A friend of mine told me she's going to a 1st birthday party for the child of a friend of hers this weekend. The parents created a gift registry at Target for the party, so she had to go to Target to get a present.
I was horrified. A gift registry for a 1st birthday party? I shudder to think of the floodgates that'll open if this sort of thing becomes acceptable. Why deal with a registry? Why not type out a gift list and send it along with the invitation? Or better yet, just include a little index card telling guests exactly what to get. Ridiculous.
Whatever happened to surprises? Or just getting together to celebrate with friends and family? Sheesh. That's nervy, if you ask me. Telling people what to buy your kid, or that you have to buy them anything at all. I'm getting so sick of registries in general. I find myself ignoring them completely. That's not to say I go and pick out some random kitchen gadget or weirdo colored towels. I get gift cards, or cookbooks, or other interesting items. Registries just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
I'm guilty of having one. I'll admit that. I had a registry for my wedding 5 years ago. We registered at JC Penny and Target. We asked for silverware, plates, towels, bedsheets, and simple things like that to replace the crap we still had from college. I can't tell you how many registries I see with MP3 players, video cameras, TVs, and the like. It's gotten out of control. I thought weddings are about starting a life together and gifts are supposed to be about helping the couple get set up with the basics.
I told my friend I'd refuse to buy off a registry for a 1st birthday party. Heck, I won't even buy my sister a shower/wedding gift from her registry. She checks it all the time! Where's the fun in that?
Wow. I sound like a grouchy old lady. I think I need a vacation. Good thing I'm going to an out of town wedding this weekend - gift card in tow, no doubt.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
who you calling irrational?
It's been a crazy week. I'm actually busy all day long at work. They've got some nerve. That leaves basically no time for blogging during work, and since I'm on the computer all day, I want no part of it at night.
So today I have a free minute, since the boss left to go out of town. We were discussing irrational fears this morning. Odd, yes, since I work at a financial firm. But we often discuss odd things. Anyway, he was reading somewhere that the top 3 fears of whatever sort of population was surveyed are 1. plane crash, 2. shark attack, and 3. being murdered. Interesting, huh? Turns out the top four ways to die are caused by 1. smoking, 2. poor diet, 3. inactivity, and 4. excessive drinking.
I'm not really afraid of dying. If I get eaten by a shark, so be it. At least it's an interesting way to die. I do seem to have an irrational fear of falling down the stairs. Not just stumbling, but all out face diving from the top stair. Maybe it's high heels. Maybe it's because I did that once, and luckily only scraped my legs and hands. No broken bones. Maybe it's like post-traumatic stress disorder. I don't know.
The funny thing is it's probably some lazy fool sitting on his couch munching on popcorn and wings and guzzling alcohol all day long that's afraid of being eaten by a shark. Now that's irrational.
So today I have a free minute, since the boss left to go out of town. We were discussing irrational fears this morning. Odd, yes, since I work at a financial firm. But we often discuss odd things. Anyway, he was reading somewhere that the top 3 fears of whatever sort of population was surveyed are 1. plane crash, 2. shark attack, and 3. being murdered. Interesting, huh? Turns out the top four ways to die are caused by 1. smoking, 2. poor diet, 3. inactivity, and 4. excessive drinking.
I'm not really afraid of dying. If I get eaten by a shark, so be it. At least it's an interesting way to die. I do seem to have an irrational fear of falling down the stairs. Not just stumbling, but all out face diving from the top stair. Maybe it's high heels. Maybe it's because I did that once, and luckily only scraped my legs and hands. No broken bones. Maybe it's like post-traumatic stress disorder. I don't know.
The funny thing is it's probably some lazy fool sitting on his couch munching on popcorn and wings and guzzling alcohol all day long that's afraid of being eaten by a shark. Now that's irrational.
Friday, September 22, 2006
a friday ha ha
Provided (shockingly) by Q -
FART FOOTBALL................
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replies, 'It's fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.'
FART FOOTBALL................
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replies, 'It's fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.'
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
peeing, camping, and reminiscing
Last night during the biweekly meeting of my writer's group we got on the subject of peeing in public (it made sense in the context - really it did). I remembered the first time I peed outside. I was a sophomore in college. A group of us decided to illegally camp at a nearby park known for it's amazing river bluffs. We got the necessary supplies (beer, pot, tent) and piled into a friend's Saab - I'm talking at least 7 of us in this car. We got to the park after dark, and had to weave our way up and through the craggy bluffs to the riverbed, where we set up camp. Halfway through the bluffs we heard a park ranger following and yelling at us, so we decided to run at full speed with the gear to escape. It worked. I'm not sure why he didn't follow us all the way, but somehow we lucked out.
I'd been camping only once before, with my date after our junior prom. Just the two of us. I guess my parents must have trusted him, or me, or both. That was before my major shenanigans, so I guess they had reason to trust me. And they should have trusted him/me - we didn't do anything at all except talk and sleep. He was a good boy. Anyway, there were bathrooms, so no need to pee outside.
There were no bathrooms at this park, however, since no camping was allowed. I remember the girls huddling up and wandering away from camp to pee. It's not so weird for girls to pee together, especially those that grew up with sisters. Had there been a guy with us, I probably wouldn't have done it. Too embarrassing.
That was a great night, up until the sleeping part. We all crammed into one tent, and it was chilly. I got stuck all the way at the edge of the tent, and basically had my head shoved into the side, and got to inhale plastic all night. Not fun. No egg crate mattresses, no sleeping bags.
It's a great memory, though, one of MANY from my college days. Then I remembered that two of the people there that night are both dead now. One, the owner of the Saab, was actually killed in that very Saab by a drunk driver just after college. The other, Shorty, took her own life last year.
Death is still so weird to me, when it's someone young. I can remember both of their faces clear as day. I remember their voices, their laughs, their eyes when they laughed. How can they be gone? Where are they? It's one of those mind fucks, like trying to imagine life after death - spending an eternity in a box in the ground. Very creepy and black-hole-ish.
It's especially hard when both were people I loved very much. I had a huge crush on the guy, and he was a good friend. He was probably one of the nicest, most carefree people I've ever met. And of course I loved Shorty. She was a huge part of my life, and most of my memories from either high school or college can't be separated from her. I hope maybe they've found each other somewhere. I know Shorty always had a crush on him too, even while dating his best friend. That would be perfect.
I'd been camping only once before, with my date after our junior prom. Just the two of us. I guess my parents must have trusted him, or me, or both. That was before my major shenanigans, so I guess they had reason to trust me. And they should have trusted him/me - we didn't do anything at all except talk and sleep. He was a good boy. Anyway, there were bathrooms, so no need to pee outside.
There were no bathrooms at this park, however, since no camping was allowed. I remember the girls huddling up and wandering away from camp to pee. It's not so weird for girls to pee together, especially those that grew up with sisters. Had there been a guy with us, I probably wouldn't have done it. Too embarrassing.
That was a great night, up until the sleeping part. We all crammed into one tent, and it was chilly. I got stuck all the way at the edge of the tent, and basically had my head shoved into the side, and got to inhale plastic all night. Not fun. No egg crate mattresses, no sleeping bags.
It's a great memory, though, one of MANY from my college days. Then I remembered that two of the people there that night are both dead now. One, the owner of the Saab, was actually killed in that very Saab by a drunk driver just after college. The other, Shorty, took her own life last year.
Death is still so weird to me, when it's someone young. I can remember both of their faces clear as day. I remember their voices, their laughs, their eyes when they laughed. How can they be gone? Where are they? It's one of those mind fucks, like trying to imagine life after death - spending an eternity in a box in the ground. Very creepy and black-hole-ish.
It's especially hard when both were people I loved very much. I had a huge crush on the guy, and he was a good friend. He was probably one of the nicest, most carefree people I've ever met. And of course I loved Shorty. She was a huge part of my life, and most of my memories from either high school or college can't be separated from her. I hope maybe they've found each other somewhere. I know Shorty always had a crush on him too, even while dating his best friend. That would be perfect.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
to the moon!
A few days ago I read this headline:
Lawmaker Proposes Shooting Madonna Into Space
I opened it up, excitedly assuming this 'lawmaker' wanted to shoot her into space to rid the world of her forever. I was sorely disappointed. Turns out someone in Russia is lobbying for her to be a 'space tourist', hoping the media time that would undoubtedly be spent on this would be a good thing for both Russian and American elections in 2008.
I'm on board with sending her into space. But permanently. Just think - no more 'kabbalah this', or 'Lourdes that', or 'my husband doesn't like my music', or having to read about how she continually craps on the Catholic Church in an effort, I suppose, to regain some of the controversy that helped launch her career in the first place.
We get it, Madonna. You're trying, again, to be edgy and dramatic. Unfortunately it ends up being more pathetic than anything. Come to think of it, maybe this trip into space is just the thing your career needs.
Lawmaker Proposes Shooting Madonna Into Space
I opened it up, excitedly assuming this 'lawmaker' wanted to shoot her into space to rid the world of her forever. I was sorely disappointed. Turns out someone in Russia is lobbying for her to be a 'space tourist', hoping the media time that would undoubtedly be spent on this would be a good thing for both Russian and American elections in 2008.
I'm on board with sending her into space. But permanently. Just think - no more 'kabbalah this', or 'Lourdes that', or 'my husband doesn't like my music', or having to read about how she continually craps on the Catholic Church in an effort, I suppose, to regain some of the controversy that helped launch her career in the first place.
We get it, Madonna. You're trying, again, to be edgy and dramatic. Unfortunately it ends up being more pathetic than anything. Come to think of it, maybe this trip into space is just the thing your career needs.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
365 days
I've officially been blogging for a year. By 'blogging' I mean dumping the contents of my brain for others to read and enjoy, and sometimes maybe even laugh at. Hopefully I haven't pissed anyone off, but if so, grow some thicker skin, folks. I'm just a dorky girl writing an even dorkier blog. You can't be offended by anything I say. Seriously.
I'm gonna keep trucking along. There's just too darn much crazy shit in this world to be ignored. Here's to another fucked up year!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
that big ol' Tony Little
Back in June Q and I got new pillows for our birthdays from his parents. This is the pillow:
It's a Homedics pillow apparently designed and marketed by Tony Little, the crazy long-haired exercise guru. It's odd, yes, but I'm game to try just about anything. At first, we used it with the long chamber at the top of our heads. It was just a guess. I didn't see an instruction manual. Or maybe didn't look for one, since it's a PILLOW.
It wasn't all that great. I kept using it, but Q gave up. I finally figured out it was backwards one day by mistake. It had flipped itself around somehow (it's magical like that). It was a totally different sleeping experience. Now I'm hooked. I don't have neck problems anymore. I used to get a stiff neck at least once a month. No more! It's like my own little chiropractor.
There's definitely something to this pillow. I don't know if it's the micropedic beads or the fancy chambers, but it's there. No more tossing and turning, and it's even comfortable whilst laying on my stomach. This little pillow has somehow made our cheap-ass saggy matress comfortable. It's a miracle worker.
And besides, this guy says it works. How can I argue with that?
It's a Homedics pillow apparently designed and marketed by Tony Little, the crazy long-haired exercise guru. It's odd, yes, but I'm game to try just about anything. At first, we used it with the long chamber at the top of our heads. It was just a guess. I didn't see an instruction manual. Or maybe didn't look for one, since it's a PILLOW.
It wasn't all that great. I kept using it, but Q gave up. I finally figured out it was backwards one day by mistake. It had flipped itself around somehow (it's magical like that). It was a totally different sleeping experience. Now I'm hooked. I don't have neck problems anymore. I used to get a stiff neck at least once a month. No more! It's like my own little chiropractor.
There's definitely something to this pillow. I don't know if it's the micropedic beads or the fancy chambers, but it's there. No more tossing and turning, and it's even comfortable whilst laying on my stomach. This little pillow has somehow made our cheap-ass saggy matress comfortable. It's a miracle worker.
And besides, this guy says it works. How can I argue with that?
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Savvis Center...or Scottrade Center???
Wow. That's insane. As some of you may know, I used to be a minion of Scottrade, Inc. Now they've bought the freaking naming rights to the old Savvis Center! That's so fucked up. A company that won't go public instead chooses to spend it's money naming an arena. Something is so wrong about that.
I was just talking about this shithole this afternoon while enjoying a beer (or two) on the company dime. My boss and I decided that if the company was going to make us do a performance review on me, we should ditch out for the afternoon and drink beer. It gave us an opportunity to discuss our working relationship (while trading dirt about others in the company - we're two peas in a pod, really), which is always entertaining, being as I came from a company fully ingrained in Nazi practices.
One of the questions on my review had to do with punctuality. I'm always there at least a few minutes early, so this wasn't even remotely a problem. My boss, however, is completely not concerned with this issue. He doesn't give two shits whether I'm there on time, as long as I'm getting my work done. It makes sense, in an adult-like world. Unfortunately, Scottrade has no idea what it's like to function in an adult-like world. I remember having to clock in and out on our computers, and seriously getting in trouble if we were a minute late. I'm not exaggerating. A minute. It was completely absurd.
The best was when we moved to a new building (the current location at Manchester and 270) and took over the cafeteria. Management decided we should eat there, to patronize part of the company. We were allowed to order in from other companies, but we were told to restrict this activity to once a week. Blood Ray, my former cube mate, thought this was hilarious, and made it his goal to order out as often as possible. Being that we didn't get a lunch hour and were forced to eat at our desks amidst phone calls from morons at branch offices, it did seem a bit much to have to eat at the overpriced, gross cafeteria. I think for both Blood Ray and I it was one of the final straws on the proverbial camel's back.
Anyway, I had to laugh at the whole situation. I wonder if they're going to throw some massive party about the whole thing. They probably will, but only for the big wigs, not for the poor bastards doing all the work behind the scenes, earning Roger Riney all of his money. Bleh.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Q bought me the prettiest little road bike this past weekend. Isn't he the best? We got it at a neat-o bike shop in the city, right near the Botanical Gardens. It's called Bicycle Works. It's a non-profit organization that teaches kids all about the mechanics of bikes, as well as bike safety. Once a child has completed the class, he gets a free bike, as well as a helmet. Pretty cool. They also take donations, refurbish the donated bikes, and sell them to the general public. Since I know nothing about bikes except that I hate my old mountain bike (purchased for cheap at Target) and wanted a nifty road bike, I figured I'd try this place so I wouldn't end up spending a fortune. I didn't really expect to find anything. Q and I went there on Saturday and looked around the very small shop teeming with youngsters fixing up bikes, and saw the one pictured above. I liked its style. I don't like girl bikes at all (why do guys bikes have a bar straight across and girls don't? shouldn't it be the other way around?), but this one is kind of a combo. It's an old, french bike - a Motobecane - that's been modified a bit. It was actually being held for another woman, but since she hadn't been back in a couple of weeks, they gave it to me. My lucky day!
I love it. Not only do I look dandy, but I have to expend about half the energy to make it go as fast as my mountain bike did. I zip right along. It's not so comfy on bumps, but as long as I stick to a trail or road, it's fine. If you want a bike, check this place out. They've got all sorts of frames, as well as normal bikes, and vintage bikes. It's really cool. You just might find what you're looking for, and spend a lot less! Plus you're helping out the kiddies.
Monday, September 04, 2006
life's little ironies
So is it creepier that Steve Irwin, aka the Crocodile Hunter, died by a stingray, or Timothy Treadwell, aka the Grizzly Man, died by a grizzly bear? I can't decide. On one hand, the Crocodile Hunter worked with a lot of dangerous animals. It makes sense that any of them could kill him. The Grizzly Man, worked solely with grizzlies. Not worked with them so much as lived among them. If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. It's very disturbing, among other things.
Is it ironic that a man known for wrestling angry crocs meets his doom at the barb of a stingray? Or is it nature's cruel way? Let's face it - they guy tempted fate. Many, many times. It seems fate stuck its dirty knife right in his heart.
I'm not being insensitive. I'm sure he didn't deserve to die young. I'm sure he was a fine, fine human being. But if you live a life chock full o' risk, it's gonna beat down your door eventually.
Back to the Grizzly Man. That was one creepy dude. I'm convinced he was gay, and in an effort to suppress this deep inside himself (he wasn't the most stable guy), he found 'acceptance' among the grizzlies. Of all creatures! Why not seals? Or some other prominent, yet more docile, Alaskan animal? Shit. He lived with the grizzlies for something like thirteen years. His time was well overdue. The nut even tried to change the course of nature once so the grizzlies wouldn't starve to death and eat their young - he tried to divert a shallower-than-normal river (due to a lack of rainfall) so the salmon could make their way upstream and the grizzlies would have enough to eat. Once he found out Mother Nature wasn't so easy to fool, he went back to his tent and did a little 'rain prayer' - though it was much more like a rain freak out - and it rained. What a fucking weirdo.
The best part of the whole movie (he taped himself a lot out there) was when he taped himself doing a little recap of one of the summers he spent out there. He did a couple of takes, then freaked the fuck out, calling out the park rangers, cursing them and the residents of the nearby town left and right. It went on for a good five minutes. He was only 'protecting' the bears. As if grizzlies need protecting. They will tear your ass up. Then he took a deep breath, and did another take of the recap. Hilarious. There was another time when he was SURE some local hunters were out to maim him (he was a bit of a celebrity in the neighboring towns - or a local nutjob). Someone left a rock with 'grizzly man' on it and a smiley face. He was convinced they were threatening him, and he freaked out (he did that a lot) and got all paranoid. If he wasn't in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness, I'd say he was high on PCP the entire time. I swear.
He actually had the camera running when a bear mauled and killed both himself and his 'girlfriend' (who, coincidentally, was afraid of grizzlies). The lens cap was on, but all the sound was captured. Can you imagine hearing that? The guy who made the documentary listened to it on camera...he couldn't finish it. It was that horrifying. It made my stomach turn just watching him listen to it. Completely gutwrenching.
Is it ironic that a man known for wrestling angry crocs meets his doom at the barb of a stingray? Or is it nature's cruel way? Let's face it - they guy tempted fate. Many, many times. It seems fate stuck its dirty knife right in his heart.
I'm not being insensitive. I'm sure he didn't deserve to die young. I'm sure he was a fine, fine human being. But if you live a life chock full o' risk, it's gonna beat down your door eventually.
Back to the Grizzly Man. That was one creepy dude. I'm convinced he was gay, and in an effort to suppress this deep inside himself (he wasn't the most stable guy), he found 'acceptance' among the grizzlies. Of all creatures! Why not seals? Or some other prominent, yet more docile, Alaskan animal? Shit. He lived with the grizzlies for something like thirteen years. His time was well overdue. The nut even tried to change the course of nature once so the grizzlies wouldn't starve to death and eat their young - he tried to divert a shallower-than-normal river (due to a lack of rainfall) so the salmon could make their way upstream and the grizzlies would have enough to eat. Once he found out Mother Nature wasn't so easy to fool, he went back to his tent and did a little 'rain prayer' - though it was much more like a rain freak out - and it rained. What a fucking weirdo.
The best part of the whole movie (he taped himself a lot out there) was when he taped himself doing a little recap of one of the summers he spent out there. He did a couple of takes, then freaked the fuck out, calling out the park rangers, cursing them and the residents of the nearby town left and right. It went on for a good five minutes. He was only 'protecting' the bears. As if grizzlies need protecting. They will tear your ass up. Then he took a deep breath, and did another take of the recap. Hilarious. There was another time when he was SURE some local hunters were out to maim him (he was a bit of a celebrity in the neighboring towns - or a local nutjob). Someone left a rock with 'grizzly man' on it and a smiley face. He was convinced they were threatening him, and he freaked out (he did that a lot) and got all paranoid. If he wasn't in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness, I'd say he was high on PCP the entire time. I swear.
He actually had the camera running when a bear mauled and killed both himself and his 'girlfriend' (who, coincidentally, was afraid of grizzlies). The lens cap was on, but all the sound was captured. Can you imagine hearing that? The guy who made the documentary listened to it on camera...he couldn't finish it. It was that horrifying. It made my stomach turn just watching him listen to it. Completely gutwrenching.
Seriously, though, I felt totally sad for this guy. He was a sad, sad man. He just couldn't figure out what to do with his life, and found solace in the weirdest place ever, with the weirdest companions. I also felt horrible when they shot the bear that killed him. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted that in a million years. As crazy as he was, he knew the entire time he was in danger. I think, anyway, until he got so delusional he thought he was a bear. It's true. He did.
Anyway, the moral of the story is to leave Mother Nature the fuck alone. It's wonderful to admire animals and plants and what not - but let them be. She will kick your ass in the end.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
shortest boy in the world?
The boy above claims to be the smallest in the world, and is awaiting word from the Guinness Book of World Records to verify the information. This is crazy - he's 14 years old, weighs 10 pounds, and stands 20 inches tall.
To put that into perspective - my friend's baby (see below) weighed almost 7 pounds and was 19 inches long. Whooo - that makes my head hurt. It'd be like seeing a small infant up and walking around. That'll stop traffic.
I wonder what type of affliction he has. He looks like a little elf. Bad, NJ, bad (slapping self on wrist). He does though. He's being dwarfed by a three-year old.
big ol' cutie
My best friend since the fourth grade - yes, fourth - had a baby last Friday. Check him out - he's adorable! Adorable, yet scary - I'm now part of a dwindling group still without a baby. And thankful for it - at least until I see cutie-pie pictures like this one. What a face!
Monday, August 28, 2006
tell me...
In the past few days I've seen two t-shirts with the same image on them. It's a plant of some sort, with five leaves - two on the bottom and two above them, with a stem in the middle, and a leaf on top. The top right hand leaf is a different color - red on the last shirt I saw, and possibly red on the first. What the hell is this? It's driving me crazy. I'd include an image, but if I could find it, I wouldn't need to post this. Help!
creepy neighbors
It's nice to learn something new about your neighbors. Unless that something is that they'll turn their back on you in your time of need.
Poor Chay is having some skin issues. We have no idea what is wrong with her, other than that it's not fleas. Q and I were at Petsmart getting her food when we decided to look at shampoos, thinking maybe bathing her in a medicated-type of shampoo might be helpful. We opted for one with oatmeal that said it helps hydrate the skin and coat. It cost $8, but it's no surprise - we know Petsmart is overpriced. Target, unfortunately, doesn't carry her food. Darn Target. Anyway, we bathed her in the backyard (we're south side hoosiers, remember?), then I took her on a power walk around the neighborhood, half to dry her off and half to help rehabilitate my foot. The doc said walking briskly/running would help to restore full movement of my big toe.
So, we're almost home when we walk by a neighbor's house, a few houses away. All I know about these folks is they did have two gorgeous rottweilers, then apparently traded them in for a gorgeous, brindled boxer. Very cute. They have a huge, fenced-in yard that runs right along the street (no sidewalks). I reined in Chay - we walk past dogs all the time, and though she is merely curious, usually they're barking frantically, and I try my best to avoid riling them up further. We walked past the house to the next house, where a dude (at this point, anyway) was getting out of his car, and going inside his gate - he had a chain link fence running all the way around his yard, even the front.
Suddenly, something seems amiss. I turn around, and there's the boxer, quickly closing in on us, his nose headed straight for Chay's toosh. As usual. Dogs are so...forward. This has happened before, with no major incidents, with other dogs. This one seems friendly enough. It's basically sniffing Chay, and she's doing the same. Alright, whatever. Usually, I shoo the dog away, and keep walking, and everything turns out fine. This one won't give up, however. I look over at the dude, and he's standing inside his fence watching us. The dog, being a boxer, begins to box Chay playfully in the face. Chay, however, is not amused. She growls. I figure this is getting out of hand, so I turn again to the neighbor, thinking he's about to come help me. That he's about to do what any normal person would do. He's still watching, however, and slowly making his way towards his house. I'm outraged. Someone drives by, sees the commotion, and calls out 'He belongs to that white house right there!'. Great, dipshit. That information doesn't help me AT ALL, and won't be of any use when my dog rips out the other's throat, or vice versa.
Finally I drag Chay (and the other one attached to her ass) towards the dude's house. He's going to help me whether he likes it or not. As I get closer, I notice he's wearing a St. Louis Zoo polo...the kind employees wear. I log this information for later. I ask him if I can put Chay in his fence while I drag the other one up to its house. He says nothing. He doesn't nix the idea, however, so I move on it. I get Chay securely in his fence and turn around to walk the other one home. The other one is already in motion towards its fence - it slips in the corner from whence it escaped as quickly as it approached us earlier. It did it with such swiftness and ease that I can only figure it does this all the time. Great.
I make sure it's not coming out again and go to retrieve Chayla. I open the dude's fence, thanking him profusely, and grab Chay's leash which is on the ground by the dude's foot. We walk out and continue on our way. Nary a word escaped from his lips during the entire episode.
SO CREEPY! That dog could have bit Chay, or me, for that matter. Or Chay could have bit it. Not good. And meanwhile, some goodfornothing employee of THE ZOO stood by and watched. I was dumbfounded. Seriously. What a complete dumbass. He probably scoops elephant poop.
Worse, though, are the morons who can't keep their dog inside of a fence. Maybe they don't know. I highly doubt that, as the dog moved in and out with complete ease and cunning. I'm halfway tempted to put a note on their door 'alerting' them of the problem. It's not fair that I can't take my dog for a leisurely walk without being harassed by other dogs. I've had dogs burst through screen doors, leap over fences, and escape through slats/broken fences to harass us. Chay is the most unassuming dog. She doesn't even bark. Why her? Does this happen to other people? It's maddening to be responsible about my dog while others are morons. What if these dogs aren't immunized as they should be? I pity the fool who might find himself in that situation with me. He's going DOWN.
Poor Chay is having some skin issues. We have no idea what is wrong with her, other than that it's not fleas. Q and I were at Petsmart getting her food when we decided to look at shampoos, thinking maybe bathing her in a medicated-type of shampoo might be helpful. We opted for one with oatmeal that said it helps hydrate the skin and coat. It cost $8, but it's no surprise - we know Petsmart is overpriced. Target, unfortunately, doesn't carry her food. Darn Target. Anyway, we bathed her in the backyard (we're south side hoosiers, remember?), then I took her on a power walk around the neighborhood, half to dry her off and half to help rehabilitate my foot. The doc said walking briskly/running would help to restore full movement of my big toe.
So, we're almost home when we walk by a neighbor's house, a few houses away. All I know about these folks is they did have two gorgeous rottweilers, then apparently traded them in for a gorgeous, brindled boxer. Very cute. They have a huge, fenced-in yard that runs right along the street (no sidewalks). I reined in Chay - we walk past dogs all the time, and though she is merely curious, usually they're barking frantically, and I try my best to avoid riling them up further. We walked past the house to the next house, where a dude (at this point, anyway) was getting out of his car, and going inside his gate - he had a chain link fence running all the way around his yard, even the front.
Suddenly, something seems amiss. I turn around, and there's the boxer, quickly closing in on us, his nose headed straight for Chay's toosh. As usual. Dogs are so...forward. This has happened before, with no major incidents, with other dogs. This one seems friendly enough. It's basically sniffing Chay, and she's doing the same. Alright, whatever. Usually, I shoo the dog away, and keep walking, and everything turns out fine. This one won't give up, however. I look over at the dude, and he's standing inside his fence watching us. The dog, being a boxer, begins to box Chay playfully in the face. Chay, however, is not amused. She growls. I figure this is getting out of hand, so I turn again to the neighbor, thinking he's about to come help me. That he's about to do what any normal person would do. He's still watching, however, and slowly making his way towards his house. I'm outraged. Someone drives by, sees the commotion, and calls out 'He belongs to that white house right there!'. Great, dipshit. That information doesn't help me AT ALL, and won't be of any use when my dog rips out the other's throat, or vice versa.
Finally I drag Chay (and the other one attached to her ass) towards the dude's house. He's going to help me whether he likes it or not. As I get closer, I notice he's wearing a St. Louis Zoo polo...the kind employees wear. I log this information for later. I ask him if I can put Chay in his fence while I drag the other one up to its house. He says nothing. He doesn't nix the idea, however, so I move on it. I get Chay securely in his fence and turn around to walk the other one home. The other one is already in motion towards its fence - it slips in the corner from whence it escaped as quickly as it approached us earlier. It did it with such swiftness and ease that I can only figure it does this all the time. Great.
I make sure it's not coming out again and go to retrieve Chayla. I open the dude's fence, thanking him profusely, and grab Chay's leash which is on the ground by the dude's foot. We walk out and continue on our way. Nary a word escaped from his lips during the entire episode.
SO CREEPY! That dog could have bit Chay, or me, for that matter. Or Chay could have bit it. Not good. And meanwhile, some goodfornothing employee of THE ZOO stood by and watched. I was dumbfounded. Seriously. What a complete dumbass. He probably scoops elephant poop.
Worse, though, are the morons who can't keep their dog inside of a fence. Maybe they don't know. I highly doubt that, as the dog moved in and out with complete ease and cunning. I'm halfway tempted to put a note on their door 'alerting' them of the problem. It's not fair that I can't take my dog for a leisurely walk without being harassed by other dogs. I've had dogs burst through screen doors, leap over fences, and escape through slats/broken fences to harass us. Chay is the most unassuming dog. She doesn't even bark. Why her? Does this happen to other people? It's maddening to be responsible about my dog while others are morons. What if these dogs aren't immunized as they should be? I pity the fool who might find himself in that situation with me. He's going DOWN.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
for serious...
These little goodies are from craigslist.com. Better act now! They might not last!
_____________________________
job offer NOTHING "sexual" u keep clothes on $150-$200 a month
i am seeking someone who can help me with a serious medical problem that i have... its both a physical/mental problem.. it is serious and NOTHING to laugh at.......... this is rather hard for me to say this---- i have a problem with touching myself and abusing myself.. i am a Chronic or a Habitual masturbator. i have a chastity belt BUT i need for someone to hold the keys for 1 month at a time... hopefully in time longer so that i can stop this nasty habit i have. I AM NOT!!!!! I AM NOT LOOKING FOR SEX...... OR ANYTHING THATS "SEXUAL"..... i have a real serious medical problem-- it is both a physical and a mental problem that i have. I WANT TO STOP, because it is causing me to be down and depressed.. $150. a month to hold the key for me and $200 a month if you massage my prostate so thats it remains healthy.. again NOTHING "sexual" from you you can leave your clothes on to massage the prostate--- if its NOT done its possible that i can get prostate cancer
Compensation: $150.00-$200.00 a month
______________________________
Topless maid
My wife wants a maid to do some weekly cleaning around the house. I don't want to pay for a maid. So we agreed that she could have someone come clean the house once a week if the person will do it topless. The cleaning would include windows, 2 full bathrooms, vacuuming and cleaning kitchen floor of a 2000 sq ft house. If you are interested please respond with your price and a picture. We are looking for someone that is attractive and has a nice body. So please include a topless picture and one of your ass in a thong. The other thing is that she gets to pic the person but I have veto power.
Compensation: name your price
______________________________
I want to watcha couple
looking for Wednesday night
______________________________
Spandex leggings model=100/hr
Hello... I am a 27 year old business professional who works very hard and tries to enjoy what little downtime I have. I have a fascination with girls wearing cotton spandex leggings and shorts and am willing to offer 100 dollars per hour for a private modelling session. There will be ABSOLUTELY NO Nudity and NO S ex of any kind during this session. I want to be clear on that. All I am looking to do is feel your butt and legs during the session while you model your different pairs for me... You will be paid before any modelling is done. Here is exactly who I am looking for.... A NON professional meaning that someone who mostly does not do these things for a living.. Someone who is mostly a girl next door type and needs to have the money to pay her bills. A waitress, secretary, college student, etc. I also would like the person to feel comfortable with this and we will exchange some emails beforehand to ease any anxiety. Don't be shy to answer this if you feel intimidated or if you have never done this before.. It is a safe and comfortable way to make some extra money and you could be exactly what I am looking for.. Please email me your photo and description and situation and any other questions you may have.... Thank you.
Compensation: 100 dollars per hour
_____________________________
job offer NOTHING "sexual" u keep clothes on $150-$200 a month
i am seeking someone who can help me with a serious medical problem that i have... its both a physical/mental problem.. it is serious and NOTHING to laugh at.......... this is rather hard for me to say this---- i have a problem with touching myself and abusing myself.. i am a Chronic or a Habitual masturbator. i have a chastity belt BUT i need for someone to hold the keys for 1 month at a time... hopefully in time longer so that i can stop this nasty habit i have. I AM NOT!!!!! I AM NOT LOOKING FOR SEX...... OR ANYTHING THATS "SEXUAL"..... i have a real serious medical problem-- it is both a physical and a mental problem that i have. I WANT TO STOP, because it is causing me to be down and depressed.. $150. a month to hold the key for me and $200 a month if you massage my prostate so thats it remains healthy.. again NOTHING "sexual" from you you can leave your clothes on to massage the prostate--- if its NOT done its possible that i can get prostate cancer
Compensation: $150.00-$200.00 a month
______________________________
Topless maid
My wife wants a maid to do some weekly cleaning around the house. I don't want to pay for a maid. So we agreed that she could have someone come clean the house once a week if the person will do it topless. The cleaning would include windows, 2 full bathrooms, vacuuming and cleaning kitchen floor of a 2000 sq ft house. If you are interested please respond with your price and a picture. We are looking for someone that is attractive and has a nice body. So please include a topless picture and one of your ass in a thong. The other thing is that she gets to pic the person but I have veto power.
Compensation: name your price
______________________________
I want to watcha couple
looking for Wednesday night
______________________________
Spandex leggings model=100/hr
Hello... I am a 27 year old business professional who works very hard and tries to enjoy what little downtime I have. I have a fascination with girls wearing cotton spandex leggings and shorts and am willing to offer 100 dollars per hour for a private modelling session. There will be ABSOLUTELY NO Nudity and NO S ex of any kind during this session. I want to be clear on that. All I am looking to do is feel your butt and legs during the session while you model your different pairs for me... You will be paid before any modelling is done. Here is exactly who I am looking for.... A NON professional meaning that someone who mostly does not do these things for a living.. Someone who is mostly a girl next door type and needs to have the money to pay her bills. A waitress, secretary, college student, etc. I also would like the person to feel comfortable with this and we will exchange some emails beforehand to ease any anxiety. Don't be shy to answer this if you feel intimidated or if you have never done this before.. It is a safe and comfortable way to make some extra money and you could be exactly what I am looking for.. Please email me your photo and description and situation and any other questions you may have.... Thank you.
Compensation: 100 dollars per hour
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
fore!
So this guy, a tourist, is going to hit a golf ball into space from the international space station. Apparently it's been cleared by NASA. The ball will float around space then return to Earth's atmosphere in three days. It's all a big publicity stunt - some company in Canada, Element 21, is trying to promote it's new line of golf clubs.
Is it just me, or does this strike anyone else as odd? I'm no astronaut - not even a scientist - but it doesn't seem safe to launch things into space all willy-nilly. If it was for research, maybe. But just to promote some new golf clubs? Hmmm.
I guess the golf ball will just disintegrate when it hits our atmosphere. Because I can't imagine any good coming out of it slamming into the earth. Unless it hits the Element 21 headquarters. That'd be so worth it.
Is it just me, or does this strike anyone else as odd? I'm no astronaut - not even a scientist - but it doesn't seem safe to launch things into space all willy-nilly. If it was for research, maybe. But just to promote some new golf clubs? Hmmm.
I guess the golf ball will just disintegrate when it hits our atmosphere. Because I can't imagine any good coming out of it slamming into the earth. Unless it hits the Element 21 headquarters. That'd be so worth it.
Monday, August 21, 2006
ebert and...norma jean
Q and I watched a couple of movies this weekend. One was an old classic, one was new and hilarious, and one was horribly awful. Roeper, move over...
Super Troopers
This movie is one of my all time favorites, meow. There are countless memorable lines. It involves everything to the completely wacky to the hilariously physical. The plot isn't all that great, but the ridiculous humor makes it completely worthwhile. It was written by the members of Broken Lizard, a comedy troupe. They've done one other - Club Dread - but it's not nearly as hilarious as this one. They're currently making Beerfest, due out this year. I can't wait.
Grandma's Boy
Like Super Troopers, this is completely juvenile and lowbrow humor. Perfect. I laughed my ass off. Seriously, there were a few scenes that almost made me pee my pants. I hadn't ever heard of this movie, though supposedly it was released in the theaters. Anyway, if you like stupid, gross, poop-joke humor, you'll like this one. A classic. One of the guys has a multiple personality that speaks like an old-school video game robot. It's pure genius.
Firecracker
A seriously bad movie. Q said it had been called David Lynch-esque, which made it intriguing. And it starred Mike Patton, of Faith No More fame. Unfortunately, it stunk. Q and I got halfway through, and questioned whether we should even finish it or not, but we RARELY leave movies unfinished, so we opted to scan through the rest. We occasionally stopped during a particularly odd scene, or if something looked interesting, but that's it. A W F U L. I'm seriously disappointed in Mike Patton. You'd expect a neat-o guy to make good decisions about movies. Oh well. Musicians should probably stick to music.
Super Troopers
This movie is one of my all time favorites, meow. There are countless memorable lines. It involves everything to the completely wacky to the hilariously physical. The plot isn't all that great, but the ridiculous humor makes it completely worthwhile. It was written by the members of Broken Lizard, a comedy troupe. They've done one other - Club Dread - but it's not nearly as hilarious as this one. They're currently making Beerfest, due out this year. I can't wait.
Grandma's Boy
Like Super Troopers, this is completely juvenile and lowbrow humor. Perfect. I laughed my ass off. Seriously, there were a few scenes that almost made me pee my pants. I hadn't ever heard of this movie, though supposedly it was released in the theaters. Anyway, if you like stupid, gross, poop-joke humor, you'll like this one. A classic. One of the guys has a multiple personality that speaks like an old-school video game robot. It's pure genius.
Firecracker
A seriously bad movie. Q said it had been called David Lynch-esque, which made it intriguing. And it starred Mike Patton, of Faith No More fame. Unfortunately, it stunk. Q and I got halfway through, and questioned whether we should even finish it or not, but we RARELY leave movies unfinished, so we opted to scan through the rest. We occasionally stopped during a particularly odd scene, or if something looked interesting, but that's it. A W F U L. I'm seriously disappointed in Mike Patton. You'd expect a neat-o guy to make good decisions about movies. Oh well. Musicians should probably stick to music.
Friday, August 18, 2006
starbury
Stephon Marbury, a NBA player for the Knicks, has started his own line of clothing. I know what you're thinking - big deal, right? Don't lots of pro athletes do this? The answer is yes. But this guy is different. His line, Starbury, consists mostly of the basics (shoes, jeans, hoodies, athletic wear), and nothing costs over $9.95. That's in US dollars. Shocking! Actually, one item, his signature basketball shoes, costs $14.95. And he's going to wear them during the entire 2007 NBA season.
I think it's very admirable. As a child, his family struggled to make ends meet, so he knows what it's like to grow up without all of the expensive clothes that the other kids had. I doubt he makes much, if anything at all, on this endeavor. He also does lots of other great things. He has seven barbers on hire on Coney Island, where he grew up, to give free haircuts to kids. He gives away lots of Knicks tickets to organizations helping underprivileged kids.
I always love it when those in the spotlight do things like this, not just to help the community (that's easy), but to attempt to change the world that kids live in. He's going to make it cool for kids to wear $14.95 shoes, unlike Jordan, who made it cool for kids to wear $100+ shoes, and have them stolen off their feet.
His line is available at a store called Steve & Barry's. I've never heard of it, but there is one in Northwest Mall. I'm thinking of taking my little brother there to pick out something new for school from this line. I'll do whatever I can to support it and spread the word. Feel free to do the same. The more support this gets, the more likely it is to succeed, and that's definitely a good thing.
I think it's very admirable. As a child, his family struggled to make ends meet, so he knows what it's like to grow up without all of the expensive clothes that the other kids had. I doubt he makes much, if anything at all, on this endeavor. He also does lots of other great things. He has seven barbers on hire on Coney Island, where he grew up, to give free haircuts to kids. He gives away lots of Knicks tickets to organizations helping underprivileged kids.
I always love it when those in the spotlight do things like this, not just to help the community (that's easy), but to attempt to change the world that kids live in. He's going to make it cool for kids to wear $14.95 shoes, unlike Jordan, who made it cool for kids to wear $100+ shoes, and have them stolen off their feet.
His line is available at a store called Steve & Barry's. I've never heard of it, but there is one in Northwest Mall. I'm thinking of taking my little brother there to pick out something new for school from this line. I'll do whatever I can to support it and spread the word. Feel free to do the same. The more support this gets, the more likely it is to succeed, and that's definitely a good thing.
Monday, August 14, 2006
i'm back!
From a short vacation, that is. This weekend I was lucky enough, with a large group of people, to stay at a five star resort and spa from Thursday until Sunday. It was amazing.
After waking up to constant phone calls about the foiled terrorist plot and dealing with the craziness at the airport (stupid terrorists - why do they have to use liquid bombs? come on), a weekend of relaxing was exactly what we needed. Needless to say, I've never stayed at a five star resort, much less visited a top-ten-in-the-world spa. The service was phenomenal. The resort is on something like 70 acres, so it could be a long walk, depending on where you were going. However, all you had to do was call for a ride, and usually a cute boy arrived in a golf cart within minutes. Very cool. And the food was so yummy.
I had only ever had one professional massage before this trip, so I'm not exactly a connoisseur, but the massage I got was amazing. The women's lounge was immaculate. There were two steam rooms and a jacuzzi, as well as lots of showers, each with beautiful tile and wonderful shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. There was water infused with cucumber and lemon, and some really good iced tea, as well as any hot tea you could imagine. My massage was in a corner room, surrounded with windows looking out at the gorgeous scenery that surrounded the entire resort. Not that I got to look much during the massage, but that was beyond okay. I could easily become addicted, but not at that spa, as the massage was at least twice what you'd pay anywhere else.
And the best part was that it was free, with the exception of having to pay for the massage and lunch, and any snacks or alcohol I wanted during the day. But dinners were paid for, as well as an open bar pretty much all night long. Nice.
So, now that I've seen how the other half lives, it's going to be a much different experience to stay at a Holiday Inn or Motel Six. I did, at times, feel like an intruder, though I'm sure I didn't stick out as much as I thought I did. I did take a lot of pictures, but I waited until there weren't any people around (which was better anyway) so I wouldn't look like a huge hoosier. I wanted to document everything, since it's probably the nicest hotel I'll ever be in. It was funny - me trying to be inconspicuous while taking pictures of the pool at the spa because I'd never seen a pool like it. Oh well.
Anyway, it's back to the grind today, and it sucks. Especially since I messed up my watch while changing the time on the airplane and switched AM & PM, so my alarm didn't go off this morning, and I woke up 20 minutes before I was supposed to leave for work. Oops.
After waking up to constant phone calls about the foiled terrorist plot and dealing with the craziness at the airport (stupid terrorists - why do they have to use liquid bombs? come on), a weekend of relaxing was exactly what we needed. Needless to say, I've never stayed at a five star resort, much less visited a top-ten-in-the-world spa. The service was phenomenal. The resort is on something like 70 acres, so it could be a long walk, depending on where you were going. However, all you had to do was call for a ride, and usually a cute boy arrived in a golf cart within minutes. Very cool. And the food was so yummy.
I had only ever had one professional massage before this trip, so I'm not exactly a connoisseur, but the massage I got was amazing. The women's lounge was immaculate. There were two steam rooms and a jacuzzi, as well as lots of showers, each with beautiful tile and wonderful shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. There was water infused with cucumber and lemon, and some really good iced tea, as well as any hot tea you could imagine. My massage was in a corner room, surrounded with windows looking out at the gorgeous scenery that surrounded the entire resort. Not that I got to look much during the massage, but that was beyond okay. I could easily become addicted, but not at that spa, as the massage was at least twice what you'd pay anywhere else.
And the best part was that it was free, with the exception of having to pay for the massage and lunch, and any snacks or alcohol I wanted during the day. But dinners were paid for, as well as an open bar pretty much all night long. Nice.
So, now that I've seen how the other half lives, it's going to be a much different experience to stay at a Holiday Inn or Motel Six. I did, at times, feel like an intruder, though I'm sure I didn't stick out as much as I thought I did. I did take a lot of pictures, but I waited until there weren't any people around (which was better anyway) so I wouldn't look like a huge hoosier. I wanted to document everything, since it's probably the nicest hotel I'll ever be in. It was funny - me trying to be inconspicuous while taking pictures of the pool at the spa because I'd never seen a pool like it. Oh well.
Anyway, it's back to the grind today, and it sucks. Especially since I messed up my watch while changing the time on the airplane and switched AM & PM, so my alarm didn't go off this morning, and I woke up 20 minutes before I was supposed to leave for work. Oops.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
i like the pageant...
What Saint Louis, MO landmark are you?
i am The Pageant concert venue in the U. City Loop!
Take this http://www.quizilla.com/redirect.php?statsid=20&url=http://www.quizilla.com/makeaquiz.php">Make A Quiz More Quizzes Grab Code
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