the drunken elderly

When I'm old and decrepit, please send me to a place like this. It can be the crappiest place in the world, as long as it has a bar. After all, if I'm drunk all day long, who cares what the bed's like, or what the food's like? In fact, you can skip the home all together - just park my ass in a barstool at the corner bar, or wheel me in there and put on the brakes.