.). It's mustard yellow, the edges are rounded, it's completely old-school, and has shadowy action-figure type things on the front. I think the idea is to have it look like a kids book. I'm still struggling to figure that one out, it's only 11:15, and my brain isn't what it used to be anyway due to Cletus the Fetus sucking the life force from it (I got us lost this past weekend on our way to Anthonino's on The Hill, a place we've been numerous times). Hopefully he comes out smart as a whip, because seriously, I'm dumb as a box of rocks right now. Dumber than usual, for all you smart-alecs getting ready to say 'right now? Hahahahahahahaha!'

Anyway, it's a good thing I made some incredibly delicious banana chocolate chip cookies yesterday and was able to snack on one while processing the yellow piece of crap sitting rudely on my desk. Ugh. $20 a pop. What a waste. Think of the good cookies or chocolate that could have been bought for $20. It's a shame.

puzzler

2008-03-04T08:32:00.002-06:00

We have a garage at work. It's small, but big enough to house all of our cars. It does suck to park way in back, which is all that's left if you get here late enough, because you have to walk a bit to get to the building. It's also on the ground floor, so you have to either take 2 flights of stairs up or use the elevator.

I normally park in the side lot which is a floor above the garage. It allows my car to warm in the sun (when it exists 'round these parts, that is), and also allows for a bit of a speedier get away in the afternoons.

What I don't get - why anyone would park in the uncovered side lot when they're forecasting 6-10 inches of snow during the work hours. I know forecasting the weather in St. Louis is essentially grasping straws, so we could end up with anywhere from an inch to a foot. But sheesh, the storm was ALL OVER the news yesterday and this morning. You'd have to not watch TV, listen to the radio, or use the internet to not have heard about it. And even then, it iced a bit last night, and was icing on the commute in.

I'm guessing those folk are just a glutton for punishment. Because even if it snows just a little they're going to have to brush it off, so any time saved by parking on the 1st floor as opposed to the ground floor will be negated.

It happens every time. I don't get it. One person in particular makes a practice of parking on the side lot during inclement weather and pulling up the wipers so they don't get stuck to the windshield. She obviously knows there's going to be scraping to do, but would rather do it than park in the garage.

I guess I've spent enough time in my life scraping my car and will do just about anything to avoid this.

simply staggering

2008-02-28T13:44:00.002-06:00

This report says that at least 1% of US adults are incarcerated, the highest number ever. Wow. That's eye-opening.

But even scarier is the fact that the 50 states spent $49 billion - yes, BILLION - on corrections last year.

Scariest of all, that $49 billion is six times greater - yes, SIX - than what was spent on higher education.

I picture those two stats skipping hand in hand, down the well-worn path of American mediocrity. When will The Man get a clue?

snake eats family dog as kids watch

2008-02-27T08:50:00.003-06:00

In Australia an 18 foot python ate a chihuahua at a family's home. Apparently it had been stalking the dog for days, and had even been in the dog's bed.

I know Australia is 'the ouback' and all, and there are apparently wild creatures everywhere, but seriously. If I knew an 18 foot python was stalking my hound, I probably wouldn't let her out of my sight. In fact, I'd probably barricade us all in the house until someone could come and remove the seriously huge thing (which was done, by the way, after it ate the dog).

Obviously it was an outside dog, as it had a bed outside near the snake. That's great. But don't claim to be horrified when the snake eats your annoying little yappy dog (who could blame it, really) after STALKING IT FOR 3 DAYS. Don't act all surprised.

Outside dog + 18 foot python on the hunt = bring the dog inside and alert authorities.

It's not rocket science.

Nice picture, by the way, AP. Mmmmmm, delicious.

cletus the fetus

2008-02-18T15:50:00.003-06:00

Today I took my 12 year old 'little brother' out for lunch since he was off school (but I'm not off work - boo). After I dropped him off I told him the news - that I'm having a baby in August (y'all knew that by now, right? All 3 of my readers?).

His first response: 'What?'

I repeated myself.

His second response: 'Are you kidding?'

I laughed.

His third response: 'So I'm gonna have a little sister too?'

I told him yes, or maybe a little brother, we don't know yet.

He was so excited! I walked him to the door because he had leftovers and couldn't hold it all, and it was the first thing he said to his Granny - 'Hey Granny - I'm gonna be a big brother!'

What a cutie.

Australia apologizes to Aborigines

2008-02-12T15:37:00.000-06:00

Too little too late, but at least it's something. Perhaps the US of A should take a page from their book.

yay for google

2008-02-07T16:13:00.000-06:00

I love search engines and web trackers. They're an endless source of entertainment. Here's some of the latest ways folks have ended up on my blog via search engines:

ameren ue sucks
velcro shoe poor people
ikea caskets
miley cyrus in st. louis throwing up
kathleen england sucks

and possibly the best of all time:
pictures of vaginas throwing up

Not sure that one can be topped, but seems like I'm surprised every time I check this. So who knows. There's surely an endless amount of morons out there.

it's finally over

2008-02-04T15:01:00.000-06:00

So the dreaded day is finally over - I went on Saturday to see the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus 3D movie, 'The Best of Both Worlds' with my 'little' bro. To sum things up - it most certainly is not the best of both worlds, or any world, for that matter.

Miley Cyrus is a cute girl, she's got a good voice, and I believe she even writes some, if not all, of her own music. And she's 15 - that's something to be able to perform in front of a massive crowd at that age. And her music isn't that bad. It isn't that good, but hey, even I liked crap as a young tot - NKOTB, anyone? I was slightly obsessed. Props to my parents for suffering through a concert with me and my dorky big-button wearing friends.

Anyway, I know she lip synched, at least part of the time. I was so bored I actually paid attention. I get that if you're dancing a lot, it's hard to sing. No big deal. Plenty of performers do that. I know she can sing. The most hilarious part was the Jonas Brothers. They might play instruments in real life, and on the album and whatnot, but they totally didn't play them in concert. At one point one of the kids is strumming away on the guitar then stops, hands it to some joe from offstage, and starts singing and dancing, yet the guitar playing doesn't stop. It doesn't take a detective. Then another time the camera pans to one of them playing the piano, and literally, his hands are resting on the keys - not moving at all. Miraculously, however, the piano keeps on playing.

And the clothes. Man, do kids really dress like that? If I had severe amnesia, and this movie was the first thing I saw, I'd think we were back in the heyday of the 80s. Acid wash jeans, black high tops (like Reeboks), leggings, hot pink everywhere - frightening. I swear, the Jonas Brothers were wearing leggings made to look like jeans, that's how tight they were. I get the tight-ish jeans thing with All Stars, but seriously, I could see the outline of their thighs. No, not their thingys - get your head out of the gutter. I did look, though, because theoretically they should have been there. GROSS. And again, I was unbelievably bored.

The 3D was evident, it was kind of neat, but overall a waste of 3D technology. There were previews of 2 3D movies before it started, and those short previews were way cooler than the entire Hannah Montana 3D concert experience.

The kids did seem to like it, and my bro certainly did. He made me listen to the Disney Channel on AM on the car ride to and from the mills, and believe me, I was on teenie-bopper overload. As soon as he got out of the car I felt the urge to listen to something extremely heavy and screamy IE Dimmu Borgir - alas all I had was Dustin Kensrue's solo album (from Thrice), which sufficed as it's a great album.

Now I have 'The Best of Both Worlds' song in my head. Not good. Feeling the urge to strangle myself. Once, fine. Repeatedly, very bad, especially when the only words I know are 'The Best of Both Worlds'. Arrrrrrggggghhhhhhh.

please take a moment while I bang me head against me wall

2008-02-01T10:38:00.000-06:00

We got one email yesterday about the weather:

With the ever changing winter weather conditions please drive home slowly, take your time coming in tomorrow and believe it or not: dress is business casual!

Then another today:

Hi all! Thank you all for coming to work! We know it was crazy out there. Please let me know your start times so we can update your PTO.

Hmmm...how kind of them to tell us to take our time then wait until we get here to let us know we'll be docked so we didn't rush around on the roads this morning. So darn thoughtful, the folks at my place of business.

On a side note - what good does business casual do us (here that means you can wear pants without a suit jacket - woo-freaking-hoo) when it's the pants that get mangled stomping around in 8 inches of snow? The jacket (or lack thereof) has nothing to do with anything. Business casual is stupid.

My response to the second email (I was 45 minutes late - I don't live close and don't have a garage):

DELETE!

want a hamburger?

2008-01-31T08:01:00.000-06:00

This is an example of where your meat comes from. Watch the video. This particular slaughterhouse provides meat for our schools as well as many other places. Bon Appetit!

wishful thinking

2008-01-30T14:24:00.000-06:00

Remember that band The Presidents of the United States of America? Probably not, they weren't that memorable other than a few songs. We had the hubby's 15 year old brother in town last weekend and he's hilarious when it comes to messing up song lyrics. We think it may be a small hearing deficiency due to the fact that he hasn't cleaned his ears out in months - or his fingernails, for that matter.

Anyway, the hubby made him a mixed disc with a bunch of stuff on it he thought the bro might like. One of these was 'Lump' by The Presidents (not sure why - in fact I didn't even realize we had this CD, but when you have over a thousand, these things tend to slip through the cracks).

Here's one of the lines:
Mud flowed up into lump's pajamas
she totally confused all the passing piranhas

Clever, no? Anyway, my brother-in-law thought they said 'vaginas' instead of 'pajamas'. Hilarious. Is he an adolescent male, or what???

To clarify, it's not as though the word 'pajamas' is slurred, or anything - it sounds exactly like 'pajamas' and nothing like 'vaginas'.

dreams

2008-01-28T11:13:00.000-06:00

I had a dream about Shorty Saturday night. I dreamed that I was at a party and overheard someone talking about her being there. I ran frantically around the house, my mind racing a million miles an hour. I finally found her laying on a bed. I immediately confronted her. What the hell was happening? She said that her whole family had rigged the entire situation, that she'd fallen madly in love shortly after her divorce and needed to escape for a while to get herself together and start a new life with this guy.

I was dumbfounded. Visions from her funeral flashed through my mind, images of her family, devastated, crying, angry, her brother's eulogy. I demanded answers. Her whole family had made up the suicide story? The entire funeral was faked, even the open casket (which incidentally isn't that hard to believe since I've only looked in an open casket once, at Shorty, and no part of it looked real)? They'd even made up the suicide note. Didn't I wonder why there wasn't an obituary in the newspaper?

She looked so sheepish and guilty, yet happy and content at the same time. I was angry. But then I was glad she was alive, glad she was happy, an unusual emotion for her. I had to leave the room, take a minute to process this.

That's all I remember, and I didn't remember it until well into the day on Sunday. I don't know what reminded me of it, but I'm glad it came back. It's amazing how one tiny dream (they last like a couple of seconds, right?) can awaken feelings I've shelved for a while. Honestly I haven't thought of Shorty in some time, and the triggers that cause me to remember her come less and less.

If only she had faked the whole thing. There are so many things I want to tell her, to share with her. What's so strange is that we probably wouldn't even be friends now if she hadn't done this and life went on like normal. So weird to think about.

no whammy!

2008-01-25T09:08:00.000-06:00

What's up with game shows nowadays? We watched The Moment of Truth the other night, and man, is it long and drawn out. It took forever for the dumb computer (or whatever) to say if the person was telling the truth or lying. Sheesh. They could have squeezed so many more contestants in if the dumb thing would hurry up a little bit. I'm only slightly impatient - ha.

I get it. It's all about the tension, the anticipation. It worked at first, I suppose, when it started with Millionaire. But now it's just old. Get on with it already.

I miss the good old days when game shows lasted a half hour, and were funny. Remember Press Your Luck? NoWhammyNoWhammyNoWhammy!

And the 100,000 Pyramid? And who could forget the Newlywed Game with Bob Eubanks? That was quality television. They didn't have to rely on lighting tricks or long pauses to hold your attention. I used to love watching those shows.

Now when I see a game show on TV other than Wheel of Fortune (yes, I'm 30 going on 75) I immediately turn it off. Unless it's The Price is Right, of course. Even with Drew Carey (who cannot hold a candle to Bob Barker, sadly).

sicko

2008-01-16T09:41:00.000-06:00

The hub and I watched Sicko last night, finally. My first observation - we're both so lucky to have good health insurance. Or let me rephrase - we're both so lucky to never have had major health problems and consequently haven't ever had to do battle with our insurance companies.

Some other observations:

Why in the world is our health care industry for-profit as opposed to not-for-profit? Who thought that leaving our health care (and life-or-death decisions) in the hands of greedy corporations was a good idea? Apparently Nixon. Both the hub and myself wondered what health care was like before that. I suppose it's something I shall research on the good old internets.
I thought moving to Canada was a good idea when there was talk of a draft for the Iraq fiasco. Seeing this movie made it seem like an even better idea. Canada, eh? The upside - I've heard Vancouver is amazing, and it's a short distance from Seattle, which is also great. The downside - it's freezing ass up there. That would be difficult.
If not Canada, perhaps England? The upside - you're living in the UK. The downside - it's so darn far away. But man, over in Europe, they've got it good. They get great vacation, maternity leave, work 35 hours a week, drink wine all the time - sounds good to me. I think the fact that they're so darn relaxed is very appealing. They don't run themselves ragged over there like we do here. Way less stress.
Sometimes I'm so darn ashamed of this country. Yes, we have freedoms, blah, blah, blah. But what is 'freedom'? It certainly isn't losing your two year old daughter because you took her to the wrong hospital and your insurance company wouldn't authorize any treatment. It certainly isn't losing your husband because your insurance company wouldn't allow a life saving treatment because it was 'experimental'. Well fuck - he was dying anyway, what's a little 'experimental' treatment going to hurt? And it certainly isn't having your poor ass dropped off, still in your hospital 'gown', in front of a homeless shelter because you can't pay your hospital bill.

Anyway, you should see this movie if you haven't. It's quite eye-opening. And tear-jerking.

you should vote for...

2008-01-10T14:04:00.001-06:00

According to this survey, I should vote for Chris Dodd. Which is interesting, for I know little to nothing about him. Perhaps I should pay more attention? I'm still leaning towards Edwards though. Why do I always have to pick the guys who don't have a chance? Ugh, all I know is that I cannot stand Hillary. Gag. And that's saying a lot, as I would love to see a woman president.

sickening

2008-01-03T12:41:00.001-06:00

Wow - long time no write!

I was listening to my favorite radio program today, Fresh Air, on NPR. Terry Gross was interviewing David Cay Johnston, author of Free Lunch: How the Wealthiest Americans Enrich Themselves at Government Expense (and Stick You with the Bill). Fascinating. I only heard bits and pieces, but what I heard was enough to make me sick.

I first heard him talking about how big-box stores like Wal-Mart and Cabela's build in certain areas because of big tax breaks offered by the city. No big surprise, I knew that already. But I didn't know that a lot of times the deals involve the store keeping the sales tax paid by its customers. WhatWhatWhat? That's right. When you go to the fantastic Wally World, the amount you pay in sales tax stays right there at the store. It doesn't go, as previously thought, to support your schools, police force, firefighters, or road improvements. It goes to line the pockets of the Waltons. Nice!

I then heard him speak about how Dubya got rich by the building of a new stadium for the Texas Rangers. Yes, because of a baseball team, not oil, or the stock market. Apparently he was 2% owner of the team, and fronted $650K to get the stadium built. The city of Arlington, Texas passed a bill to add a 1/2 cent sales tax increase in order to build the stadium. It's good for the city, right? It'll bring in new business! Believe me, we here in St. Louis know all about new stadiums and all the hoopla that goes on to get them built. Anyway, the stadium cost $191 million (mind boggling, I know) - $135 million came from the sales tax hike, and $56 million from the owners. I don't know the specifics, but after it was built, the owners were allowed to buy it for a fraction of the cost. They then sold it for a big profit, and somehow or another Dubya ended up getting 10% of the profits, a cool $17 million. Quite a return on a $650K investment! I suppose one could say the people of Arlington helped make Dubya quite a fortune (and I'm sure a few select others).

To add insult to injury, that $17 million should have been reported as income on his tax return, (I don't know the particulars - I'm not a tax accountant), but was instead reported as capital gains - assessing a 15% tax instead of whatever his normal tax bracket was. Wow. Must be nice. I know many people abuse the tax system, but many people don't go on to become our fearless leader.

Man, this stuff blows my mind. I know it's perfectly legal. I get it. But it frustrates me that big-box companies go into small towns and put small, hometown companies out of business, all the while collecting our sales taxes. It's disgusting. It further enforces my decision to buy local whenever possible.

a nice balance

2007-12-13T14:07:00.000-06:00

One thing that drives me crazy (out of many, believe me you):

Stupid automatic phone systems with voice recognition as the only option. How dumb do I sound saying, slowly and clearly, things like 'Accounts' and 'Representative' out loud, alone, in my cubicle? It's so weird. You definitely can't mumble it. Then you face the wrath of 'I'm sorry, I didn't hear you clearly. Please say the option again.' It's so damn polite. What it really means is 'Speak the fuck up, moron!'. I'd be so much happier if it would just say that instead.

What genius invented the stupid voice recognition system? What good does it do? You still have to listen to the automatic voice rattle off all of the possible choices. Does anyone prefer saying their choice out loud as opposed to just hitting the darn button? It doesn't save any time. Don't most people use these at the office anyway? So stupid. I'd love to sit the inventor down next to the office of the old, loud, crazy guy next to me and listen to him shout his options over and over, then get really pissed, and hang up. Over and over. It's great. Such an improvement.

One thing that's making me feel better about dumb wastes of time:

A hot mug of Wild Oats organic instant hot cocoa. Hands down the best instant cocoa I've ever had. If only I was at home and it was snowing! Then the day would be perfect.

spawn of billy ray

2007-12-05T13:23:00.000-06:00

I took my 'little brother' to see Bee Movie last Sunday. It was okay. It probably would have been a little better if he hadn't talked through the entire thing. He's really bad about that. I tell him to ssh, or talk quieter, but it doesn't really work, so usually I give up. Oh well.

When I was driving him home, he found the Disney radio channel on the AM dial (he's 12). The Jonas Brothers came on. I know them because my niece likes them, but that's it. I know nothing else about them. He told me they went on tour with Miley Cyrus (Hanna Montana, for those of you lucky folks who don't know), and that there's a movie coming out with footage from the concert plus some backstage stuff too. I asked him if he wanted to see it, thinking he'd be horrified, but no, he does want to see it.

Doesn't that seem odd? A junior high boy wanting to see Miley Cyrus? And I don't think it's because he 'likes' her, or thinks she's cute. I really think he likes the TV show and her music. I hope he doesn't talk about this at school. As the hub-unit put it, it's a good thing he's at the small, all-boys private school, and not at the mega-huge University City public school. He was picked on enough there, this would probably make him public enemy number one.

So we were at Target yesterday doing some shopping, and the little brother called me twice. I didn't get the calls right away, but called him a little later. He was urgently calling me to tell me the tickets for the above-described movie were on sale. I was confused. Do these tickets work differently than other movie tickets? Turns out it's only going to be in theaters from Feb. 1-7, 2008. Whew, at least I won't have to see it until then.

Is it too much to hope that he will have gotten over this odd fascination by then?

just can't help myself

2007-11-29T15:13:00.000-06:00

Quick recap of Saturday's MU-KU game:

AND:

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius

(Real men of genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan.

(Mr. Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan)

Eleven straight wins, you wore that classy "Muck Fizzou" shirt like you meant it

(Pinch me, I'm dreamin'!)

A season of bloated statistics and over-hyped wins against JuniorVarsity competition

(Serve another cupcake!)

Losing to a superior team with better players is no match for your what-if scenarios and could-have-been dreams

(The field goal missed by inches!)

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light you emphatic engineer of excuses. After all, you would've won the game if it was played somewhere else!

(Mr Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan.)

Bud Light. St. Louis, MISSOURI

M-I-Z

2007-11-26T09:27:00.000-06:00

F-K-U!

What a game on Saturday night. I was confident the Tigers would win, but man, they totally dominated. The score didn't quite reflect the damage we inflicted on the Jayhawks. I believe that was the best game I've ever seen, by far. And the game next week promises to be just as good. But KU did give us a run for our money during the second quarter - I admit, I was waiting the whole time for Mizzou to crumble. I suppose it's just instinct after all of those seasons when they did manage to fall apart.

We've got some unfinished business against Oklahoma, and this time it'll be on neutral territory, not at Norman. And we'll be riding high off of the KU win. Man, I'm excited to watch it now, and it's only Monday morning.

I'm excited even though I just overheard the bigwigs here talking about chartering a flight to San Antonio for the game this weekend. Must be nice, right? They all went to the game on Saturday and sat in some special box on the field. Stupid rich people and their stupid ability to do anything they want. Makes me want to puke! I definitely do not have any tolerance for that on a Monday morning. And I suppose I'll get to hear about it all week. Yay me.

eating poop

2007-11-21T08:30:00.000-06:00

Have you heard of 'two girls, one cup'? If not, it's probably for the best. Whatever you do, don't go out on the internets looking for it. I kid you not. I refused to watch, but curiosity got the better of my hub-unit, and he gagged for the rest of the night whenever he thought about it. This after only watching the first five seconds from across the room. In fact, I was in the shower, and after making horrible noises in the other room (that I could hear above the shower, mind you) he rushed in and stood by the toilet for a good five minutes just in case.

What you should do instead is check out that's not news.com. Apparently there has been a rash of people taping others watching the video for the first time. They're hilarious. Much funnier, apparently, than watching the actual video, though as I mentioned earlier, I wouldn't know. I'd heard rumors about what it contained, and after hearing one of the girls in the youtube video actually describe what was happening, that was enough.

That's why the internets is so great. Two girls can make a video of themselves doing despicable and completely wrong things, and it becomes the next big thing that everyone's talking about. Eating poop can make you a 'celebrity'. I suppose fame is worth it at any price, huh? What a world.

oh, the possibilities...

2007-11-16T10:16:00.000-06:00

This is a big weekend for college football fans, especially for Tiger (5th in the nation) fans. The weekend could play out a few different ways.

Missouri and Kansas U lose. That would suck (the Missouri part, anyway), but hey, we'll be back bigger and stronger than last year, right? We'd have to put our Big 12 faith in Oklahoma's hands.
Missouri loses, Kansas wins. That would suck horribly. But then we'd come back next weekend and kick their asses.
Missouri wins, Kansas loses. That would be frikkin' awesome. Too incredible for words.
Missouri wins, Kansas wins. That would be okay too. Cause we'll just kill them next weekend.

But there are a few more possibilities:

LSU loses. They've done it once already this year. Could happen again.
Oklahoma loses. They've also done it once already this year.

Because Oregon State bit it last night against Arizona, this would leave the top spots up for grabs. It's a possibility, as pointed out by my hub-unit, that Missouri and Kansas U could be 1 & 2 in the nation. Holy crap. That would be something. Then, numbers 1 & 2 would play each other in a regular season game. Unbelievable. And I passed on a ticket to attend this game way back when they went on sale and no one had any idea this could be so huge, thereby allowing my bro-in-law to go instead. Crap. I'm such an idiot!

Of course, chances of this happening are small, but they do exist. That's what's so great about football. Anything can happen.

Quoth the Tiger...Nevermore!

going back home

2007-11-13T08:04:00.000-06:00

I spent this past weekend at my parents' house taking care of their dog while they were out of town. The dog can't go to a kennel for reasons I won't go into (it's another whole post in itself), but she's a sweet dog, albeit a bit crazy.

My parents still live in the house where I grew up, and by that I mean spent every year of my life there until the age of 18. I've been gone now for 12 years (with a minor setback), yet when I'm there, it's as if I never left. There are so many memories. I had my first kiss on the front porch, flipped over the handlebars of my bike and broke my thumb in the back yard, laid in bed with Mom and watched TV at night and gossiped about boys and friends, had friends spend the night on the sofa bed in the basement, admired my older sisters when they still lived in the basement, set up massive little people worlds with my younger sister and played countless games of make believe, kicked her ass in Mario Cart on the Super Nintendo, laughed hysterically with my Mom when the ump said 'FOUL BALL' while playing baseball on the Atari, practised catching and hitting balls with my Dad (and coach) in the backyard, waited for Dad to get home every night with my younger sister, punched a hole in the wall of the staircase, cried many tears and shared many hugs. I could go on and on. I was a very lucky girl - I had a great childhood.

I took the dog for a walk around the loop behind my parents' house, the loop that circles the neighborhood pool (a place I went to every day, every summer as a kid, and caused my share of trouble). I passed by so many homes with even more memories. As kids, we ran wild all hours of the day, and even into the evening. We knew all the kids in the neighborhood. A kid could be a huge nerd at school, but during the summers, we were all equals. Summers for me were magical like that. I had my school friends, and separately, my summer friends (though there were a few overlaps).

Anyway, on my walk, it occurred to me how few of those houses had any connection to me now, yet I knew them intimately. I'd been in every single room, yet strangers were there now, or people who wouldn't probably recognize me at all after so many years.

I started typing out a list of my memories of the houses and the people who live(d) there, but really, you don't care about that. It's enough for me to think again about all of those memories. To wonder what happened to some of my best friends at the time, what became of their families. Some I know about, some will be lost forever.

It's enough to think about those kids and that I'll probably never have closer friends. They knew everything about me, saw me at my best, and at my worst. We learned valuable life lessons together, and shared so many 'firsts'.

It's impossible to be in my old neighborhood and not remember the time we passed out in the pool parking lot and went to swim practice afterwards after sneaking out of one of the girls' houses, driving around with the cute lifeguard in his Honda CRX, getting a ride to school with Dinky (one of the nerdy boys) when my parents grounded me from the car my junior year and forced me to ride the bus (the horror!), hoofing every square inch of the neighborhood on Halloween and getting a pillowcase full of candy, playing flashlight tag in the gloaming hour of warm, summer evenings full of fireflies, winning first place in the final freestyle race of summer swim league and eating so much lik-m-aid it made us sick, launching water balloons from the deck of a boy who'd survived leukemia onto the unsuspecting pool patrons nearby - really, the list is endless. I could go on forever.

I was really struck though by the house of a family I'd known because one of their sons was best friends with the little brother of my best friend. Their house is visible from my parents' backyard. The entire family died of carbon dioxide poisoning. I was living in Texas when it happened, and hadn't ever really gotten the chance to look at that house and really think about it. I saw a car sitting in the driveway. Do the current owners know what happened? Does it, or did it, disturb them? How depressing. He was a good boy, a smart boy. And he and my friend's little brother used to chant 'duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, cha-cha-cha-cha-chicken' at us all the time. I don't know why. They were odd kids. It's surreal, having such a strong memory of the boys at that age, chanting that irritating ditty, yet one of them is dead.

Kind of like my childhood memories. They're so vivid, some of them anyway, yet they're as good as dead. I can't have them back. I'll never be that naive, innocent child again. I miss those days, but am now starting to appreciate the person I've become. I guess I'm beginning to just now understand that it's time to be an adult, and moreover, like being an adult. Perhaps this is why I was able to really take in all of those memories, to separate myself from them.

Or maybe the dog woke me up at 7 for a walk and in my near-sleepwalking state everything seemed surreal. Whatever.

free the WM3! - maybe soon!

2007-11-07T15:52:00.000-06:00

Look at this story - I found it on the front page of CNN. I found it by accident, drawn in by the 'cub scout killers'. That's the first time I've heard of the West Memphis 3 being called the 'cub scout killers', but whatever gets them onto the front page of CNN is fine with me.

The news has been out for a while now, but is only garnering national attention recently. Some DNA evidence has been released, and it doesn't match any of the 3 in jail. It does however closely match the father of one of the three murdered boys, Terry Hobbs. I am in no way, shape, or form indicting him in these horrific crimes, as this is what was done to the 3 so long ago. Interesting, though, how things have turned out.

I'm just eagerly anticipating what will come of a writ filed on behalf of Damian Echols, who currently sits on death row. I'm hoping, of course, for exoneration, but will settle for a new trial. After fighting for this cause for so many years, it's so exciting to see it sprouting up all over the place. It's amazing to hear that so many people have visited the website in the last few days that the servers crashed.

I feel they'll be set free, but I hope the state of Arkansas will compensate them somehow for the 10+ years they spent in prison as innocent men. Of course all they want is their freedom. But can you imagine? It unfortunately happens all too often.

I can't wait for the day I can cover my 'free the 3' bumper stickers with stickers saying 'freed!'.

audio science clayton

2007-11-06T14:57:00.001-06:00

I learned today (from my fav time-wasting site, Go Fug Yourself) that a celebrity named Shannyn Sossamon named her child Audio Science. Well, I learned of Shannyn Sossamon today too, but she's not nearly as entertaining as her child's name. Audio? Science? Audio Science?

How? And better yet, Why?

I get wanting to give your child a unique name. I share my ubiquitous first name with millions of people. But I'd rather have my name any day over the likes of:

Apple
Rumer
Moxie CrimeFighter
Dweezil
Tu Morrow
Denim
Pilot Inspektor
Reven Niaga (Never Again backwards - straight from BelleMO)

You get the point. Apparently these celebrities (and hicks) were totally cool kids and never got picked on. Giving your kid a name like that is an open invitation to get their asses kicked. And seriously, it all ties back to my earlier post on Coco Crisp (hee hee) - assuming these children grow up to be normal adults (it's a long shot, but play along), how can they go out into the real world and look for a job? Can you imagine investing money with Pilot Inspektor? Or purchasing a home with the help of Apple? Or how about Tu Morrow teaching your kids?

This further reinforces my opinion that people should have to earn the right to have children.

mind-boggling

2007-11-02T16:17:00.000-05:00

Hmmm, this makes it easy to understand why many Americans eat the way they do. I really thought about how salads do cost more than Big Macs (and many, many other things) after reading this article - it's just not right.

What's really not right is being able to buy a burger for $1 (McDonald's value menu) - why on earth would anyone think that's a good deal? You get what you pay for. A $1 burger. So disgusting.

halloweenie

2007-11-01T13:26:00.000-05:00

We had tons of kids come by for candy last night. The weather was amazing, and it stayed light an hour longer than last year. We spent nearly $30 on candy, and got rid of it all (mostly - I had to save some for myself). One of the highlights of the evening was truly appreciating the fact that we live in a neighborhood where the local bar (a block away from our house) was the hit of the night, where a crowd of parents and kids was present at all times. Yes, our local bar participates in handing out Halloween candy. That's awesome.

Some of the best jokes:

Where do pirates go for dinner?
Arrrrrrby's

Where does the lady with one leg go for breakfast?
IHOP (as told by Katie?)

followed by:
Who eats at IHOP?
Katie! (as told by the girl's much younger sister)

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
A Roman Catholic (our favorite 'coherent' joke)

Who has a dog with pizza on its head?
Me! (our favorite 'non-coherent' joke)

Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say poop?

The poop was the best joke overall, mostly because jokes that end with poop are always funny even if they make no sense. However, watching the girl tell the nun joke to the ex-nun who lives next door was pretty hilarious. All in all a good halloweenie.

need an oil can for those creaky joints

2007-10-29T08:34:00.001-05:00

I took my 'little brother' bowling yesterday. Remind me to never bowl again. I can't believe how bad my back hurt last night, not to mention today. And my wrist. Oh dear, I wonder if it'll ever be the same again. It's already all out of wack because I sit at the computer all day. Just put me on the fast track to carpal tunnel already. Can I really only be 30? Last night I felt more like 75.

The best part of the game was my decision to roll the ball through my legs on my very last frame of the day. I got a strike. How's that for luck? It just proves I have no skill at this sport whatsoever. My little brother wanted me to lose on purpose so he could win. He didn't get at all that it actually takes skill to lose at bowling when the bumpers are up. Really, anything goes. I tried to miss pins a couple of times and ended up getting spares. It doesn't work that way. I only beat him by marginal amounts anyway, and surely not because I was trying.

Bowling is messed up like that. I don't think anyone can say they were born good at it. I'd call myself a 'natural' athlete. I love sports, I love competing, and I've always been at least somewhat good at everything I tried. I suppose maybe if I practiced a little more I could be good at it, but see, that's where you lose me. I never liked practicing. Perhaps why I wasn't ever a great athlete. But I'm okay with that. I'll fully admit to my laziness any day.

the greatest soap

2007-10-26T10:24:00.000-05:00

This stuff is awesome. I found it at a local store called the Home Eco in South City. Not only does it smell great, but it's totally vegan, and locally made by a St. Louis company called Herbaria.

I first tried their soaps when I bought a citronella & marigold soap for our annual trip to the cabin in AR hoping it would fend off some of the bugs. Fend off it did! I didn't use a drop of bug spray the entire time, and emerged bite-free, while the rest of our guests got eaten alive despite drenching themselves in that nasty commercial bug spray. I cannot stand that stuff - not only because it's pure chemical, but because it always ends up in my mouth no matter how much care I take to keep it away. Sick. It tastes awful.

You can go to the Home Eco, or there are tons of shops that sell the soaps in the area and even around the country. These are such a great treat every time I shower. They smell awesome, lather really well, and leave my skin so soft. Best of all, you're not rubbing chemicals and artificial ingredients into your skin every day, which is what you find in regular soaps/body washes. If that doesn't make you feel good, well, then you're some kind of weirdo.

my favorite baseball player of all time

2007-10-19T11:11:00.000-05:00

Here he is. His name is Coco Crisp. That's right, Coco Crisp. Seriously, how cruel were his parents? I know Cocoa Crisp isn't a cereal, but it sure as heck could be. He should market the shit out of that. A good name like Coco Crisp can't go to waste, right?

I do know it's a darn good thing he's a professional athlete making tons of dough. Because can you imagine being Coco Crisp and going in to interview as an accountant? Or, mayhap, a teacher? People would remember you, that's for sure. That's if they can get past the hysterics they'll inevitably have whilst reading the resume.

I have to hand it to the sports talk folks and announcers for keeping it together when they mention this guy. Because all I have to do is hear it and chuckling ensues. I can be in the worst mood in the world, then turn on a Sox game (well I could do this if we had cable) and am guaranteed a laugh.

Thanks, Coco.

knew it!

2007-10-12T15:53:00.000-05:00

There's lead in lipstick???? That's so wrong. I knew there had to be a good reason I don't wear lipstick other than general laziness.

The most disturbing part of the whole article:

According to the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, one-third of the tested lipsticks exceeded the FDA's limit for lead in candy - a standard established to protect children from directly ingesting lead.

Seriously? Lead in candy? What brainiac thought that was a good idea? Why would we possibly need lead in candy? I knew my absolute favorite candy - gummy bears (or worms, I'm not picky) was too good to be true. If there's lead in anything, I'm sure it's gummy bears. I don't know why. I'm sure it's God's way of punishing me.

Candy's been one of my last strongholds. I check ingredients on almost everything to make sure there isn't anything artificial, and avoid those things that harbor the foreign particles. But up until this point I've ignored candy, not wanting to look and see all kinds of nasties in my favorite treats.

But come on. I at a Reese's peanut butter cup today and the top was kind of watery. Have you ever noticed that with Reese's? There's always a thin film of wetness on top? What the hell is that? It can be ignored no more.

But oh, my beloved gummies. I just don't know that I can give you up. Especially the Haribo Happy Colas. Mmmmmmm, chewy goodness. Soda flavored candy. For a girl who loves both soda (thank goodness for Hansen's) and sugar, this is pure evil.

Maybe I will save you for special occasions.

it's so true

2007-10-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

So, it turns out that if one were to google 'KU sucks and swallows', my blog is the first thing to come up.

That totally made my day.

'twas a murder

2007-10-08T11:41:00.000-05:00

Missouri beat Nebraska 41-6 on Saturday night. Ha! Silly Cornhuskers. This makes Missouri 5-0. What a great game.

I saw this today - hilarious:

Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up: Fireman, Truck Driver, Salesman, etc. but, Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer and takes off all his clothes at a bar. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with someone for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by his statement immediately changed the subject and hurriedly set the other children to work on a coloring project.

She then took Little Johnny aside and asked him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Johnny, "He's defensive coordinator at the University of Nebraska. I was just too embarrassed to say that."

theraflu is magic

2007-10-05T11:46:00.000-05:00

There's nothing worse than being up all night with a horrible cold/cough/aches/ickyness. Thankfully Theraflu knocked me on my ass last night and I didn't even wake up one teeny time.

I was able to fall asleep despite each raspy breath drawn in through a raw throat threatening rebellion at each intake. I woke up with a clogged throat/chest waiting to unleash hellish, racking coughs. Which I fully expected. I just also expected to be horribly tired from lack of sleep due to above mentioned horribleness.

In this so sad day and age where the new, 'improved' NyQuil reigns no more (thanks to those snaggle-toothed meth addicts), it's nice to know Theraflu is out there waiting to put me out of my misery, if only for a night.

yet another subset of st. louis i never knew existed

2007-09-26T08:37:00.000-05:00

Last night, after our bi-monthly meeting, the girls in my writing group and I went to check out an open mic night hosted by the St. Louis Writers' Guild. It happened to be held at a bar literally feet away from where we usually meet in South City, so we figured what the heck?

It was...interesting. To say the least. It was apparently their 'loudmouth' version of open mic night, which means pretty much anything goes. And go it did last night. It started off with an awkward poet who left a lot to be desired. Bless his heart, he got up there and read his stuff, which takes a lot of guts, but whew. Not a great start. It only picked up from there, though. The next guy apparently is practicing to be a stand up comic, so between his routine he read a vulgar poem of sorts about vagina shortening (the procedure, not a spray-on-Pam type of sex toy, as he explained). He had his moments, but he definitely thought he was a lot funnier than he was.

He was followed by both poets and short story writers, as well as a novelist, reading a chapter from her work-in-progress. It was a small crowd, so we were accosted from the beginning about whether we were there to read. We politely declined. We had to case the joint first.

We sat at a table in back with another first-timer, a very pleasant PhD student who moved here in July. During break a seasoned poet, and quite the character, came to scope us out and get our story. I can honestly say I've never met anyone quite like him. He's been published in 45 magazines, looked like a beatnick, and had traveled all over the world. Yes, we learned all of this within the span of 5 minutes. Then, one of the organizers, a sweet older man, came over to apologize for the resident 'comedian' and his tomfooleries. We were instantly taken by him - he was so darn pleasant, and had a sense of humor to boot. There seemed to be such camaraderie amongst these folks, it was really comforting. I definitely felt as though I could have read there and been wholly accepted, whether I was good or not. And believe me, there was some talent there, both in poetry and fiction. One girl wrote a story so darn funny at one point I was wiping tears from my eyes. That's serious.

As we got up to leave they thanked us for coming, and made us promise to read the next time we attended. If we attend again, that is. I think we all enjoyed it. Enough to get up and read our work? Only time will tell.

open letter to earth

2007-09-20T13:28:00.000-05:00

Hey earth? You're killing me right now. First of all, the weather is hot as h-e-double hockey sticks. 90s in late September? Come on. There better be some really good weather in store to make up for this bullshit. It better not be in the 50s next week for highs.

And about this time change thing. Boy do I love me some daylight savings time. When it rolls around in the spring I'm happy as a pig in shit (and they shit a lot, by the way). It's the start of something great - longer days, sunny weather, warmth - it's beautiful. I tolerate it in the fall as it means the beginning of winter, which I love in a very different way. I'm like a small child when it snows (or even threatens to snow) - very excited. I like warm clothes, fat comforters, slippers, and cozy blankets, not to mention chili, roasts, and hot soup. Mmmmmmmm.

However, what the fuck is happening in the sky right now? It's pitch black when I get up in the morning. Is this some sort of joke? How can I get up and get ready for work when it still seems like the middle of the night? Even my dog looks at me like I'm an evil axe murderer when I go in her room (yes she has her own room) and turn on the light so I can get clothes (yes my clothes are in the dog's room...that's what happens when you have too many clothes). Small children are walking to school in the dark. What if the evil sex offender living down the street that my internets tells me about snags them right from the sidewalk? How could you let that happen?

Mostly though I'm complaining at the incredible sadness that occurs when my alarm goes off in the pitch blackness. And now I have to wait until November for that to change. I cannot deal with this for another month and a half.

Earth, why you gotta be so cruel?

being all outdoorsy

2007-09-18T09:40:00.001-05:00

Whew. Camping this past weekend was a blast. We, along with ten other people or so, went up to a friend's parents' house near Mark Twain Lake. They've got a huge house with a ton of property, and were nice enough to let us all camp in their yard. It's amazing up there. The weather was incredible, which helped, but seriously, their place blew my mind. It's exactly what I want (trade the huge house for a modest one - let's be realistic). They've got a pond, land rented out to a farmer (currently soybeans are planted), and a fantastic garden. They get up every morning and go fishing out on Mark Twain Lake then spend the rest of the day moseying about in their sweet five-wheeler (similar to the one below).

How cool is that? They can hunt and fish, and she grows everything from peppers to pumpkins to huge zucchinis, even hops (for our friend's homebrew). Man, did it stir up that part of me who wants that life more than anything. Of course, I'd have to have some cows, chickens, and goats with all of that land. Deeelicious.

It also reminded me that I want to learn how to deer hunt. Crazy, I know. If I would have told my 18 year old self (hell, even my 25 year old self) that I'd be thinking of hunting deer at age 30, they would have probably passed out from shock. The only drawback is that to get a permit one has to take a MO Dept of Conservation class. It's either 3 weeknights or two full weekend days. So, that requires (1) me remembering to sit down with the hub (who also wants to learn to hunt) (2) pulling out the laptop and a list of classes (3) managing to find classes that can squeeze into our busy lives this time of year (4) signing up for said classes.

That's a lot of steps.

But, we're running out of time. Gun season starts in November. And not only do we have to get permits, but I have to learn to shoot a gun. I've only done it once. Luckily I gots lots of friends who hunt. Mostly I want to do this for the meat, not because I like stalking and killing things. Though I might. One never knows until one tries. This could open up a very scary can of worms.

I envision this not happening until next year. We'll see.

ramblings

2007-09-11T16:04:00.000-05:00

I'm having trouble finding an excuse to write - anything, really. I can't think of anything to write here, and certainly can't seem to make myself write any fiction at all. The rest of my writing group feels the same way - or at least they did. We've been AWOL for a few months now. Perhaps it's the nice weather, and having too many things to do outside. I don't know. It's weird. I definitely think about writing, I just can't seem to make myself do it. Hopefully that will change. I'm having thoughts of starting a novel again, though it didn't get me far on my last attempt. One of these days it will click. Just have to keep plugging along.

The weather has cooled off. I love it. It's finally time to open the windows. I'm sure my dog is hating life right now (she acts as though we're killing her if the temperature in the house is even one degree warmer than usual), but it's just too nice at night. We're camping with a group of friends (new friends, must be on best behavior - yeah right) this weekend, and it's supposed to dip down into the lower forties. That's the best camping weather ever. And supposedly they'll have a huge bonfire, so that will be perfect.

The hub and I are completely obsessed with Deadwood as of late. We're watching the series from the beginning from Netflix. I like it this way - we don't have cable (read: we're too cheap), so instead of waiting week to week for a new episode, we can inhale them as fast as the mailman can bring them. We're both fascinated with the West during that time period. The characters are so great and have incredible depth. I can't decide which I like best. We're still in the first season, and boy, I will be so sad when it's over. Maybe as sad as I was after watching the last Freaks & Geeks (oh Judd Apatow, how I love thee). I didn't think it was possible.

It's sunny, cloudless actually, and around 75 right now, and time cannot go slower. It's nearing in on go time though, and I can't wait to get outside. This time of year kills me. It's damn near impossible to sit here at work all day when the weather is this nice and stare out the window. One day I will not be stuck in an office all day, I'll be able to enjoy this whenever I want. One day...

what I'm drinking (and it's not beer...for once)

2007-09-06T13:10:00.000-05:00

I'm currently drinking the Green Dragon variety of Honest Tea...green tea with passion fruit.* It's delicious. Thanks to CB & V, who are addicts themselves, I've turned into a gigantic iced tea addict. I've always been on good terms with tea, but it's gone to a whole new level - to the point of actually wondering whether I'm overdoing it on the green tea little bit (this is apparently possible).

On the flip side, I'm drinking WAY less soda. In fact, the last soda I remember having was this past weekend - Dr. Pepper obtained from Taco Bell along with my three bean (no meat!) tacos. I've even taken to drinking tea when we go out to eat as opposed to soda (other than the previously mentioned Dr. Pepper - it was to mix with rum). I've been trying to kick the soda habit for a while now. The diet varieties just don't fit into my no-artificial-sweetner kick, and regular soda is chock full of calories and high fructose corn syrup (another thing I'm trying to avoid).

Folks who know me will understand how big a deal this is. I've been a soda addict for as long as I can remember. In college, my roomie (and new mom! hi!) Hammertime and I existed on soda (close your eyes mom and dad - and alcohol). Water was not in our vocabulary. We'd even trade in our leftover meal plan points for twelve packs. The past few years or so I've tried to limit myself to one a day, which was pretty good.

So I'm happy I've found a beverage to replace soda. I like it almost as much! And the best part is that I like it unsweetened (not that I will discriminate against sweetened). It's good for you, and low in calories. Perfect. And so refreshing. I like to brew my own iced green tea with a sprig of fresh mint from the yard. Mmmmmmm.

*Yes, I am strangely obsessed with beverages of any kind. See the previous entry. It's a running joke between the hub and I - when we go to the store, we laugh about how much of our final cart is full of beverages. It's seriously not right.

get you some

2007-09-05T15:26:00.000-05:00

A new batch of funny searches that brought people to my blog:

'ikea arkansas'

'camping pee'

'throwing up at mcdonalds drive thru'

'greyhound throws up food'

'does ikea really care' (take your best guess, guy)

'drunk peeing camping'

'haven't thrown up in years'

and the winner:

'throw up work out' (I can only imagine what else came up with this search. Get it? Came up? Wow, I have too much time on my hands.)

On the life front, I know it's getting to be fall because of the arrival of:

O'Fallon's Pumpkin Ale! Yay. Go out and get some. You won't be disappointed. I am going to get another 6 pack tonight because the summer beer, Wheach, sold out really fast, and I don't want to miss out.

TGIALW (thank god it's a long weekend)

2007-08-31T14:21:00.001-05:00

This is what my friend at work had to say in an email after I griped about my boss only letting me go an hour and a half early today for the three I worked last night at the event (but I had fun, didn't I?) (these were my consolation prizes - read: leftover food I swiped from the fridge):

Total of 3 hours overtime owed
- Vodka $15 (1 hour)
- Jar of Olives $7 (1/2 hour)
- Fruit $3 (1/4 hour)
- Expensive cheeses $3 (1/4 hour)
- Enjoyment (priceless)

So technically I think he only owes you one hour, so you better make it 3:30.

Thank god we have a sense of humor.

Oh, and Mike Alden did call to apologize. Turns out he really was held up by a family emergency in Columbia. Whew! He did miraculously make it here in time for the Rams game, however. Such lucky timing.

a complete gobshite

2007-08-31T10:24:00.000-05:00

So the big event at my lovely place of employment I mentioned earlier took place last night. We were to have the Director of Athletics at Mizzou, the wonderful and oh-so-controversial Mike Alden, speak about the upcoming sports season at Mizzou, focusing on football of course. Just in time for the big (or at least they're trying to make it so) rivalry game between Mizzou and Illinois this weekend.

The event was to start at 5, Mike would speak from 5:30 to 6:30, then there would be a reception afterwards. Free food and drinks. Well 6 rolls around, and Mike Alden is nowhere to be found, or so pointed the evidence at the nametag table where his still sat at the top of the nicely laid out pile. I went upstairs to find out if maybe we missed him, but no, he's not there. Finally at 6:30 his 'posse' determines he's not coming due to a 'family emergency', and we make the announcement. Luckily his posse was able to fill in the best they could, and people had been imbibing for an hour and a half by that point, so no one was too upset.

I found this hilarious. Of course I felt bad for the guys who organized it, but come on - how funny is that? The worst thing that could possibly happen actually happened. The most was made of a bad situation, so I suppose that made it funnier. Nothing horrible occurred as a result, which perhaps would have made it more serious. I laughed on the inside of course. I know deep down I was meant not to work (grin), or at least not to work in the corporate world, so I don't love my job, but I do at least rely on the paycheck. Laughing out loud may have put an end to that.

Seriously though, what a dipshit. What an asshat. It takes two hours to drive here from Columbia, and that's without traffic. He should have informed us then, when he knew he had no chance of getting here. What moron waits until an hour and a half after the event is supposed to start to call in and cancel? Speculation has surfaced that he was going to the Rams game with his posse afterwards (a lot of folks in attendance were doing the same thing), perhaps was a bit late, and upon his arrival in St. Louis, decided to just go to the dome instead. May be complete shite. But it's worth a second thought.

Mike Alden is not very well liked in the first place. This probably cemented his bad image in lots of minds (well around forty, but who's counting?). Note to public speakers, guests of honors, jolly good fellows: if you're going to cancel out on an event, at least man up and do it with proper timing.

this may turn your stomach...

2007-08-29T11:06:00.000-05:00

How lovely. Tyson agreed to stop using carbon monoxide in its packaged meats. Hooray for Tyson!

Am I supposed to be glad about this? Instead of feeling glad I'm even more freaked out at the prospect of buying meat in a conventional grocery store. If companies are resorting to this type of thing, what else are they doing?

When food has to be shipped across the country (across the globe, in some cases...eek), companies resort to doing all they can to keep it fresh - or make it appear fresh. This is but one of the reasons I decided to only buy/consume meat if it comes from local farmers, not huge farm conglomerates like Tyson. Firstly, it comes straight from the animal to me, only traveling a hundred miles at most. Secondly, I am more apt to trust a local farmer on how he's raised and fed the animals than the factory farms, who are in this solely for the money, and as we see above, will literally do anything to increase the bottom line. Thirdly, it just plain tastes better, and I can be happy about supporting my local farmers.

Sheesh, though, I guess this could be considered a big step for Tyson. What's next? They stop shearing off chickens' beaks so they can't peck each other to death while crammed into small cages? They stop giving them feed found to contain arsenic, ammonia, and other chemicals? Wow. That's a whole lot to ask.

Man. Eating chicken is so not worth it.

guinness - magic ingredient

2007-08-27T14:53:00.000-05:00

I made Guinness ice cream this weekend. It's amazingly good. It's made with Guinness, of course, molasses, and the regular ice cream ingredients. Highly recommended. I was telling a guy here at work about it, and he said the best ice creams are made with molasses, and I believe it.

I got the recipe from this site. She used the ice cream in a float with Harp - aka a black and tan, only with Guinness ice cream as opposed to Guinness itself. I haven't tried this, but it also sounds delicious.

So we're up to two things I make with Guinness - beef roast and ice cream. Both are very good. Can cooking with Guinness be wrong, I wonder? I think not.

for we're a jolly good fellow...

2007-08-23T13:18:00.001-05:00

The hub-unit this morning called me to tell he he'd just realized the date - 8-23. Ten years ago today we had our first date. Or no, maybe it was ten years ago today that we first kissed. I say 'we', but really it was me planting myself on him. Probably by surprise, albeit a good surprise. Boy was shy. Yes, we kissed first before our first 'official' date. It was college. That kind of thing was commonplace. We went to see Money Talks with Chris Tucker. Again, it was college. You have to forgive the bad taste. I'm sure we hung out afterwards, but I don't remember that part. Sorry, honey - you know I have a bad memory. It's a miracle I even remember the movie.

I knew the big 10 was coming up. It's kind of mind boggling - like when you try to think about death, and your brain gets all murky and your head spins. I've been with the same person for ten years. I haven't been on a date with anyone else (well there was that one guy, but that didn't count, and the hub (boyfriend then) knew about it), haven't kissed anyone else (well, there was that one guy...just kidding! ha ha), haven't really even thought about anyone else in ten years. That's insane.

The best part is that it doesn't feel weird at all. In ten years we've had really only one big blowup fight, and that was barely a fight - we never yell and scream. We just get along so darn well. Best friends, really. I know, sick, stop, you're making us gag. I'm proud, that's all.

Here's to another ten! Maybe more, if the hub continues to behave himself.

no further commentary necessary

2007-08-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

Here's a great comment from R. L. White of the NAACP:

'White also said he didn't understand the uproar over dogfighting, when hunting deer and other animals is perfectly acceptable.'

He uttered these genius words while explaning why the NFL shouldn't ban Michael Vick. Dear readers, I will spare you my assesment of this comment. I won't insult your intelligence. I myself have never hunted in my life, and I understand the difference between hunting and dogfighting. So he can't use that excuse.

Throw that nasty dog abuser in jail, already.

a few reasons why I need to work for my damn self

2007-08-22T13:21:00.000-05:00

1. My work building has a gym in the basement. It's nice - I can work out during lunch, and when I bike, there's a shower for me to use. Without it, I wouldn't be able to bike (since I sweat more than a, I don't know, whatever sweats a ton). In order to shower I brought my own towel and bath things. Pretty standard. I keep my towel in a cubby in the gym after I'm done along with my shower items.

I went in to work out on Monday for the first time in ages (this seems to go in spurts) and found my towel hanging on a hook next to the shower. Not in my cubby where I'd stored it since the last time I biked (it's been a while - too god awful hot out there to do anything lately). What my sharp mind has been able to ascertain is that someone else has used/been using my towel. GROSS! Isn't that disgusting? I am not one to be easily grossed out. I do not wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom. I drink out of the milk jug and don't care if you do it too. I never use hand sanitizer, and will wear new clothes before they've been washed (this, however, excludes bras and drawers). But this is just too much. I'm shuddering now to think about it.

Unless it was the cute, buff new boy, that is. I surely can think of worse things. The towel will be taken home to be laundered, however, as I have no way to prove it was the cute new boy and not a haggard, elfish one. Touche.

2. We're having an event next week at work and I've been asked by my boss to send an email out to clients about it. The email invitation was sent to us by our marketing gal with some notes to the guys as to RSVPs, limits, etc. My boss, in typical fashion (instead of just doing it himself, which would be so much quicker), wrote out (in what can only be compared to chicken scratch, possibly even worse) the personal note he wants attached along with a list of clients. A waste of time, but whatever, he's the boss, right?

Ugh, I can't help sighing and rolling my eyes even as I type this. I get to the bottom of his note and there's instructions to send it from his address (duh) and to make sure and delete the advisor info from the marketing gal off of the invitation before I send it out. For the love of god. How dumb does he think I am? I swear, sometimes I wonder what's going through his head. Really, it makes me want to send it out with that info on it - from his address, of course. Shit.

This coming from the guy who can't even do the email himself - he has to write it out for me to type up. I can't decide whether to be mad or to laugh. It's that ridiculous.

so endearing

2007-08-16T15:41:00.000-05:00

Today I took my 'little' brother to lunch at Del Taco for yummalicious bean tacos, cheese quesadillas, and cheese fries (he needs to put on weight, okay?). He had on the cutest new pair of black lowtop Chuck Taylors. Here's the catch - they were on the wrong feet.

He's 12. And to be fair, it is kind of hard to tell the two shoes apart, but it really should only take a look or two to decide which is right and which is left.

I didn't tell him. I didn't have the heart. He's a proud little kid - I didn't want to embarrass him. Right or wrong? What would you have done?

sweet justice

2007-08-15T14:01:00.001-05:00

I saw something at lunch today that totally made my day. I went to Schnucks (after not finding onion soup mix at Wild Oats - grrr) on what could arguably be the hottest day of the year, walking to my car parked at the very back of the lot under a tree (this lot, unlike most in St. Louis, actually does have a tree or two). I see a big old nasty Mercedes SUV parked in the fire lane, and a cop pull up behind it and turn on his lights. The siren made a little blip - that's why I noticed it.

I finally made it to my car, hot and sweaty, feet sore from high heeled stilettos. I was pulling down the lane when I saw the cop finish up the ticket and walk towards the empty SUV. I was then lucky enough to see a woman hurry out of Schnucks towards the SUV clutching a bottle of water (side note - plastic). The cop handed her the ticket, and to her credit, she didn't appear to argue much, just took it and went. I gave the cop a round of applause (is it called that when you're alone?) and smiled bigger than life.

Why was she so special to get to park in the fire lane? Does she assume the rest of us like parking far away and hoofing it on a hot day? I went in there for one thing, just like her, but I did it the right way. Stinky bitch. First of all, you shouldn't park in the fire lane. But come on - if you're going to do it, don't be gone long enough for a cop to finish writing out a ticket. I've yet to encounter one who did it quickly. If you don't want to get out of your overpriced box on wheels, go through the McDonald's drive thru. I hear they've got a pool-sized soft drink for $.89 - what a value!

the lake

2007-07-13T10:19:00.000-05:00

The lake was a blast. CB & V joined us for the entire time (and also joined us in a near-death canoeing experience, which was something, let me tell you), and N8 & MT came down for a day or two. It was so wonderful and relaxing. I tell you, there's not much better than spending your entire day relaxing on the water, coming home and grilling, and sitting around playing games the rest of the night. I need that kind of life. All this traffic, and rushing around to be places on time is for the birds. Work? Who needs it? I find myself growing more and more intolerant of these things.

I know, I know, you're saying 'But Norma Jean, you have to work! It's a part of life. In order to get the good things later on you have to put your time in now.'

And to that I say oh hell no. I say this hustle and bustle just isn't worth it. Why should I spend a good chunk of my life working for someone else, at a place I don't really care about? I mean it's a great company, and they're all great people, but let's face it, it's just not all that interesting. Spending 8 hours a day taking orders from other people and doing work for other people is not all it's cracked up to be. Shocking, I know. Don't get me wrong. They give orders in the nicest of ways. I know I'm treated well, very well, and the perks are amazing. I definitely know and appreciate that.

I've just come to the conclusion that this type of work just isn't for me. I don't like it. I don't like having to be somewhere for 8 hours a day if I have 2 hours of work. It's ridiculous. It's the system. Not everyone can be trusted on the honors system, so we all have to suffer. Why should I be here for 8 hours a day with 2 hours of work and not be allowed to surf the internet (you can see how much merit I give to that rule)? What the hell am I supposed to do? I know, help others. Find out what I can do to help. The tricky part is that my bosses pay me, not the company. So if I help the company I'm doing work for them while my bosses pay the price. Blah. I'm sick of thinking about it, and I'm sure you're sick of reading about it. All I know is that soon I'm going to cross the threshold of inability to keep these thoughts to myself at work, of inability to act as though I'm happy and satisfied, and that I give a crap about what we're doing (mom, dad, and moo excepted, of course).

Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is that we had a blast at the cabin, and coming from a week of spending wonderful, relaxing, quality time with my loved ones to work really sucks.

off to the lake

2007-07-03T09:07:00.000-05:00

This afternoon we're off to our annual Fourth of July party at the cabin on Bull Shoals Lake. I've seriously been looking forward to this trip for months now. This year there are six of us going - the usual co-conspirators V & CB, and first-timers N8 & MT. My sis Cootie and her hubby might join us later on as we're going to be there through Sunday.

Doesn't it look amazing? It's the most gorgeous lake I've ever seen, which isn't saying much since I'm not a big lake fan. In fact I usually won't swim in a lake, but Bull Shoals is different. It's crystal clear, and clean, and refreshing. Not muddy at all.

So beginning tonight we'll be spending our days lounging on the lake, drinking beer, eating barbecue, and repeating. Delicious. And it'll be so great so share this with N8 & MT, who I'm sure will suffer 'lake addiction' once it's over just like the rest of us.

party like it's your birfday

2007-06-29T10:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday. Yes, the big 3-0. No, I don't feel any different (does anyone on any birthday?). My sisters and brother-in-law decided to fork my yard in the shape of a big '30' with an exclamation point, which was funny when I saw it the next morning. The neighbor kid across the street told Q the forks looked like graves. They did.

It was a nice day. I went to lunch with friends from work, got some nice gifts (including a gift cert to one of my favorite places, Square One), and, best of all, got to spend the afternoon/evening at the hospital while my sister underwent an emergency appendectomy. Karma for the forks/graves, perhaps?

I did get to go to dinner at a yummy Mexican place near the hospital and got a good margarita while we waited for her in recovery. So that was nice. It was funny - after she went to her room and was all drugged up and cottonmouth, balancing a barf tray on her chest, she said she wanted to hear about my birthday. I told her she was looking at it! Really though, I'm just glad she's okay. Word of warning - when your stomach feels like it's going to explode, go to the ER. It might be about to do just that.

As my mother said last night - at least it'll be a birthday I won't forget.

six years and beer

2007-06-25T09:58:00.000-05:00

On Saturday Q and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary in true 'us' style. Before eating dinner at Kobe Japanese Grill in Westport (a tradition as this is where we ate the night of our wedding, though it was Robata's then) we went to tour the O'Fallon Brewery.

O'Fallon is a small microbrewery in, you guessed it, O'Fallon, Missouri. It's actually a small pre-fab building buried in some industrial park off the highway. But when you walk in the first thing that hits you is the smell of brewing beer...possibly one of the best smells in the entire world. The tour is actually given by one of the co-owners, Fran. She and her husband own the brewery and call themselves co-owners - so cute.

Anyway, you actually get to see how the beer is made, though Q and I already know a lot about that from brewing our own. But it's cool to see how a small brewery does the same thing we do on a larger scale, but not as mammoth as Anheuser Busch. Plus we got to ask questions, taste the malt, see how they bottle, and sample each of their beers plus a few seasonal beers. Yum. I highly recommend the pumpkin beer when it's available in September. I don't usually like pumpkin beers, but this one is subtle. When the beer hits your tongue you taste a bit of pumpkin, then after you swallow you're left with cinnamon. Delicious. And we got to talk to one of the brewers who explained the process of making cask ale, and told us their cask ale is available at the Iron Barley, one of our favorite restaurants. I can't wait to try it.

It was a lot of fun. I highly recommend going there and doing the tour. The Anheuser tour is fun, of course, and it's cool to see some of the insides of a huge brewery, but this one is so neat because you have the opportunity to really see and understand how beer is made and actually talk to the people who make it.

the horror

2007-06-19T08:50:00.000-05:00

WARNING - IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BABEL, DON'T READ THIS - SPOILERS!!!

Q and I watched Babel last night. I was excited to see it, especially after it won so many awards. I should know better by now. What a horribly depressing and sad movie. It was well acted, I suppose, and well done, but crap - talk about getting smacked in the face left and right with sad. There wasn't a moment where I wasn't wondering what horrible thing was going to happen next, or that I could even sit and relax and watch the movie - I was tense the entire time.

I just don't find that enjoyable anymore. I don't handle very well movies that deal with such tragedy. To watch the Mexican woman in such pain over not being able to see the kids, kids she's probably had more of a hand in raising than their own parents, was borderline unbearable. I almost got up and walked out (of my own living room) during the scene in the police station. Not so bad on it's own, I suppose, but after she was forced to leave that adorable boy in tears and his sister half dead under a tree in the desert, it was too much.

And the little boy being killed in the desert. Shit. That was awful. I kept waiting for the police to shoot the youngest one as he surrendered. The movie did end on a somewhat positive note, I suppose, for the Asian and American families, but even so. Life for them will never be the same.

I think I have such a hard time with movies like this because they're so real. I somehow internalize what's happening, and it literally makes me sick to my stomach to imagine that happening to me or my loved ones. It's just too painful to watch. I wonder afterwards, why did I sit there for well over 2 hours feeling tense and depressed? I do that for 9 at work every day for the love. That's enough for me.

I know there's probably some deeper meaning that I missed, some political spin, but to be honest, I don't care to think about it any more than I already have. If only all movies could be as great as Knocked Up - oh Judd Apatow, how you've spoiled my movie and TV watching experiences.

my dad

2007-06-15T16:08:00.000-05:00

Sunday is Father's day. In the spirit of the times, I decided to write about a few of my favorite memories of my dad.

My dad was the sole bread winner in our family, which meant he worked a lot. So the times we shared with him were special. My mom dealt with us (my little sister and I) all day long, so pawning us off on Dad on his day off was a welcome change for her I'm sure. I remember Dad taking us (me and Cootie) to Wet Willy's, the coolest water slides of all time. The slides still exist (though are horribly run down) in Fenton, right at the intersection of 141 and 44, on that huge hill above the Steak 'n Shake. There were three slides (or two? I can't remember), and you went down them on a raft of some sort, and it was most fun to see how much weight you could pack on the raft to go as fast as possible. We'd go down, get out, run up the countless stairs, and repeat over and over until our little bodies couldn't take it anymore. We loved it.

Dad took us first to Naugles, the old taco joint (which I think has subsequently morphed into Del Taco, but I could be wrong), which seems now like a bad idea (tacos then waterslides?), but we loved it. Mom doesn't eat mexican, so for Cootie and I this was a special treat. Then we'd head down to the park, pay our money, and slide like banshees. We'd take turns going alone, or going with Dad, or just us girls. Cootie and I would go first, then wait excitedly at the bottom for Dad to fly out of the slide like a bullet into the pool below, always with a huge smile on his face. I remember Cootie and I being so excited about the prospect of spending the day with Dad. We always had fun.

Another favorite memory is waiting for Dad to come home from work. Cootie and I would hear the garage door open, and we'd take our usual places just behind the utility room (or junk room, as we called it) door and wait. Dad would close the garage door, come in through the heavy outside door, and we'd wait for him to emerge from the junk room then shout 'Surprise!' He acted surprised every time. Of course he knew we'd be there, but that didn't matter. His reaction kept us doing it time and time again. I remember so well the feel and smell of his trademark suits against my cheek whenever we hugged him afterwards.

My dad is a special guy, and I hope he has a great day on Sunday.

thoughts on plastic

2007-06-07T09:01:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of a sea turtle nearly cut in half by plastic. His body has literally grown around it. This is what's happening with our plastic products nowadays - they're wreaking havoc in the sea, on land, and everywhere, and not just to animals, but to us as well.

This is from a great article called 'Plastic Ocean' in Best Life Magazine. Plastic never goes away. Every ounce we manufacture is here to stay. And recycling doesn't even help much since only 3%-5% of plastic is ever recycled, and it's actually much cheaper to make new than to recycle it, and everyone knows our big companies are out to make a buck and not to worry about how they might impact the world.

And there's no telling how it effects our food and our bodies. Studies have linked it to cancer (I know, like everything else, even delicious barbecue char) and even the obesity epidemic. Scary.

So read this article and think about it when you're out shopping. When you make your next purchase take it without a bag. Even more importantly, think about it at the grocery. Think about all the foods that come packaged in plastic, and about what alternatives might exist. Think about the environmental footprint you want to leave behind. Get your produce without the plastic bag. Opt for paper at the check out line. It's actually easy to find products packaged without plastic if you take an extra minute to look, and I think you'll find these products usually are of better quality and taste better. It's worth spending an extra quarter or so.

Also consider what you put into your trash can. Could it someday cause a world of pain and suffering to an animal? Take the time to cut your milk rings, or six-pack rings. One thoughtless toss into the can could change the life of an animal forever. Or in the case of the ocean, can produce more plastic than plankton for the fish to eat. If we're all a tiny bit more aware of how our actions can impact the entire world it'd make a ton of difference.

I'll leave you with this last picture, taken by Gregg Segal, a man who has dedicated his life to spreading the word about what we're doing to our oceans and animals. Our seabirds are eating things like lighters, tampon applicators, and bottle caps, and each and every one of us is partly to blame.

a very long year and a half

2007-06-04T13:00:00.000-05:00

CNN apparently has changed their site to include a banner that says 'CNN ELECTION CENTER 2008' across the top. Are they seriously going to leave that up for a year and a half? That's ridiculous. Talk about extreme overkill. I'll probably have to change my homepage now. It'll annoy me too much.

Q and I went to the Tower Grove Farmers' Market on Saturday. We got some yummy bratwursts and pork steaks. They were more than we'd spend at the store (if we actually bought meat at the store), but it was well worth it. Not only are we getting good quality, hormone free meat, but it's raised by local farmers. A win-win situation. They had lots of other great things too, like cheese, lots of different lettuces, and even bison. Very cool. We're definitely going to go back. And the new grocery store, Local Harvest, opens up on Friday, so I can't wait to go.

We also made another batch of beer, this time an English brown ale. It'll be ready just in time for our annual trip to the lake over the fourth. It's bubbling away, which it did with the second batch but not so much with the first, so here's to hoping it turns out good. I'm sure it will. Now if July 3rd would just hurry up and get here, that'd be great. A whole 4 days at the lake, not including drive time. Fantastic.