Today's one of those days when I need to crank up the Yahoo music player full blast on the metal station. One, it relaxes me. Two, it drowns out all of the inane chatter. Lovely. I'm surprised by the bands they play on the metal station - it's a great selection.
So how 'bout that snow? I swear, if you stayed in your house with the blinds drawn and watched Fox 2, you'd think we got feet of snow, not mere inches. All this talk about digging out and black ice is going to make me ill. Come on, people. Driving wasn't even that bad. Get a grip. We could be in parts of the northeast right now where over ten feet of snow has fallen in the last week. People are digging out there for real, if they can get out of their houses. We actually got out of work on Tuesday at 2. I'm not complaining, and believe me, I took full advantage and left at 2 on the nose, but it was wholly unnecessary.
I wish we could go back to the good old days when we'd get feet of snow. What happened? Somehow the Lou manages to squeeze itself between the big fronts and always miss out. Not only would the city totally shut down, but we'd gain some perspective on what it's like to exist during a major storm.
Blah - the news is still talking about this two days later. It's sickening. I actually miss hearing about Anna Nicole's unbelievably rich baby.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
mmmmm...microbrews
Q and I went to dinner with my big sister Moo last Saturday night. We always have fun with Moo - we manage to talk and laugh well into the night. We met at Square One, a brewery in Lafayette Square. They've got a great selection, and all the beer is delicious. The food is good too. My favorite is the open faced portabella sandwich - it's awesome. Their single malt scotch ale is amazing.
Next we moved on to Bailey's Chocolate Bar. I tried to make reservations, but they don't take them, and they told me it'd probably be really busy at 9. It was around 9, but we decided to try anyway. Moo insanely gives up chocolate each year for lent, so she was hoping to get her fix before that time comes. We walked in, and were told it'd be 45 minutes to an hour wait. The front wasn't very crowded like it usually is, so we hemmed and hawed for a minute or two, trying to decide if it was worthwhile to wait. Ultimately we decided no, and were just about to push open the door when a woman came with menus and asked if we were ready to be seated. Hmmm. I asked if she was talking to us - she was looking right at us - and she said yes. So it was a very short 45 minutes to an hour.
We had yummy desserts, and yummy beverages. They have chocolate-themed beverages, but also surprisingly have a wide selection of unusual drinks - beers, wines, etc. Moo and I had a Unibroue cranberry wheat beer - amazing. I decided on that as opposed to a dessert wine made with moldy grapes that I had coincidentally learned about that afternoon on PBS called Noble One, but it was $9/glass, and I'm cheap, so I had to pass. Maybe next time.
As Q and I sat at the bar at Square One waiting for Moo drinking a frosty beverage (well Q's wasn't so frosty because his was a cask ale, served at room temperature), I decided I love beer. I mean I knew it already, but I really love beer. Not because it gets me drunk, but because the taste is amazing. When it's done right, that is. I prefer microbrews. There's something so rich, so drinkable about them. I despise Anheuser, and most large production beers. Ever since drinking more and more microbrews, I can't even bear to drink the other crap. It's intolerable. I guess that's true about a lot of things.
If you haven't been to Square One, go. It's a really neat place, and in my opinion, the best microbrewery in the area.
Next we moved on to Bailey's Chocolate Bar. I tried to make reservations, but they don't take them, and they told me it'd probably be really busy at 9. It was around 9, but we decided to try anyway. Moo insanely gives up chocolate each year for lent, so she was hoping to get her fix before that time comes. We walked in, and were told it'd be 45 minutes to an hour wait. The front wasn't very crowded like it usually is, so we hemmed and hawed for a minute or two, trying to decide if it was worthwhile to wait. Ultimately we decided no, and were just about to push open the door when a woman came with menus and asked if we were ready to be seated. Hmmm. I asked if she was talking to us - she was looking right at us - and she said yes. So it was a very short 45 minutes to an hour.
We had yummy desserts, and yummy beverages. They have chocolate-themed beverages, but also surprisingly have a wide selection of unusual drinks - beers, wines, etc. Moo and I had a Unibroue cranberry wheat beer - amazing. I decided on that as opposed to a dessert wine made with moldy grapes that I had coincidentally learned about that afternoon on PBS called Noble One, but it was $9/glass, and I'm cheap, so I had to pass. Maybe next time.
As Q and I sat at the bar at Square One waiting for Moo drinking a frosty beverage (well Q's wasn't so frosty because his was a cask ale, served at room temperature), I decided I love beer. I mean I knew it already, but I really love beer. Not because it gets me drunk, but because the taste is amazing. When it's done right, that is. I prefer microbrews. There's something so rich, so drinkable about them. I despise Anheuser, and most large production beers. Ever since drinking more and more microbrews, I can't even bear to drink the other crap. It's intolerable. I guess that's true about a lot of things.
If you haven't been to Square One, go. It's a really neat place, and in my opinion, the best microbrewery in the area.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
need a good car repair shop?
I had a great experience Tuesday night. My headlight has been out for weeks now, and though Q can usually fix these sort of things, he had a ton of trouble with it. Apparently my particular model of car is difficult. Shocking. I turned to the local tire/auto store, a few blocks away from our house. We'd been there a few times before and hadn't had a bad experience yet, which is hard to find in the big city. I called the shop and asked if someone there could put in the light if I brought my car up after work one day. He asked what kind of car it was, and I told him, and he chuckled. Seems they have trouble with that model also (much to Q's satisfaction). Sure, they'd do it, no problem.
I drove it up there and the familiar faces were working that night - a big old fat guy and the owner, who is always there, but was on his way out the door. There's something heartening about the owner of a shop actually working. The big man told me it'd be ten minutes or so until the mechanic could do it, that he was replacing a battery at the moment. No problem. I sat back to wait, watching Brian Williams on TV. Without warning the owner opened the door and stuck his hand out in my direction. I assumed he wanted the part, which I handed over. He did. He walked to my car and without saying a word changed out the bulb. The big guy went to check on him, and a few minutes later, walked in and said 'You're all done.' I asked how much I owed, and he smiled and said 'nothing'. I asked if he was sure, and he said he was. I thanked him twice then went outside to thank the owner, but he'd already driven off in his truck.
How great is that? How many places would do that? It's nice to have a place right around the corner that we can totally trust, especially a car place - that's hard to find in the city. That place, by the way, is Bayless Tire & Auto, on the corner of Morganford and Weber. Check them out if you live nearby.
That's my story for the week. Without that happening this week would be totally useless and crappy.
I drove it up there and the familiar faces were working that night - a big old fat guy and the owner, who is always there, but was on his way out the door. There's something heartening about the owner of a shop actually working. The big man told me it'd be ten minutes or so until the mechanic could do it, that he was replacing a battery at the moment. No problem. I sat back to wait, watching Brian Williams on TV. Without warning the owner opened the door and stuck his hand out in my direction. I assumed he wanted the part, which I handed over. He did. He walked to my car and without saying a word changed out the bulb. The big guy went to check on him, and a few minutes later, walked in and said 'You're all done.' I asked how much I owed, and he smiled and said 'nothing'. I asked if he was sure, and he said he was. I thanked him twice then went outside to thank the owner, but he'd already driven off in his truck.
How great is that? How many places would do that? It's nice to have a place right around the corner that we can totally trust, especially a car place - that's hard to find in the city. That place, by the way, is Bayless Tire & Auto, on the corner of Morganford and Weber. Check them out if you live nearby.
That's my story for the week. Without that happening this week would be totally useless and crappy.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Éirinn go Brách!
It's official. Q and I are going to Ireland to visit the famed N8 & MT in March. We got the tickets last night, and for that price, there's no turning back now.
I expect to visit the Guinness Brewery at least once, being a huge fan/connoisseur of beer. This will fit perfectly with our pact to scout out each city we visit for the local brew houses. I got a travel book today, but we don't plan on making many permanent decisions until we get over there. Q and I function best when there are no firm plans and we're able to mosey about as we please. The best trip we've been on so far was a tour of the west coast starting in Seattle and ending in San Jose, CA. The only firm plans were getting to Seattle and coming home from San Jose. Everything in between was totally made up along the way. It was perfect. Lazy, relaxed, and open to any possibilities.
And since we'll have such great hosts/tour guides, they'll know all the fun places to go. Now, if I can magically make our passports appear at our house in time, everything will be set and ready. I hope the passport genies can make that happen or are willing to work with me for expedited service. Fingers crossed.
Monday, January 29, 2007
rainbows, puppy dogs, and ice cream
Q and I went to a birthday party on Saturday afternoon for our friend's one-year-old son's birthday party. I got to hold one of these on my lap all afternoon long. I guess the little guy was tired from all the commotion, because he layed motionless on my lap. A couple of times I even picked him up and moved him without his so much as making a sound. Too adorable! His little breath smelled just like puppy breath, which is so darn cute. And he was so very soft and warm.Once his big brother came home he was a maniac, but up until then sweet as can be. If only I could carry around a puppy all day long. I'd never be in a bad mood. 
Here's a picture of a greyhound puppy. Not only do I think they're the best looking dogs in the world, but the puppies are probably the cutest too. And greyhounds are incredibly soft and velvety - I can only imagine how soft the puppies are. I've never actually seen one, since greyhound puppies generally are either raced or slaughtered. So very sad.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
advice to self at 15
Five priceless pieces of advice to my 15 year old self (copied from another blog):
1. Use your head when it comes to boys. They're bound to cause you a lot of grief; not heartbreak, but annoyance. Don't spend too much time with just one. On the flip side, it's best not to date boys who are friends, or belong to the same group or 'clique'. They'll always take each other's side and make you feel like the bad person. And though it may be funny at the time, and may get you some attention, never share personal letters with others, especially the boy's friends. Not a good idea. It's better to be friends with boys at this age. Relationships now really mean nothing in the long run.
2. Don't make fun of others, especially not to their face. Understand that everyone has their downfalls, including yourself. Don't use those things against them to make yourself feel better. Do your best to accept them for who they are, and always laugh WITH them, not AT them.
3. When a friend is in need, don't turn your back on her, even if you have no idea how to handle the situation. She needs you, not your advice; she has others for that. Be a friend. Don't say anything. Just sit with her, hug her, or let her cry on your shoulder. You never know how your support will affect a person over the course of her life. The most important thing to remember is being there for a friend is never a bad thing. Don't be scared of new situations. You'll never do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, or piss her off.
4. Don't be afraid to ask boys out. If you wait for them to ask you, you're limiting yourself to a certain selection of them, which isn't always a good thing. So what if they say no? It won't make you a nerd. If anything, they'll feel great that you asked in the first place, and you'll be that much cooler. In fact, don't be afraid of people in general. If you want to say something to someone, say it (within reason, of course). Talk to cheerleaders, burnouts, gay kids, jocks, athletes, punks, and nerds. They might have more in common with you than you think. You can never have enough friends in high school and college.
5. Don't go to college with a bunch of friends. It might be fun, but it's safe, and that will get you nowhere. You need to be forced to make friends, be forced to find yourself. Go somewhere far away, somewhere you'd never think to live. This might be your only chance to get out of Missouri for a little while. You'll have plenty of time to see your high school friends in St. Louis during holidays and breaks. And make it a smaller school. That way it won't be so easy to slip between the cracks.
It's crazy to think of what my life might be like now if I'd had this advice back then. I know it'd be totally different. I'd have still made plenty of mistakes, I'm sure.
1. Use your head when it comes to boys. They're bound to cause you a lot of grief; not heartbreak, but annoyance. Don't spend too much time with just one. On the flip side, it's best not to date boys who are friends, or belong to the same group or 'clique'. They'll always take each other's side and make you feel like the bad person. And though it may be funny at the time, and may get you some attention, never share personal letters with others, especially the boy's friends. Not a good idea. It's better to be friends with boys at this age. Relationships now really mean nothing in the long run.
2. Don't make fun of others, especially not to their face. Understand that everyone has their downfalls, including yourself. Don't use those things against them to make yourself feel better. Do your best to accept them for who they are, and always laugh WITH them, not AT them.
3. When a friend is in need, don't turn your back on her, even if you have no idea how to handle the situation. She needs you, not your advice; she has others for that. Be a friend. Don't say anything. Just sit with her, hug her, or let her cry on your shoulder. You never know how your support will affect a person over the course of her life. The most important thing to remember is being there for a friend is never a bad thing. Don't be scared of new situations. You'll never do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, or piss her off.
4. Don't be afraid to ask boys out. If you wait for them to ask you, you're limiting yourself to a certain selection of them, which isn't always a good thing. So what if they say no? It won't make you a nerd. If anything, they'll feel great that you asked in the first place, and you'll be that much cooler. In fact, don't be afraid of people in general. If you want to say something to someone, say it (within reason, of course). Talk to cheerleaders, burnouts, gay kids, jocks, athletes, punks, and nerds. They might have more in common with you than you think. You can never have enough friends in high school and college.
5. Don't go to college with a bunch of friends. It might be fun, but it's safe, and that will get you nowhere. You need to be forced to make friends, be forced to find yourself. Go somewhere far away, somewhere you'd never think to live. This might be your only chance to get out of Missouri for a little while. You'll have plenty of time to see your high school friends in St. Louis during holidays and breaks. And make it a smaller school. That way it won't be so easy to slip between the cracks.
It's crazy to think of what my life might be like now if I'd had this advice back then. I know it'd be totally different. I'd have still made plenty of mistakes, I'm sure.
Monday, January 22, 2007
cheap hoosiers at the movies
This weekend Q and I went to see Borat. Yes, we're a little late, but better late than never, no? Very true in the case of this movie. It was hilarious. Totally worth the rush hour price.
It was only showing in one theater, a theater close to us in South County. We thought we'd be the only ones there. We were so wrong. The little theater was almost full. We surmised it was probably because Sacha Baron Cohen just won Best Actor - Comedy/Musical at the Golden Globes. There were families, elderly folks, and even a young child - yes, a young child at a rated R picture.
I can't believe people would bring a young child to a rated R picture. A baby is one thing; annoying in a totally different way. But 6-8 year old kid? That kid doesn't need to see the things that happen/are said during this movie.
I'm not a parent, so I don't know what I would do, but I can make a big bet that I won't take a kid that age to a rated R movie. Is it just laziness? They can't/don't want to find a sitter, so they just bring him along? Maybe they didn't realize what the movie was about, which isn't so surprising. It amazes me how many people have never even heard of the movie. But bottom line, you shouldn't be taking a kid to a rated R movie, whether it's R for sex, drugs, gore, language, or whatever. It's totally irresponsible.
The family happened to be sitting right in front of us, which didn't stop us from laughing our asses off. I couldn't have stopped myself anyway - the movie was hysterical. During the part when Borat is looking for a car, and wants a car with a 'pussy magnet', and 'pussy' is repeated over and over, the couple looked a bit uncomfortable, and looked over at the kid. He obviously didn't get it, and therefore didn't find it very funny, but that didn't stop them from laughing. It was disgusting. Nothing better than a parent who knows he's doing something wrong, and does it anyway.
Only two people got up and left, and it was during the part when he's wrestling naked with his very overweight friend and running throughout a hotel. Hilarious. I guess that part pushed this elderly couple over the edge. I suppose that scene in particular offended them maybe because they don't like gay people, and though Borat and his friend aren't gay, some very gay things were suggested. Whatever. Who goes to see a movie without having the slightest clue what it's about?
The elderly man sitting in our row was particularily hilarious, especially during the part when Borat is talking about using gypsy tears to ward off AIDS. He loudly asked his wife 'For what? What does he use for AIDS?' They laughed the entire time. Too funny.
I decided Q and I are only seeing offensive movies in South County, during the day, after the movie has been out for a while. The audience is almost as entertaining as the film.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
robert berry's 100 most annoying things of 2006
They're all hilarious, but here are a few of my favorites:
Fauxhawks
Mohawks for people that want to show that they're edgy, but still need an exit plan if it doesn't work out. Fauxhawks are the clip-on ties of the punk rock world.
Alcoholism
If we believe Mel Gibson and Mark Foley, we could eliminate the world's racism and sexual harassment by simply bringing back prohibition.
Ashlee Simpson
She spent a ton of cash on a nose job, while doing absolutely nothing about her deformed vocal chords.
Giant Size Belts
What's up with ladies wearing these freakishly large belts. If I want a woman that looks like a WWE wrestler, I'll date John Cena.
Steve Martin
Steve Martin's now making the movies Pauly Shore used to get stuck with. I eagerly await Oh Heavenly Dog 2 and Skid Marks of The Pink Panther.
James Blunt
His song "You're Beautiful" is an aural holocaust. His vocals remind me of that guy who's singing "I Gave My Love A Cherry" at the toga party in Animal House right before John Belushi smashes his guitar to bits.
Gwen Stefani
Followed up "Hollaback Girl" with a rap song featuring yodeling from The Sound of Music. Look for her to release a heartfelt ballad featuring samples of the dogs barking "Jingle Bells" next.
Paris Hilton Perfume
Save yourself some cash and just dab juice from a tuna can on your neck.
Tony Snow
Who would have thought it possible to find an even shiftier White House Press Secretary than Scott McClellan? At this rate, look for The Simpsons Kent Brockman to take over next year.
Mel Gibson
Mel responded to the bad hype from his drunken racist tirade by making a kickass action film, Apocalypto. If we're lucky, he'll make a drug addled rant about Mexicans next year and give us a Mad Max sequel to apologize. Say what you want about him, though, the guy takes a handsome mugshot!
Anna Nicole Smith's Son
This tacky attention whore couldn't wait until after his mother's new baby was born and her quickie wedding to her lawyer to die? No class!
George Bush
Thanks for wasting nearly a trillion dollars and thousands of lives so we can occupy a country we have no chance of stabilizing and we'll leave it in shambles once we finally pull out. Good thing we already declared victory years ago, so we can leave with our heads held high.
Spinach
Way to go, E-Coli! Get all over our healthiest food instead of scaring people away from bacon or cheeseburgers. Further evidence that God wants us to be fat!
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
You know, if you're going to be an evil leader, you should find some clothes more menacing than khaki Member's Only jackets from 1982.
The Transportation Safety Administration
Thanks for keeping the skies safe by keeping me from bringing fluids and gels on the plane. Looks like I'm stuck with Amtrak now, when I need to travel with my "Sam's Club Jumbo Vat O' Love Lube".
Ann Coulter
Claimed 9/11 widows enjoyed their husband's deaths in her book Godless: The Church of Liberalism. If you think that was a controversial title, it's at least more marketable than the publisher's original suggestion, "Attention Whore: Rants From An Irrelevant Cunt."
OJ Simpson and Judith Reagan
OJ pulled off the impossible by coming off as an even more worthless piece of shit with his book "If I Did It" which was thankfully yanked before hitting the book stores. And for Judith Reagan to even think of throwing millions at Simpson to publish the book in the first place is vomit-inducing. Though she's been fired, look for Regan to bring us classics like "Let's Pretend I Really Killed Laci", and Mark David Chapman's "I Was Aiming For Yoko."
Fauxhawks
Mohawks for people that want to show that they're edgy, but still need an exit plan if it doesn't work out. Fauxhawks are the clip-on ties of the punk rock world.
Alcoholism
If we believe Mel Gibson and Mark Foley, we could eliminate the world's racism and sexual harassment by simply bringing back prohibition.
Ashlee Simpson
She spent a ton of cash on a nose job, while doing absolutely nothing about her deformed vocal chords.
Giant Size Belts
What's up with ladies wearing these freakishly large belts. If I want a woman that looks like a WWE wrestler, I'll date John Cena.
Steve Martin
Steve Martin's now making the movies Pauly Shore used to get stuck with. I eagerly await Oh Heavenly Dog 2 and Skid Marks of The Pink Panther.
James Blunt
His song "You're Beautiful" is an aural holocaust. His vocals remind me of that guy who's singing "I Gave My Love A Cherry" at the toga party in Animal House right before John Belushi smashes his guitar to bits.
Gwen Stefani
Followed up "Hollaback Girl" with a rap song featuring yodeling from The Sound of Music. Look for her to release a heartfelt ballad featuring samples of the dogs barking "Jingle Bells" next.
Paris Hilton Perfume
Save yourself some cash and just dab juice from a tuna can on your neck.
Tony Snow
Who would have thought it possible to find an even shiftier White House Press Secretary than Scott McClellan? At this rate, look for The Simpsons Kent Brockman to take over next year.
Mel Gibson
Mel responded to the bad hype from his drunken racist tirade by making a kickass action film, Apocalypto. If we're lucky, he'll make a drug addled rant about Mexicans next year and give us a Mad Max sequel to apologize. Say what you want about him, though, the guy takes a handsome mugshot!
Anna Nicole Smith's Son
This tacky attention whore couldn't wait until after his mother's new baby was born and her quickie wedding to her lawyer to die? No class!
George Bush
Thanks for wasting nearly a trillion dollars and thousands of lives so we can occupy a country we have no chance of stabilizing and we'll leave it in shambles once we finally pull out. Good thing we already declared victory years ago, so we can leave with our heads held high.
Spinach
Way to go, E-Coli! Get all over our healthiest food instead of scaring people away from bacon or cheeseburgers. Further evidence that God wants us to be fat!
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
You know, if you're going to be an evil leader, you should find some clothes more menacing than khaki Member's Only jackets from 1982.
The Transportation Safety Administration
Thanks for keeping the skies safe by keeping me from bringing fluids and gels on the plane. Looks like I'm stuck with Amtrak now, when I need to travel with my "Sam's Club Jumbo Vat O' Love Lube".
Ann Coulter
Claimed 9/11 widows enjoyed their husband's deaths in her book Godless: The Church of Liberalism. If you think that was a controversial title, it's at least more marketable than the publisher's original suggestion, "Attention Whore: Rants From An Irrelevant Cunt."
OJ Simpson and Judith Reagan
OJ pulled off the impossible by coming off as an even more worthless piece of shit with his book "If I Did It" which was thankfully yanked before hitting the book stores. And for Judith Reagan to even think of throwing millions at Simpson to publish the book in the first place is vomit-inducing. Though she's been fired, look for Regan to bring us classics like "Let's Pretend I Really Killed Laci", and Mark David Chapman's "I Was Aiming For Yoko."
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
meat shoot
For a while now I've been wondering what a 'meat shoot' is. We live by some sort of Veteran's Hall and they're always advertising them. I finally got around to searching the internets for this seemingly small-town-America tradition still surviving in the southern suburbs of St. Louis.
Apparently a 'meat shoot' is when a bunch of men (I know what you're thinking, you dirty bird) get together and aim their guns (get your mind out of the gutter, now) at targets and whoever shoots closest wins some frozen meat. I've read about some shooting at skeet-like targets, and some at regular bulls-eyes. I've also read about shoots for turkeys, sides of beef, deer, and all other types of meat.
My first thought is wow, could that be more inherently sexual? Even more so than football? Crazy.
My second thought is huh, do they really shoot for frozen meat? Why not cash? I get the idea of a bunch of men getting together for a few shooting games, drinking beer, fraternizing. Totally get that. But why not play for cash? Because it's more 'manly' to play for meat? Again so very inherently sexual. Interesting.
My third thought is to wonder where they do this. The little hall is smack in the middle of a residential neighborhood. No chance they're shooting their guns anywhere in the vicinity of the place. I thought maybe they rigged the game to work somehow indoors, but it'd have to be without real guns, and the sign specifically advertises what kind of gun is allowed - a 22? I know virtually nothing about guns, so this makes no sense to me. A google search of '22 gun' did bring back some results, so it must make some sort of sense.
My fourth thought (somewhat off topic) is to be very thankful for google. What would I do all day at work without it? I think it's become the new encyclopedia. That's actually frightening thought.
My fifth thought (can you tell these are occuring to me as we speak?) is to find someone with a gun (experienced, preferably) to sign up for a meat shoot. And if I can't do that, I'm going to show up just to watch. I'm totally fascinated. I have to see this thing in action.
Apparently a 'meat shoot' is when a bunch of men (I know what you're thinking, you dirty bird) get together and aim their guns (get your mind out of the gutter, now) at targets and whoever shoots closest wins some frozen meat. I've read about some shooting at skeet-like targets, and some at regular bulls-eyes. I've also read about shoots for turkeys, sides of beef, deer, and all other types of meat.
My first thought is wow, could that be more inherently sexual? Even more so than football? Crazy.
My second thought is huh, do they really shoot for frozen meat? Why not cash? I get the idea of a bunch of men getting together for a few shooting games, drinking beer, fraternizing. Totally get that. But why not play for cash? Because it's more 'manly' to play for meat? Again so very inherently sexual. Interesting.
My third thought is to wonder where they do this. The little hall is smack in the middle of a residential neighborhood. No chance they're shooting their guns anywhere in the vicinity of the place. I thought maybe they rigged the game to work somehow indoors, but it'd have to be without real guns, and the sign specifically advertises what kind of gun is allowed - a 22? I know virtually nothing about guns, so this makes no sense to me. A google search of '22 gun' did bring back some results, so it must make some sort of sense.
My fourth thought (somewhat off topic) is to be very thankful for google. What would I do all day at work without it? I think it's become the new encyclopedia. That's actually frightening thought.
My fifth thought (can you tell these are occuring to me as we speak?) is to find someone with a gun (experienced, preferably) to sign up for a meat shoot. And if I can't do that, I'm going to show up just to watch. I'm totally fascinated. I have to see this thing in action.
Monday, January 08, 2007
top 10 bushisms of 2006
(CNN) -- A Web site that analyzes and catalogues language usage has issued its top Bushisms for 2006, with "I use the Google" and "I'm the decider" among them.
Language observers nominated the entries and then ranked them, aided by the Global Language Monitor's predictive-quantities indicator, an algorithm that tracks words and phrases in the print and electronic media and on the Internet.
Here they are:
1. "I'm the Decider." "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense." April 18, in response to a question from CNN's Ed Henry.
2. "I use The Google," in reference to the popular search engine. October 24th. Interview with Maria Bartiromo of CNBC.
3. "It was not always certain that the U.S. and America would have a close relationship." June 29.
4. "I've got an ek-a-lec-tic reading list." August 29 interview with NBC's Brian Williams.
5. "The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done." Nov. 24 (Greely, Colo.)
6. "Stay the course." On numerous occasions.
7. "When the final history is written on Iraq, it will look just like a comma." Sept. 24. Interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer.
8. "The Congress was right to renew the Terrorist Act." In reference to the Patriot Act. Sept. 7 (Washington)
9. "I want to be a war president; no president wants to be a war president." Oct. 26. (Des Moines)
10. "The fiscal year that ended on February the 30th." The government fiscal year ends Sept. 30; Oct. 11 (Washington)
"With fewer than twenty-four months remaining in the Bush presidency, word watchers worldwide are in a mad scramble to find a substitute for the near weekly faux pas presented by the president," said Paul JJ Payack, president of the Global Language Monitor, which is based in San Diego, California.
Language observers nominated the entries and then ranked them, aided by the Global Language Monitor's predictive-quantities indicator, an algorithm that tracks words and phrases in the print and electronic media and on the Internet.
Here they are:
1. "I'm the Decider." "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense." April 18, in response to a question from CNN's Ed Henry.
2. "I use The Google," in reference to the popular search engine. October 24th. Interview with Maria Bartiromo of CNBC.
3. "It was not always certain that the U.S. and America would have a close relationship." June 29.
4. "I've got an ek-a-lec-tic reading list." August 29 interview with NBC's Brian Williams.
5. "The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done." Nov. 24 (Greely, Colo.)
6. "Stay the course." On numerous occasions.
7. "When the final history is written on Iraq, it will look just like a comma." Sept. 24. Interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer.
8. "The Congress was right to renew the Terrorist Act." In reference to the Patriot Act. Sept. 7 (Washington)
9. "I want to be a war president; no president wants to be a war president." Oct. 26. (Des Moines)
10. "The fiscal year that ended on February the 30th." The government fiscal year ends Sept. 30; Oct. 11 (Washington)
"With fewer than twenty-four months remaining in the Bush presidency, word watchers worldwide are in a mad scramble to find a substitute for the near weekly faux pas presented by the president," said Paul JJ Payack, president of the Global Language Monitor, which is based in San Diego, California.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
late night thoughts on religion
The following post is the result of not being able to sleep well this past weekend. I think it's best for the world that I do sleep well. There's no need for my brain to work on overtime.
Regardless (or even better, my favorite bullshit word, irregardless), it happened. This time was unusual - what my brain managed to create during the wee hours of the morning actually made sense the next day. This particular night I also came up with the new blog title. I guess you could call it a sort of Christmas miracle.
I tend to think a lot about religion while at the inlaws', which is where we were on the aforementioned night. My sleepless mind came up with this rationalization of how I feel about religion (Christianity, to be specific, since I know little about other religions - something I plan to work on). This conclusion appears after years of thought, reading, and learning more and more about it. Okay, deep breath. Here goes.
1. I believe Jesus existed. He was probably a normal, wonderful person who helped the downtrodden and brought happiness to many. Or maybe he was just a precursor to David Koresh, some fanatic guy running around spewing cultish ideas. Either way, he managed to have some sort of effect on humanity at the time. Do I think he walked on water, or turned water into wine, or was resurrected from the dead? Most likely not. If he claimed to do these things, he was probably a nut job. I prefer to think humanity had a way of embellishing the truth into what we read now as the Bible. More below.
2. I took a folklore class in college. I thought it bullshit at the time, as my advisor failed to tell me I had to take that as a requirement to graduate right before my last semester, therefore forcing me to take 18 hours. Lucikly I was going for an English degree, so it wasn't exactly brain surgery. I digress. This does relate to my thoughts on the Bible.
The Bible is entertaining reading. Do I think for one minute that we should take it as reality? No. A lot (or most? or all? I don't really know) of the new testament was written some time after Jesus died. Stories were passed down from generation to generation, and ultimately written. What happens when you line up a group of people, tell the first one a sentence or two, and pass it on from person to person? What are those sentences like once they reach the last person? Usually they're at least somewhat different than the original sentences, if not significantly different. With stories, these changes usually include embellishment as they travel from person to person. Why not? No one wants to tell a dull story. I feel that's what happened with the Bible. I think the basic elements are probably true. Jesus existed. He was a good man who fought for the little guy, and gave hope to many who were probably hopeless at the time. If he was killed, that probably helped make him more memorable. But when it comes down to the immaculate conception, and the things mentioned above, it's just too much. How can I be expected to believe these things?
Plus, there are passages written about Jesus that weren't included in the modern day Bible. I googled 'lost books of bible' and found this oh-so-inspiring passage from a religious website called Got Questions.org:
Question: "What are the lost books of the Bible?"
Answer: There are no "lost books of the Bible" or books that were taken out of the Bible. There are many legends and rumors of “lost books” but there is no truth whatsoever to these stories. Every book that God intended and inspired to be in the Bible is in the Bible. There are literally hundreds of religious books that were written in the same time period as the books of the Bible. Some of these books contain true accounts of things that genuinely occurred (1 Maccabees for example). Some of them contain good spiritual teaching (the wisdom of Solomon for example). However, these books are not inspired by God. If we read any of these books, the Apocrypha as an example, we have to treat them as fallible historical books, not as the inspired, inerrant Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
The gospel of Thomas, for example, was a book written in the 3rd or 4th century A.D. as a forgery, claiming to have been written by the Apostle Thomas. It was not written by Thomas. The early church fathers almost universally rejected the gospel of Thomas as being heretical. It contains many false and heretical things that Jesus supposedly said and did. None of it (or at best very little of it) is true. The Epistle of Barnabas was not written by the Biblical Barnabas, but by an imposter. The same can be said of the gospel of Philip, the apocalypse of Peter, the book of Enoch, etc. The Bible is the complete Word of God. Why would God allow a book that He inspired to not be included in the Bible for 2000+ years?
Interesting. Why indeed? I'd like to know how these early church fathers knew which gospels were 'inspired by God' and which were crap. What was the criteria? That's my point. There's no way to prove which are true and which aren't. I'd wager to say that what we know of Jesus' life is only a small percentage of what was written.
3. Now don't get your panties in a bunch. Most of what I've written doesn't actually matter when it comes to my conclusion, which is this: why can't we focus on Jesus being a good person, someone who helped the sick and poor, who cared for everyone no matter what, who inspired so many? Why do we have to focus on the so very strange things in the Bible? Does his life have to be spectacular and dazzling to be worthwhile?
I think he'd be so much more inspiring and attainable if he was a normal person who went out of his way to help and love others. I'd much rather my kids were inspired by that Jesus than the one who was immaculately conceived, turned water into wine, walked on water, was murdered, then rose from the dead (in no particular order). I almost think we've focused on these things for so long that we've lost the true meaning of living like Jesus and taking him into our hearts. Bottom line, I wish we'd spend more time focusing on his admirable human qualities and less on the Bible and the fantastic.
Moreover, I don't think I have to accept Jesus and religion to go to heaven, if such a place exists (I'm more inclined to believe in reincarnation, but that's really beside the point). Because if God turns us away because we weren't 'saved' or 'reborn' no matter what kind of person we were or how we lived our lives, I don't want to go there. If God won't let in a baby that hasn't been baptized then that's ridiculous, and anyone who believes that is missing the point entirely. I prefer to think God and Jesus would focus on us being good, caring people, doing our part to help others and our world, rather than on whether we went to church or read the Bible. The God and Jesus I'd choose to believe in would love everyone no matter what color, race, religion, sexual orientation, species, and so on (I could go on forever).
Wow, that was a scary brain spill. See? We're really in trouble if I start having problems sleeping. Here's a great link, by the way, to a blog entry about the history of Christmas and how it's been horribly overdone in our modern society.
Regardless (or even better, my favorite bullshit word, irregardless), it happened. This time was unusual - what my brain managed to create during the wee hours of the morning actually made sense the next day. This particular night I also came up with the new blog title. I guess you could call it a sort of Christmas miracle.
I tend to think a lot about religion while at the inlaws', which is where we were on the aforementioned night. My sleepless mind came up with this rationalization of how I feel about religion (Christianity, to be specific, since I know little about other religions - something I plan to work on). This conclusion appears after years of thought, reading, and learning more and more about it. Okay, deep breath. Here goes.
1. I believe Jesus existed. He was probably a normal, wonderful person who helped the downtrodden and brought happiness to many. Or maybe he was just a precursor to David Koresh, some fanatic guy running around spewing cultish ideas. Either way, he managed to have some sort of effect on humanity at the time. Do I think he walked on water, or turned water into wine, or was resurrected from the dead? Most likely not. If he claimed to do these things, he was probably a nut job. I prefer to think humanity had a way of embellishing the truth into what we read now as the Bible. More below.
2. I took a folklore class in college. I thought it bullshit at the time, as my advisor failed to tell me I had to take that as a requirement to graduate right before my last semester, therefore forcing me to take 18 hours. Lucikly I was going for an English degree, so it wasn't exactly brain surgery. I digress. This does relate to my thoughts on the Bible.
The Bible is entertaining reading. Do I think for one minute that we should take it as reality? No. A lot (or most? or all? I don't really know) of the new testament was written some time after Jesus died. Stories were passed down from generation to generation, and ultimately written. What happens when you line up a group of people, tell the first one a sentence or two, and pass it on from person to person? What are those sentences like once they reach the last person? Usually they're at least somewhat different than the original sentences, if not significantly different. With stories, these changes usually include embellishment as they travel from person to person. Why not? No one wants to tell a dull story. I feel that's what happened with the Bible. I think the basic elements are probably true. Jesus existed. He was a good man who fought for the little guy, and gave hope to many who were probably hopeless at the time. If he was killed, that probably helped make him more memorable. But when it comes down to the immaculate conception, and the things mentioned above, it's just too much. How can I be expected to believe these things?
Plus, there are passages written about Jesus that weren't included in the modern day Bible. I googled 'lost books of bible' and found this oh-so-inspiring passage from a religious website called Got Questions.org:
Question: "What are the lost books of the Bible?"
Answer: There are no "lost books of the Bible" or books that were taken out of the Bible. There are many legends and rumors of “lost books” but there is no truth whatsoever to these stories. Every book that God intended and inspired to be in the Bible is in the Bible. There are literally hundreds of religious books that were written in the same time period as the books of the Bible. Some of these books contain true accounts of things that genuinely occurred (1 Maccabees for example). Some of them contain good spiritual teaching (the wisdom of Solomon for example). However, these books are not inspired by God. If we read any of these books, the Apocrypha as an example, we have to treat them as fallible historical books, not as the inspired, inerrant Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
The gospel of Thomas, for example, was a book written in the 3rd or 4th century A.D. as a forgery, claiming to have been written by the Apostle Thomas. It was not written by Thomas. The early church fathers almost universally rejected the gospel of Thomas as being heretical. It contains many false and heretical things that Jesus supposedly said and did. None of it (or at best very little of it) is true. The Epistle of Barnabas was not written by the Biblical Barnabas, but by an imposter. The same can be said of the gospel of Philip, the apocalypse of Peter, the book of Enoch, etc. The Bible is the complete Word of God. Why would God allow a book that He inspired to not be included in the Bible for 2000+ years?
Interesting. Why indeed? I'd like to know how these early church fathers knew which gospels were 'inspired by God' and which were crap. What was the criteria? That's my point. There's no way to prove which are true and which aren't. I'd wager to say that what we know of Jesus' life is only a small percentage of what was written.
3. Now don't get your panties in a bunch. Most of what I've written doesn't actually matter when it comes to my conclusion, which is this: why can't we focus on Jesus being a good person, someone who helped the sick and poor, who cared for everyone no matter what, who inspired so many? Why do we have to focus on the so very strange things in the Bible? Does his life have to be spectacular and dazzling to be worthwhile?
I think he'd be so much more inspiring and attainable if he was a normal person who went out of his way to help and love others. I'd much rather my kids were inspired by that Jesus than the one who was immaculately conceived, turned water into wine, walked on water, was murdered, then rose from the dead (in no particular order). I almost think we've focused on these things for so long that we've lost the true meaning of living like Jesus and taking him into our hearts. Bottom line, I wish we'd spend more time focusing on his admirable human qualities and less on the Bible and the fantastic.
Moreover, I don't think I have to accept Jesus and religion to go to heaven, if such a place exists (I'm more inclined to believe in reincarnation, but that's really beside the point). Because if God turns us away because we weren't 'saved' or 'reborn' no matter what kind of person we were or how we lived our lives, I don't want to go there. If God won't let in a baby that hasn't been baptized then that's ridiculous, and anyone who believes that is missing the point entirely. I prefer to think God and Jesus would focus on us being good, caring people, doing our part to help others and our world, rather than on whether we went to church or read the Bible. The God and Jesus I'd choose to believe in would love everyone no matter what color, race, religion, sexual orientation, species, and so on (I could go on forever).
Wow, that was a scary brain spill. See? We're really in trouble if I start having problems sleeping. Here's a great link, by the way, to a blog entry about the history of Christmas and how it's been horribly overdone in our modern society.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
a fresh start
Happy 2007. I'd be much happier if I weren't at work right now, but someone's got to pay the bills. Today has been particularly odd because a guy I went to high school with started at my company. In fact, we went to elementary, junior high, and senior high together. I had a big crush on him back in elementary school. Very weird. What's even weirder is that he doesn't look very different. Who knows how he remembers me. I was such a twerp in high school. Blah. No sense in bringing up the past.
You might notice a change on my site. No more Donnie Darko. That was getting so tired and boring. If you're curious, yes, I have seen a special someone throw up in an IKEA bag. The image was burned into my brain for all time. It wasn't deliberate, yet it seems to beg some higher meaning. I'll leave it at that. The words just aren't here right now. Too tired. Need caffeine.
You might notice a change on my site. No more Donnie Darko. That was getting so tired and boring. If you're curious, yes, I have seen a special someone throw up in an IKEA bag. The image was burned into my brain for all time. It wasn't deliberate, yet it seems to beg some higher meaning. I'll leave it at that. The words just aren't here right now. Too tired. Need caffeine.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
no more Queen references
So, it turns out my best friend in the whole world is pregnant. Pregnant! And another one bites the dust. Another one crosses over to the dark side. I'm beginning to dread seeing friends. It seems like every time I get together with someone they tell me they're pregnant. I guess I'm probably going to be in this pattern for the long haul. Every time I hear those two words it reminds me that I've yet to pop one out. I've yet to decide whether I even want one or not. I've yet to come to terms with the fact that I'm old enough/mature enough to have/handle a child. It's a scary thought!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
my gluttonous post-Christmas rant
Q and I watched 'An Inconvenient Truth' last night narrated by the one, the only Al Gore. Who, by the way, has gotten rather large in the past few years. Wow.
Anyway, I enjoyed it. I usually enjoy documentaries, just like I enjoy nonfiction. I'm a believer in the world being much crazier on its own than anything we can make up.
A few criticisms:
1. I could have done without the Al Gore interjections. What does his run for presidency have to do with global warming? Why do I need to see him stroll through the post 9/11 airport security? I highly doubt he goes through like a normal American, anyway. I thought the material was good enough on its own. I didn't need Al's political opinions thrown in.
2. There's a part where he discusses the melting of Antarctica and Greenland. Very interesting, though I wasn't really surprised Florida, Manhattan and San Francisco would one day be underwater (that is if San Fran doesn't break off during an earthquake, right?). I've heard that before. What I wanted to know is how much the ocean levels in those areas have risen in the past few years. That wasn't ever addressed. Al even went so far as to discuss how much of Antarctica has melted already (the Larsen ice shelf) but never showed how/if this has affected these areas. I'm just curious.
Honestly, I think the thing that struck me the most was seeing how far behind the US is when it comes to reducing our effect on the planet. It's downright shameful. It's not as if we're not leading the way in being environmentally friendly. We're so far behind other countries. How is it that we're so darn great that we can go and take over other countries to make them more like us and 'free' them but we can't even figure out how to reduce our emissions?
In my opinion we have no right being anywhere else until we can blaze ahead of the rest and prove that we have something to offer other countries. When we're the ones lagging so far behind it's just ridiculous. I'm not saying we went into Iraq to help them be more environmentally friendly. I just think we have to have all our eggs in order in the basket before we go around 'helping' others.
I honestly hope more people see this video. I think we're so focused on ourselves, on making money at any cost that we don't even take a minute to think of how we could help the environment - how we could help anything outside our own lives. This country is so wrapped up with big oil that though we have the technology and the ability to make better cars and have cleaner industry we don't do it. It's scary.
Anyway, I enjoyed it. I usually enjoy documentaries, just like I enjoy nonfiction. I'm a believer in the world being much crazier on its own than anything we can make up.
A few criticisms:
1. I could have done without the Al Gore interjections. What does his run for presidency have to do with global warming? Why do I need to see him stroll through the post 9/11 airport security? I highly doubt he goes through like a normal American, anyway. I thought the material was good enough on its own. I didn't need Al's political opinions thrown in.
2. There's a part where he discusses the melting of Antarctica and Greenland. Very interesting, though I wasn't really surprised Florida, Manhattan and San Francisco would one day be underwater (that is if San Fran doesn't break off during an earthquake, right?). I've heard that before. What I wanted to know is how much the ocean levels in those areas have risen in the past few years. That wasn't ever addressed. Al even went so far as to discuss how much of Antarctica has melted already (the Larsen ice shelf) but never showed how/if this has affected these areas. I'm just curious.
Honestly, I think the thing that struck me the most was seeing how far behind the US is when it comes to reducing our effect on the planet. It's downright shameful. It's not as if we're not leading the way in being environmentally friendly. We're so far behind other countries. How is it that we're so darn great that we can go and take over other countries to make them more like us and 'free' them but we can't even figure out how to reduce our emissions?
In my opinion we have no right being anywhere else until we can blaze ahead of the rest and prove that we have something to offer other countries. When we're the ones lagging so far behind it's just ridiculous. I'm not saying we went into Iraq to help them be more environmentally friendly. I just think we have to have all our eggs in order in the basket before we go around 'helping' others.
I honestly hope more people see this video. I think we're so focused on ourselves, on making money at any cost that we don't even take a minute to think of how we could help the environment - how we could help anything outside our own lives. This country is so wrapped up with big oil that though we have the technology and the ability to make better cars and have cleaner industry we don't do it. It's scary.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
unsettling
So much to say, so little time. I suppose that's the story of the holidays.
So for now I'll leave you with this bit o' creepiness:
So for now I'll leave you with this bit o' creepiness:
It's none other than Suri Cruise. The background picture is supposedly from some clean air proposition ad - the site claims the baby looks like Suri. Interesting, but beside the point.
Is that a goofy looking kid or what?
Friday, December 15, 2006
the girly doctor
Yesterday afternoon I paid $10 to have a cold, metal appliance shoved up my, well, girl parts, and get felt up by a man who wasn't my husband.
That's right, it was time for my annual visit to the OBGYN. It's always the same thing - chat with the doctor, get checked out, get prescription, leave as fast as possible. Only this time it started off all wrong. The nurse came in, weighed me (ack), took my blood pressure, then left me to undress (bottoms only) and wrap myself in a paper sheet. Not too difficult. For normal folks, that is.
Apparently I wasn't able to master the sheet. It's long, so I attempted to fold it in half before wrapping it, noticing it barely came all the way around. This caused me to hold on tight while maneuvering myself onto the table, which caused the sheet to rip right by my ass. Nice. I got up, refolded, and did the same thing, causing it to rip again. What the fuck? The thing seemed to be a hundred years old, basically disintegrating into dust before my very eyes. Who do they make those things for? I'm relatively thin, and if I'm having trouble, what happens to the larger gals? It's crazy.
I finally realize this stupid sheet isn't going to work. I need a new one, and pronto. I frantically search every drawer and cabinet in the room while my bare ass is hanging out for anyone who might walk into the room at any time, aka the male doctor. There are no sheets. Finally I locate a new, unopened box on the floor. Do I open it? Hell yes. I got out my keys, opened that sucker, and grabbed a new sheet asap. I chucked the other one in the trash can and managed to successfully wrap the new sheet around me and get onto the table sans mishap.
Of course by this time I'm sweating in my thick sweater and panting. Great. Luckily it was a few minutes before he actually made it into the room. Whew. Crisis averted.
He decided to put me on a different pill when I described the horrible moodiness that takes over my body lately during that special time of the month. I mean it's bad. I really feel sorry for the people in my life during that week. So he writes a new prescription and sends me on my way with a bag of samples of the new pill. I'm sure there's not a generic for this one yet, so I'll have to pay more than usual, which makes the samples especially helpful.
I peeked in the bag once in my car and noticed 3 months worth of samples as well as a nice little cosmetics-type bag (unfortunately with the name of the pill all over it, rendering it unusable). The bag had a month of pills plus a condom (?) and a lip gloss (?). Lots of scenarios ran through my head at that time, none of which made the least bit of sense. I let it go. Who can't use a spare condom and lip gloss?
That's right, it was time for my annual visit to the OBGYN. It's always the same thing - chat with the doctor, get checked out, get prescription, leave as fast as possible. Only this time it started off all wrong. The nurse came in, weighed me (ack), took my blood pressure, then left me to undress (bottoms only) and wrap myself in a paper sheet. Not too difficult. For normal folks, that is.
Apparently I wasn't able to master the sheet. It's long, so I attempted to fold it in half before wrapping it, noticing it barely came all the way around. This caused me to hold on tight while maneuvering myself onto the table, which caused the sheet to rip right by my ass. Nice. I got up, refolded, and did the same thing, causing it to rip again. What the fuck? The thing seemed to be a hundred years old, basically disintegrating into dust before my very eyes. Who do they make those things for? I'm relatively thin, and if I'm having trouble, what happens to the larger gals? It's crazy.
I finally realize this stupid sheet isn't going to work. I need a new one, and pronto. I frantically search every drawer and cabinet in the room while my bare ass is hanging out for anyone who might walk into the room at any time, aka the male doctor. There are no sheets. Finally I locate a new, unopened box on the floor. Do I open it? Hell yes. I got out my keys, opened that sucker, and grabbed a new sheet asap. I chucked the other one in the trash can and managed to successfully wrap the new sheet around me and get onto the table sans mishap.
Of course by this time I'm sweating in my thick sweater and panting. Great. Luckily it was a few minutes before he actually made it into the room. Whew. Crisis averted.
He decided to put me on a different pill when I described the horrible moodiness that takes over my body lately during that special time of the month. I mean it's bad. I really feel sorry for the people in my life during that week. So he writes a new prescription and sends me on my way with a bag of samples of the new pill. I'm sure there's not a generic for this one yet, so I'll have to pay more than usual, which makes the samples especially helpful.
I peeked in the bag once in my car and noticed 3 months worth of samples as well as a nice little cosmetics-type bag (unfortunately with the name of the pill all over it, rendering it unusable). The bag had a month of pills plus a condom (?) and a lip gloss (?). Lots of scenarios ran through my head at that time, none of which made the least bit of sense. I let it go. Who can't use a spare condom and lip gloss?
Thursday, December 14, 2006
why to not buy new furniture at xmas time
It was probably a bad thing for us to buy new furniture in the first place, much less during the holidays. Seriously, all I want to do is go home, get into my PJs, and lounge on the couch. I don't want to wrap presents, and certainly don't want to brave the crowds to shop for presents still needing to be bought.
I don't want to cook, or clean house, or walk the poor hound. No laundry, Christmas cards, or yardwork of any kind. It's so sad. I just want to sink into the comfy, soft, warm, cushy new couch and watch movies. I do these things, but regretfully, as they're keeping me from my new digs.
Why do I continue to send Christmas cards every year? I think they're the thing I dread most about the season. I wait and wait, dreading the thought, then finally break down and do them. They usually end up taking no time at all. And I'm not a procrastinator. That's how much I dread them. Hardley any of my friends do them. I hope, hope they're a dying tradition. Wouldn't Thanksgiving cards make more sense? Letting friends/family know you are thankful that they're in your life? Then you can get them done and out of the way before the big holiday rush starts.
Do they even make Thanksgiving cards? If so, I'm all about that next year. Get ready.
I don't want to cook, or clean house, or walk the poor hound. No laundry, Christmas cards, or yardwork of any kind. It's so sad. I just want to sink into the comfy, soft, warm, cushy new couch and watch movies. I do these things, but regretfully, as they're keeping me from my new digs.
Why do I continue to send Christmas cards every year? I think they're the thing I dread most about the season. I wait and wait, dreading the thought, then finally break down and do them. They usually end up taking no time at all. And I'm not a procrastinator. That's how much I dread them. Hardley any of my friends do them. I hope, hope they're a dying tradition. Wouldn't Thanksgiving cards make more sense? Letting friends/family know you are thankful that they're in your life? Then you can get them done and out of the way before the big holiday rush starts.
Do they even make Thanksgiving cards? If so, I'm all about that next year. Get ready.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
nauesa on a tuesday
Maybe it's because I think I'm getting sick, but everything that comes out of everyone's mouth today at the office makes me want to gag. It's repulsive. Does anyone else ever have these days? Why oh why can't I have an office with a door???
Especially the turd who asks 'How we doin' today?' That drives me totally insane. I'm surprised he asks me that anymore, since I can't seem to control the look of revulsion on my face. You'd think he'd get the hint eventually. The best thing he ever said to me was when I was wearing my surgical shoe. He asked 'When you get her off?' Her. It's a fucking shoe, not a girl. And it's held together with velcro. 'She' can come off anytime, asshat.
I'll stop now before I make a total bitch of myself. Probably too late.
Especially the turd who asks 'How we doin' today?' That drives me totally insane. I'm surprised he asks me that anymore, since I can't seem to control the look of revulsion on my face. You'd think he'd get the hint eventually. The best thing he ever said to me was when I was wearing my surgical shoe. He asked 'When you get her off?' Her. It's a fucking shoe, not a girl. And it's held together with velcro. 'She' can come off anytime, asshat.
I'll stop now before I make a total bitch of myself. Probably too late.
Friday, December 08, 2006
silly popos...
We had a big old party at work last night for our clients. It's basically a holiday party, but we don't call it that. Wouldn't want to offend anyone who doesn't like holidays. Anyway, it was a blast. One client brought in home brewed beer - and it was awesome. He had a spiced wheat, which I've never tried. Yummy.
So I was out to lunch with my friend who is 8 months pregnant today (also a co-worker) and she said when she was out talking to the cops (we have to have cops direct traffic because it gets so crazy) one of them made mention of her pregnancy. He gave her his phone number, and told her to call him when she goes into labor so he could deliver her baby. In all seriousness. He said he wants to see life brought into this world because he's seen so many taken away.
Is that strange or what? Mind you, he's not a doctor. He's a cop. And a Creve Coeur cop at that - really, how much death has he seen in Creve Coeur? Nice, suburban Creve Coeur? She thought it was funny. It was, a little, but way creepier than funny. Yes, Mr. PoPo, I'd love it if you delivered my baby. Hospital? Doctor? Nah, who needs that? The back of a cop car would do just fine. Thank you for asking.
Creepy.
So I was out to lunch with my friend who is 8 months pregnant today (also a co-worker) and she said when she was out talking to the cops (we have to have cops direct traffic because it gets so crazy) one of them made mention of her pregnancy. He gave her his phone number, and told her to call him when she goes into labor so he could deliver her baby. In all seriousness. He said he wants to see life brought into this world because he's seen so many taken away.
Is that strange or what? Mind you, he's not a doctor. He's a cop. And a Creve Coeur cop at that - really, how much death has he seen in Creve Coeur? Nice, suburban Creve Coeur? She thought it was funny. It was, a little, but way creepier than funny. Yes, Mr. PoPo, I'd love it if you delivered my baby. Hospital? Doctor? Nah, who needs that? The back of a cop car would do just fine. Thank you for asking.
Creepy.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma
What is the point of having gas appliances if they require electricity to work???
We were only out of power for 18 hours or so, unlike last time. But I feel lucky - there are still people out now. That just plain sucks. At least there's not so much worry about food going bad when it's so cold outside. Only hypothermia.
We were only out of power for 18 hours or so, unlike last time. But I feel lucky - there are still people out now. That just plain sucks. At least there's not so much worry about food going bad when it's so cold outside. Only hypothermia.
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