8 annoying things about facebook

1. People who befriend everyone and their brother so they can have a big friend count. Even if it means befriending someone you haven't spoken to in years without so much as a 'hey, how the eff are you?'
2. People who spend so much time doing stupid crap that it floods your news feed.
3. People who can't use the status line correctly. For example, 'Bob is I hate people.' You can delete the 'is' and manipulate your language to make it work. Not that difficult.
4. People who join every cause in the book and ask you to join too.
5. People who hand out things like flair, beer, and presents.
6. When I get random emails from Facebook telling me so-and-so has commented on my status, sent me a message, etc., but I don't have any friends by that name.
7. People who answer questions directed to you just because they know the answer and they're online 24/7.
8. People who post status updates that can't possibly be true. For example, 'Bob is cooking dinner right now.' No you're not, you're on the computer. Try 'Bob is taking a break from cooking dinner.'

I just realized almost all of these are actually about people, and not about Facebook. Me? Annoyed with people? I cannot imagine such a thing.

You'd think being so annoyed with Facebook would keep me away, yet I find myself back their at least daily. I'm so nosy.

dilemma

So as I previously posted, I've become somewhat of a Starbuck's regular at the location near my office. It went to a whole new level yesterday though. The girl behind the counter remembered my name (which is another story all together - why do they need to know my name in the first place?).

This bothers me in and of itself because I'm not exactly the type of person to become a regular anywhere. First because I don't frequent the same places too much - it gets boring. Second because I'm more of a private person, and this doesn't correspond well to being a regular. But I could deal with it. I like their coffee dammit.

The real reason it bothers me though is I absolutely CANNOT STAND the girl who called me by name. And she is always there in the mornings. I can't stand even the sight of her face, it sickens me. First, she's a complete bitch to her co-workers. She's very condescending, with an air of being better than everyone else. Which is totally undeserved, as she works the same job as them and isn't even that cute. Well, she might be cute except she expends no energy whatsoever to even making sure her hair has touched a brush.

And she acts all nice and stuff towards the customers (like remembering my name) but I can tell it's just an act. Almost too nice...as if she has to work extra hard to cover up the fact that she's puking on the inside from disgust over having to communicate with the likes of us. It makes me ill.

So I'm thinking I may not frequent this Starbuck's anymore. Which would be a good thing I guess, since I don't really need to spend the money, and there's not really another location that is convenient. I think the combination of my already not-so-happy morning self and the urge to want to punch her in the face might get out of control one of these days, which would obviously be bad. Very bad.

It sucks though. Maybe she'll quit.

ugh

Today I walked by my work friend making copies and I said 'makin' copies' a la Rob Schneider on SNL in the early 90s. She smiled. When I got upstairs I realized she probably had no idea what I was talking about since she was like 7 or 8 at the time this skit was on. D'oh. I'm so effing old.

randomness

• Oh my god, Michael Jackson is 50. Shit. That's crazy.


• Random, impersonal gifts are so silly. Really. I appreciate the time and effort, but I'd rather you took the money used and gave it to someone who needs it.


• Sometimes something as simple as a face makes my stomach turn. Especially when it's the face of the biggest douchebag in the company. I can't help it. Rein in the douchebaggery a hair, would ya?


• I saw a guy sitting alone at a bar (I was buying a gift card) having a beer last Saturday afternoon while I was running like mad to finish up Christmas shopping. I was insanely jealous.


• Babies aren't always fussy because they're hungry. They're fussy for lots of reasons. Just because I have a fussy baby (imagine that) doesn't mean she's not getting enough to eat.


• I really like those iridescent blue Christmas lights. They're dull yet blinding at the same time.


• I miss my best friend and so wish she lived here.


• I have no self control when it comes to sweets. So far today (it's 9:30 am) I've eaten a cookie, a piece of candy, and a rice crispy treat (in addition to my morning cup of oatmeal). And there's no sign of it stopping.


• A little bit of snow or ice every day is stupid. Just dump it out on us and get it over with. Snow my ass in the house. Because anything less is just a hassle.


• I made fun of my sister for getting a new cell phone with a keyboard just so she could text easier. Now I want one.


• My daughter is the cutest kid in the whole world. Just so you know.

• I keep getting the music from my kid's toys stuck in my head. It's not good.

Okay, that's all for today. Merry Xmas --

• Oh wait, that reminds me - why Xmas? That doesn't make sense. What does 'X' stand for? A cross? Merry Cross-mas? That doesn't work either. Please enlighten me.

-- (or whatever you celebrate) to all!

'c' is for cookie...

I love my co-worker. She brought in homemade chocolate chip cookie dough (and believe me she makes the best chocolate chip cookies in the world) and baked it at work, and just brought me a warm cookie fresh from the oven. Ah, pure bliss.

mornings suck

Most days I hate leaving my little Beezer and going to work. It's easier because she's with my parents all day and they're great with her, but it's still hard. Especially now that she's getting to be so much fun - giggly, very vocal, playing with toys. It's hard to believe how much she changes week to week, sometimes even day to day.

That said, it's mornings like this one that make it a little easier. The Beezer decided to wake up at 5:40 while I was getting ready (we usually leave at 6). Hubby had to entertain her (more like keep her from screaming) until I was ready to go, and of course, by this time she's starving, and you'd think we hadn't fed her for weeks. Girl wants what she wants when she wants it, that's for sure. So normally if she's a bit fussy she's out the minute we get in the car and get going. Not this morning. She cried the whole way to my parents' (a 20 minute drive). And it was rainy and gross, not fun on a busy interstate.

Of course she fell asleep the minute we turned on to their street. Just my luck. Once she eats she's fine - giggly, smiley, her old self. I guess she's just not a morning person. She's my child after all.

oh my

These people have way too much time on their hands. And money, for that matter. Wake me when Christmas is over, please.

one year ago

Exactly a year ago yesterday (November 30) I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I took it even though I knew already that I was pregnant, but after a few false alarms I didn't think Hubby would believe me without proof. Okay so I used to have too much time on my hands at work and my imagination works overtime.

After a year full of ups and downs our little Beezer is here and will be four months old on Wednesday. Oh, how time flies. I kept a journal during my pregnancy so I'd remember every bit of it (since most likely it won't be happening again unless Hubby and I go off the deep end) and read some of it today (like I mentioned above way too much time on my hands at work) to try and remember what it was like to feel her moving inside of me. It's amazing, and kind of sad, that even though it was only a few short months ago it's hard to remember what it felt like.

Every time I look at my sweet (and oh so fiery) little Beezer I'm thankful she's here with us. After almost losing her halfway through each day with her is very special. Sometimes I think about missing out on a 'normal' pregnancy and feel sad that I didn't get to live every day without fear and anxiety and the timing of contractions, but then I see her big old slobbery gummy smile and everything is forgotten.

I have the coolest kid in the world, even if she is headstrong and is partial to 'squawking' and upsetting her cousin. I do feel however that she may be my just dues for being such a difficult teenager, we shall see. She's going to be fun and full of surprises, that's for sure.

observations on the current state of affairs

I was putting my latest gas purchase in my checkbook today and just for kicks looked back in June to see how much it cost me to fill up then. $52. Today? $19. Wow. It's been a long time.

Isn't that great? Being able to fill up for less than $20? Sure is. Up until I look at my 401(k) and see a total reversal of fate - it's worth about half what it was worth in June. Well that's kind of a lie, it's only down 30% in the last 3 months, 40% over the last year. I feel I've fared OK through all of this poopoo, I know most haven't. And thank goodness I don't have to retire anytime soon, I can sit back and buy into these funds at rock-bottom prices and will be able to see everything come back. It will come back. Who knows when, but it will.

It's interesting how things work. One turn of good fortune cannot be enjoyed quite as much because you're getting kicked in the ass somewhere else.

eek!

There is a mouse currently residing somewhere in my kitchen. Hubby saw it a while ago and told me about it, and I determined that he was crazy because weeks went by without so much as a peep from the critter. He even thought he was crazy and imagined it.

No such luck. I was coming up from the basement and saw it scurry across the counter top (the very one we use for cooking! Ick!). It ran behind the TV we have in the corner (yes we are junkies) and disappeared. Then last night my lovely daughter woke up at 12:45 to eat and as I sat down with her on the couch I saw it make a u-turn at the threshold of the kitchen and the living room and beeline back into the kitchen *shudder*.

I woke hubby up and told him he was to go to the store after work and buy a trap. A humane one, of course, not a glue trap - he'll never make that mistake again. In college his roommate bought a glue trap and got the mouse - problem solved! Oh, until he realized it's feet are permanently stuck to the trap and it's alive and was faced with the decision of letting it gnaw its own feet off or killing it (which he did with a rock).

There hasn't been any confrontation between my greyhound and the mouse that I know about, and I'm hoping it stays this way. I do not want to come home to a bloody pulp in the guest bed (aka greyhound's bed) (aka her kitchen). I do not, however, worry much about this because 1. the mouse is small and fast and can hide and 2. my hound is getting old and extremely unmotivated unless cheese is involved.

We need to strategically place the trap however in a place unseen by the hound. I have visions of her finding the mouse in a trap 1. being bothered all day by it and 2. doing unsavory things to the trap in order to get at said mouse.

It took plenty of courage for me to go into the kitchen this morning to get my lunch ready and use the neti pot (cannot go a day without this miracle worker). I could see myself leaning over the sink with water (and snot) running out of my nose and being scared half to death by a mouse that I rationally know won't bother me and is more scared of me than I am of it but of which I am irrationally scared shitless.

Oh joy, the wonders of home ownership. Why can't I have a dog that will catch small animals and dispose of them properly instead of wounding them enough to put them out of commission and die a slow, painful death?

things you should never hear at work

'It makes your testicles shrink.'

breastfeeding is messy

When I signed up for breastfeeding (in my head anyway) no one told me it's not such a great idea to do it when you work in a dry-clean-only type of environment. I'm wearing a really cute heather gray pencil skirt and have managed to spill milk on it twice now. It's not cool having to walk around the office with big old wet spots on a heather grey skirt - I either look like my bladder control is non-existant or like a messy slob, or both. I suppose from now on I should wear lots of black (which is not a problem).

Do they make bibs for this purpose? They really should. Perhaps this is my calling, my cash cow - developer of the pumping bib. Look out Bill Gates, here I come! Or I could just go and get a kitchen apron and save the world from yet another useless product.

Seriously though, it takes an acrobat to hold one pump on while gently removing the other and simultaneously rushing in with a paper towel to clean up any drippings. It's a miracle I haven't lost it and spilled everything all over myself (my sister cannot say the same thing, poor girl - at least her pants weren't dry clean only).

no freaking way

A man named Milton Betts has had the hiccups for a year. A year! I'm a mess if I have them for more than a few minutes! Hiccups are the most irritating things in the whole world. I get super pissy whenever I get them (ask hubby - he finds it hilarious). I know I couldn't deal with them for a year. Poor, poor man. Seriously, I'm horrified at the thought. Ugh.

i.am.a.mother

That is so weird. The other day a girl at work called me 'mama' - as in 'What's going on, Mama?' Then yesterday someone asked me how motherhood is treating me. I guess it's sort of like saying 'my husband' after you're married - it takes a while for it to sink in and start sounding normal.

I suppose I've always been sort of a detached person. Things don't hit me the way they do others. Like when a friend was killed by a drunk driver - I didn't cry until weeks later, when something reminded me of him. A lot of things just seem surreal until some sort of reality sinks in.

Also like when I almost delivered the Beezer at 19 1/2 weeks when I was leaking fluid. I knew up until that point that I was pregnant, that I was going to be a mother, but it hadn't really sunk in until I was faced with losing her.

Maybe it'll seem more real when she starts calling me mama or mommy. Not that it matters if it seems real or not, it is. I have a little Beezer.

I am a mother.

sucked in by the man

I'm so addicted to Starbucks. I swear they put some sort of chemical in there that keeps me coming back. First it was the evil pumpkin spice latte...so delicious. Now it's the cafe misto with one sugar - regular coffee with steamed milk. Yum. So much better than the crap we have at my office:

Of course we have to be fancy and get a Keurig k-cup maker. In theory these are great - you can get tons of different varieties so everyone is happy. However, they severely lack in taste. It's kind of like drinking a cup of burnt rubber. Horrible.

I'd be perfectly happy with a freshly brewed pot of Folger's. Hell, I'd even enjoy the store brand beans - that's just fine. Instead I'm forced to drink total crap made only marginally better with a flavored creamer OR stop at Starbucks and drop $2.30 on a cup of coffee.

You see my dilemma? I don't have a ton of willpower when it comes to food/beverages anyway (note my lunch cooler stuffed with M&Ms, Lemonheads, 3 Musketeers, and Whoppers swiped from the bowl in the lunchroom), so resisting the urge to stop at Starbucks when I pass by one every day and there's only nasty coffee waiting for me at work is next to impossible.

Remember when I used to be one of those people who thought Starbucks was gross? Sure, their sugary lattes were drinkable, and who doesn't like a mocha, but the regular coffee? Nah. Not worth it.

Stupid Starbucks. Maybe the one on my route will be one of the stores that closes. Yeah right.

why I love living in SoCoMo

Friday night the hubby was outside fixating on his new truck when our alley neighbor drove through. First let me explain what I mean by 'alley neighbor'. We've lived in our house for over 5 years now. There's an alley next to our driveway. The alley is a way for people on another street to get to their garages. It's also the only way to get to one house. We're not sure how this works - the house isn't actually on a street. What is its address? I've never ventured back there, and for the longest time I thought the only thing back there was the one house - I never considered people would use the alley to access a garage.

There are people driving back there all the time. Mostly people in beat up hoosiermobiles sporting flowing mullets and smoking cigarettes. I always thought these people were going to visit the alley neighbors who surely were cooking up meth - why else would there be an ongoing stream of cars driving back there? They owners have always been pleasant towards us, I just assumed there were meth addicts. Whatever. Not my place to judge, right?

Once the weather got nice and a cute little Bosnian grocery opened up on the corner (it carries beer) odd folks started walking down the alley to the store to get beer and whatever else at all hours of the day. I'm talking a parade of freak show looking people - guys with limps, missing teeth, stringy hair, cut-off clothes - some with one or two oddities, some with many more. I don't understand fully what happens back there because I've never been - I envision a cave of some sort where unkempt folk squat and cook over an open fire. It makes no sense, it's just what happens in my head.

We've had interactions with the alley neighbors once or twice. One time he rang the doorbell at 3 am to tell us our dome light was on - thanks dude, I'd rather have a dead battery then to have the shit scared out of me in the middle of the night. But it's nice, I suppose.

Okay, back to Friday night. Alley neighbor stops his car as he's making his way back to talk to the hubby. Apparently one night he was 'shitty drunk' and decided he wanted some tomatoes from our garden, so he helped himself to a few. Hubby, amused and I think relieved, laughed it off and said he could take some any time he wanted.

Hearing hubby tell the story was of course hilarious, as he was able to do the hoosier drawl perfectly. I also found it hilarious that our 'shitty drunk' neighbor couldn't live without tomatoes of all things while drunk. White Castle, I get. Greasy pizza, awesome. But tomatoes? Not what I reach for when I have the drunken munchies. If he wants tomatoes that bad, have at it. As long as I don't come home to another boat motor on my back porch I'm good (that's a story for another time).

Only in SoCoMo, my friends.

i'm baaaaaaaaack!

Hello world! I'm back. I decided to return for a couple of reasons:

1. I'm back at work after having my wonderful daughter, the Beatle. Life got crazy there for a while what with my pregnancy issues, and being at home all day every day means a serious lack of motivation. And being at work means I need things to fill up a boring day.

2. Some crazy shit is happening in the world as well as in our little hoosier neighborhood. The other day we saw a sign advertising 'Shit - tsu' puppies - hilarious. Who wants shih-tzu puppies anyway, much less from a moron who can't spell the name of the dogs he's breeding.

3. A very kind reader left a comment on my last post, I'll reprint it here:

Nomad said:
http://nomadicjoe.blogspot.com/

Oh what a shame that you havent written more. I like your style, very natural and conversational. One of the problem with reading blogs is just about the time you start to understand the whole life condition the writer stops adding. And the problem writing blogs is that it is very much like having a conversation in the dark.. you dont know if anybody is out there. Well, please add updates more regularly, a person with talent has a responsibility! Take care and I'll be watching you.. (your blog actually)

What a kind fellow! I am a good writer, aren't I? That leads me to number 4...

4. My writing group is back together after our break up earlier this year and I need to get on the ball. This isn't exactly fiction, but it is output of some sort, which is better than nothing.

Prepare yourselves!

omg!

NKOTB was on the Today Show today! What a way to wake up on a dreary Friday morning. Wow, talk about taking me back to the good ol' days...of an obsessesd sixth grader, that is.

Contrary to the above picture, they're actually all very good looking guys. But I have to claim sweet justice - my favorite back in the day, Jonathan, a choice that brought me so much grief (I was all about picking the underdog, folks), is now the cutest, I do believe. Ha! I sure can pick 'em.

Apparently they're going to reunite for a performance on the show in May. I'm actually finding myself a little excited. I know I'm not the only one, judging from the screaming crowd on the Plaza. Then again, most of those kids can't possibly remember NKOTB in all of their glory, but that's okay. I'm just a kid at heart, right?

puzzler

We have a garage at work. It's small, but big enough to house all of our cars. It does suck to park way in back, which is all that's left if you get here late enough, because you have to walk a bit to get to the building. It's also on the ground floor, so you have to either take 2 flights of stairs up or use the elevator.

I normally park in the side lot which is a floor above the garage. It allows my car to warm in the sun (when it exists 'round these parts, that is), and also allows for a bit of a speedier get away in the afternoons.

What I don't get - why anyone would park in the uncovered side lot when they're forecasting 6-10 inches of snow during the work hours. I know forecasting the weather in St. Louis is essentially grasping straws, so we could end up with anywhere from an inch to a foot. But sheesh, the storm was ALL OVER the news yesterday and this morning. You'd have to not watch TV, listen to the radio, or use the internet to not have heard about it. And even then, it iced a bit last night, and was icing on the commute in.

I'm guessing those folk are just a glutton for punishment. Because even if it snows just a little they're going to have to brush it off, so any time saved by parking on the 1st floor as opposed to the ground floor will be negated.

It happens every time. I don't get it. One person in particular makes a practice of parking on the side lot during inclement weather and pulling up the wipers so they don't get stuck to the windshield. She obviously knows there's going to be scraping to do, but would rather do it than park in the garage.

I guess I've spent enough time in my life scraping my car and will do just about anything to avoid this.

simply staggering

This report says that at least 1% of US adults are incarcerated, the highest number ever. Wow. That's eye-opening.

But even scarier is the fact that the 50 states spent $49 billion - yes, BILLION - on corrections last year.

Scariest of all, that $49 billion is six times greater - yes, SIX - than what was spent on higher education.

I picture those two stats skipping hand in hand, down the well-worn path of American mediocrity. When will The Man get a clue?

snake eats family dog as kids watch

In Australia an 18 foot python ate a chihuahua at a family's home. Apparently it had been stalking the dog for days, and had even been in the dog's bed.

I know Australia is 'the ouback' and all, and there are apparently wild creatures everywhere, but seriously. If I knew an 18 foot python was stalking my hound, I probably wouldn't let her out of my sight. In fact, I'd probably barricade us all in the house until someone could come and remove the seriously huge thing (which was done, by the way, after it ate the dog).

Obviously it was an outside dog, as it had a bed outside near the snake. That's great. But don't claim to be horrified when the snake eats your annoying little yappy dog (who could blame it, really) after STALKING IT FOR 3 DAYS. Don't act all surprised.

Outside dog + 18 foot python on the hunt = bring the dog inside and alert authorities.

It's not rocket science.

Nice picture, by the way, AP. Mmmmmm, delicious.

cletus the fetus

Today I took my 12 year old 'little brother' out for lunch since he was off school (but I'm not off work - boo). After I dropped him off I told him the news - that I'm having a baby in August (y'all knew that by now, right? All 3 of my readers?).

His first response: 'What?'

I repeated myself.

His second response: 'Are you kidding?'

I laughed.

His third response: 'So I'm gonna have a little sister too?'

I told him yes, or maybe a little brother, we don't know yet.

He was so excited! I walked him to the door because he had leftovers and couldn't hold it all, and it was the first thing he said to his Granny - 'Hey Granny - I'm gonna be a big brother!'

What a cutie.

Australia apologizes to Aborigines

Too little too late, but at least it's something. Perhaps the US of A should take a page from their book.

yay for google

I love search engines and web trackers. They're an endless source of entertainment. Here's some of the latest ways folks have ended up on my blog via search engines:

ameren ue sucks
velcro shoe poor people
ikea caskets
miley cyrus in st. louis throwing up
kathleen england sucks

and possibly the best of all time:
pictures of vaginas throwing up

Not sure that one can be topped, but seems like I'm surprised every time I check this. So who knows. There's surely an endless amount of morons out there.

it's finally over

So the dreaded day is finally over - I went on Saturday to see the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus 3D movie, 'The Best of Both Worlds' with my 'little' bro. To sum things up - it most certainly is not the best of both worlds, or any world, for that matter.

Miley Cyrus is a cute girl, she's got a good voice, and I believe she even writes some, if not all, of her own music. And she's 15 - that's something to be able to perform in front of a massive crowd at that age. And her music isn't that bad. It isn't that good, but hey, even I liked crap as a young tot - NKOTB, anyone? I was slightly obsessed. Props to my parents for suffering through a concert with me and my dorky big-button wearing friends.

Anyway, I know she lip synched, at least part of the time. I was so bored I actually paid attention. I get that if you're dancing a lot, it's hard to sing. No big deal. Plenty of performers do that. I know she can sing. The most hilarious part was the Jonas Brothers. They might play instruments in real life, and on the album and whatnot, but they totally didn't play them in concert. At one point one of the kids is strumming away on the guitar then stops, hands it to some joe from offstage, and starts singing and dancing, yet the guitar playing doesn't stop. It doesn't take a detective. Then another time the camera pans to one of them playing the piano, and literally, his hands are resting on the keys - not moving at all. Miraculously, however, the piano keeps on playing.

And the clothes. Man, do kids really dress like that? If I had severe amnesia, and this movie was the first thing I saw, I'd think we were back in the heyday of the 80s. Acid wash jeans, black high tops (like Reeboks), leggings, hot pink everywhere - frightening. I swear, the Jonas Brothers were wearing leggings made to look like jeans, that's how tight they were. I get the tight-ish jeans thing with All Stars, but seriously, I could see the outline of their thighs. No, not their thingys - get your head out of the gutter. I did look, though, because theoretically they should have been there. GROSS. And again, I was unbelievably bored.

The 3D was evident, it was kind of neat, but overall a waste of 3D technology. There were previews of 2 3D movies before it started, and those short previews were way cooler than the entire Hannah Montana 3D concert experience.

The kids did seem to like it, and my bro certainly did. He made me listen to the Disney Channel on AM on the car ride to and from the mills, and believe me, I was on teenie-bopper overload. As soon as he got out of the car I felt the urge to listen to something extremely heavy and screamy IE Dimmu Borgir - alas all I had was Dustin Kensrue's solo album (from Thrice), which sufficed as it's a great album.

Now I have 'The Best of Both Worlds' song in my head. Not good. Feeling the urge to strangle myself. Once, fine. Repeatedly, very bad, especially when the only words I know are 'The Best of Both Worlds'. Arrrrrrggggghhhhhhh.

want a hamburger?

This is an example of where your meat comes from. Watch the video. This particular slaughterhouse provides meat for our schools as well as many other places. Bon Appetit!

wishful thinking

Remember that band The Presidents of the United States of America? Probably not, they weren't that memorable other than a few songs. We had the hubby's 15 year old brother in town last weekend and he's hilarious when it comes to messing up song lyrics. We think it may be a small hearing deficiency due to the fact that he hasn't cleaned his ears out in months - or his fingernails, for that matter.

Anyway, the hubby made him a mixed disc with a bunch of stuff on it he thought the bro might like. One of these was 'Lump' by The Presidents (not sure why - in fact I didn't even realize we had this CD, but when you have over a thousand, these things tend to slip through the cracks).

Here's one of the lines:
Mud flowed up into lump's pajamas
she totally confused all the passing piranhas

Clever, no? Anyway, my brother-in-law thought they said 'vaginas' instead of 'pajamas'. Hilarious. Is he an adolescent male, or what???

To clarify, it's not as though the word 'pajamas' is slurred, or anything - it sounds exactly like 'pajamas' and nothing like 'vaginas'.

dreams

I had a dream about Shorty Saturday night. I dreamed that I was at a party and overheard someone talking about her being there. I ran frantically around the house, my mind racing a million miles an hour. I finally found her laying on a bed. I immediately confronted her. What the hell was happening? She said that her whole family had rigged the entire situation, that she'd fallen madly in love shortly after her divorce and needed to escape for a while to get herself together and start a new life with this guy.

I was dumbfounded. Visions from her funeral flashed through my mind, images of her family, devastated, crying, angry, her brother's eulogy. I demanded answers. Her whole family had made up the suicide story? The entire funeral was faked, even the open casket (which incidentally isn't that hard to believe since I've only looked in an open casket once, at Shorty, and no part of it looked real)? They'd even made up the suicide note. Didn't I wonder why there wasn't an obituary in the newspaper?

She looked so sheepish and guilty, yet happy and content at the same time. I was angry. But then I was glad she was alive, glad she was happy, an unusual emotion for her. I had to leave the room, take a minute to process this.

That's all I remember, and I didn't remember it until well into the day on Sunday. I don't know what reminded me of it, but I'm glad it came back. It's amazing how one tiny dream (they last like a couple of seconds, right?) can awaken feelings I've shelved for a while. Honestly I haven't thought of Shorty in some time, and the triggers that cause me to remember her come less and less.

If only she had faked the whole thing. There are so many things I want to tell her, to share with her. What's so strange is that we probably wouldn't even be friends now if she hadn't done this and life went on like normal. So weird to think about.

no whammy!

What's up with game shows nowadays? We watched The Moment of Truth the other night, and man, is it long and drawn out. It took forever for the dumb computer (or whatever) to say if the person was telling the truth or lying. Sheesh. They could have squeezed so many more contestants in if the dumb thing would hurry up a little bit. I'm only slightly impatient - ha.

I get it. It's all about the tension, the anticipation. It worked at first, I suppose, when it started with Millionaire. But now it's just old. Get on with it already.


I miss the good old days when game shows lasted a half hour, and were funny. Remember Press Your Luck? NoWhammyNoWhammyNoWhammy!



And the 100,000 Pyramid? And who could forget the Newlywed Game with Bob Eubanks? That was quality television. They didn't have to rely on lighting tricks or long pauses to hold your attention. I used to love watching those shows.

Now when I see a game show on TV other than Wheel of Fortune (yes, I'm 30 going on 75) I immediately turn it off. Unless it's The Price is Right, of course. Even with Drew Carey (who cannot hold a candle to Bob Barker, sadly).

sicko

The hub and I watched Sicko last night, finally. My first observation - we're both so lucky to have good health insurance. Or let me rephrase - we're both so lucky to never have had major health problems and consequently haven't ever had to do battle with our insurance companies.

Some other observations:

1. Why in the world is our health care industry for-profit as opposed to not-for-profit? Who thought that leaving our health care (and life-or-death decisions) in the hands of greedy corporations was a good idea? Apparently Nixon. Both the hub and myself wondered what health care was like before that. I suppose it's something I shall research on the good old internets.
2. I thought moving to Canada was a good idea when there was talk of a draft for the Iraq fiasco. Seeing this movie made it seem like an even better idea. Canada, eh? The upside - I've heard Vancouver is amazing, and it's a short distance from Seattle, which is also great. The downside - it's freezing ass up there. That would be difficult.
3. If not Canada, perhaps England? The upside - you're living in the UK. The downside - it's so darn far away. But man, over in Europe, they've got it good. They get great vacation, maternity leave, work 35 hours a week, drink wine all the time - sounds good to me. I think the fact that they're so darn relaxed is very appealing. They don't run themselves ragged over there like we do here. Way less stress.
4. Sometimes I'm so darn ashamed of this country. Yes, we have freedoms, blah, blah, blah. But what is 'freedom'? It certainly isn't losing your two year old daughter because you took her to the wrong hospital and your insurance company wouldn't authorize any treatment. It certainly isn't losing your husband because your insurance company wouldn't allow a life saving treatment because it was 'experimental'. Well fuck - he was dying anyway, what's a little 'experimental' treatment going to hurt? And it certainly isn't having your poor ass dropped off, still in your hospital 'gown', in front of a homeless shelter because you can't pay your hospital bill.

Anyway, you should see this movie if you haven't. It's quite eye-opening. And tear-jerking.

you should vote for...

According to this survey, I should vote for Chris Dodd. Which is interesting, for I know little to nothing about him. Perhaps I should pay more attention? I'm still leaning towards Edwards though. Why do I always have to pick the guys who don't have a chance? Ugh, all I know is that I cannot stand Hillary. Gag. And that's saying a lot, as I would love to see a woman president.

sickening

Wow - long time no write!

I was listening to my favorite radio program today, Fresh Air, on NPR. Terry Gross was interviewing David Cay Johnston, author of Free Lunch: How the Wealthiest Americans Enrich Themselves at Government Expense (and Stick You with the Bill). Fascinating. I only heard bits and pieces, but what I heard was enough to make me sick.

I first heard him talking about how big-box stores like Wal-Mart and Cabela's build in certain areas because of big tax breaks offered by the city. No big surprise, I knew that already. But I didn't know that a lot of times the deals involve the store keeping the sales tax paid by its customers. WhatWhatWhat? That's right. When you go to the fantastic Wally World, the amount you pay in sales tax stays right there at the store. It doesn't go, as previously thought, to support your schools, police force, firefighters, or road improvements. It goes to line the pockets of the Waltons. Nice!

I then heard him speak about how Dubya got rich by the building of a new stadium for the Texas Rangers. Yes, because of a baseball team, not oil, or the stock market. Apparently he was 2% owner of the team, and fronted $650K to get the stadium built. The city of Arlington, Texas passed a bill to add a 1/2 cent sales tax increase in order to build the stadium. It's good for the city, right? It'll bring in new business! Believe me, we here in St. Louis know all about new stadiums and all the hoopla that goes on to get them built. Anyway, the stadium cost $191 million (mind boggling, I know) - $135 million came from the sales tax hike, and $56 million from the owners. I don't know the specifics, but after it was built, the owners were allowed to buy it for a fraction of the cost. They then sold it for a big profit, and somehow or another Dubya ended up getting 10% of the profits, a cool $17 million. Quite a return on a $650K investment! I suppose one could say the people of Arlington helped make Dubya quite a fortune (and I'm sure a few select others).

To add insult to injury, that $17 million should have been reported as income on his tax return, (I don't know the particulars - I'm not a tax accountant), but was instead reported as capital gains - assessing a 15% tax instead of whatever his normal tax bracket was. Wow. Must be nice. I know many people abuse the tax system, but many people don't go on to become our fearless leader.

Man, this stuff blows my mind. I know it's perfectly legal. I get it. But it frustrates me that big-box companies go into small towns and put small, hometown companies out of business, all the while collecting our sales taxes. It's disgusting. It further enforces my decision to buy local whenever possible.

a nice balance

One thing that drives me crazy (out of many, believe me you):

Stupid automatic phone systems with voice recognition as the only option. How dumb do I sound saying, slowly and clearly, things like 'Accounts' and 'Representative' out loud, alone, in my cubicle? It's so weird. You definitely can't mumble it. Then you face the wrath of 'I'm sorry, I didn't hear you clearly. Please say the option again.' It's so damn polite. What it really means is 'Speak the fuck up, moron!'. I'd be so much happier if it would just say that instead.

What genius invented the stupid voice recognition system? What good does it do? You still have to listen to the automatic voice rattle off all of the possible choices. Does anyone prefer saying their choice out loud as opposed to just hitting the darn button? It doesn't save any time. Don't most people use these at the office anyway? So stupid. I'd love to sit the inventor down next to the office of the old, loud, crazy guy next to me and listen to him shout his options over and over, then get really pissed, and hang up. Over and over. It's great. Such an improvement.


One thing that's making me feel better about dumb wastes of time:

A hot mug of Wild Oats organic instant hot cocoa. Hands down the best instant cocoa I've ever had. If only I was at home and it was snowing! Then the day would be perfect.

spawn of billy ray

I took my 'little brother' to see Bee Movie last Sunday. It was okay. It probably would have been a little better if he hadn't talked through the entire thing. He's really bad about that. I tell him to ssh, or talk quieter, but it doesn't really work, so usually I give up. Oh well.

When I was driving him home, he found the Disney radio channel on the AM dial (he's 12). The Jonas Brothers came on. I know them because my niece likes them, but that's it. I know nothing else about them. He told me they went on tour with Miley Cyrus (Hanna Montana, for those of you lucky folks who don't know), and that there's a movie coming out with footage from the concert plus some backstage stuff too. I asked him if he wanted to see it, thinking he'd be horrified, but no, he does want to see it.

Doesn't that seem odd? A junior high boy wanting to see Miley Cyrus? And I don't think it's because he 'likes' her, or thinks she's cute. I really think he likes the TV show and her music. I hope he doesn't talk about this at school. As the hub-unit put it, it's a good thing he's at the small, all-boys private school, and not at the mega-huge University City public school. He was picked on enough there, this would probably make him public enemy number one.

So we were at Target yesterday doing some shopping, and the little brother called me twice. I didn't get the calls right away, but called him a little later. He was urgently calling me to tell me the tickets for the above-described movie were on sale. I was confused. Do these tickets work differently than other movie tickets? Turns out it's only going to be in theaters from Feb. 1-7, 2008. Whew, at least I won't have to see it until then.

Is it too much to hope that he will have gotten over this odd fascination by then?

just can't help myself

Quick recap of Saturday's MU-KU game:

AND:

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius

(Real men of genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan.

(Mr. Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan)

Eleven straight wins, you wore that classy "Muck Fizzou" shirt like you meant it

(Pinch me, I'm dreamin'!)

A season of bloated statistics and over-hyped wins against JuniorVarsity competition

(Serve another cupcake!)

Losing to a superior team with better players is no match for your what-if scenarios and could-have-been dreams

(The field goal missed by inches!)

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light you emphatic engineer of excuses. After all, you would've won the game if it was played somewhere else!

(Mr Excuse Ridden Over-Confident Kansas Football Fan.)

Bud Light. St. Louis, MISSOURI

M-I-Z

F-K-U!

What a game on Saturday night. I was confident the Tigers would win, but man, they totally dominated. The score didn't quite reflect the damage we inflicted on the Jayhawks. I believe that was the best game I've ever seen, by far. And the game next week promises to be just as good. But KU did give us a run for our money during the second quarter - I admit, I was waiting the whole time for Mizzou to crumble. I suppose it's just instinct after all of those seasons when they did manage to fall apart.

We've got some unfinished business against Oklahoma, and this time it'll be on neutral territory, not at Norman. And we'll be riding high off of the KU win. Man, I'm excited to watch it now, and it's only Monday morning.

I'm excited even though I just overheard the bigwigs here talking about chartering a flight to San Antonio for the game this weekend. Must be nice, right? They all went to the game on Saturday and sat in some special box on the field. Stupid rich people and their stupid ability to do anything they want. Makes me want to puke! I definitely do not have any tolerance for that on a Monday morning. And I suppose I'll get to hear about it all week. Yay me.

eating poop

Have you heard of 'two girls, one cup'? If not, it's probably for the best. Whatever you do, don't go out on the internets looking for it. I kid you not. I refused to watch, but curiosity got the better of my hub-unit, and he gagged for the rest of the night whenever he thought about it. This after only watching the first five seconds from across the room. In fact, I was in the shower, and after making horrible noises in the other room (that I could hear above the shower, mind you) he rushed in and stood by the toilet for a good five minutes just in case.

What you should do instead is check out that's not news.com. Apparently there has been a rash of people taping others watching the video for the first time. They're hilarious. Much funnier, apparently, than watching the actual video, though as I mentioned earlier, I wouldn't know. I'd heard rumors about what it contained, and after hearing one of the girls in the youtube video actually describe what was happening, that was enough.

That's why the internets is so great. Two girls can make a video of themselves doing despicable and completely wrong things, and it becomes the next big thing that everyone's talking about. Eating poop can make you a 'celebrity'. I suppose fame is worth it at any price, huh? What a world.

oh, the possibilities...

This is a big weekend for college football fans, especially for Tiger (5th in the nation) fans. The weekend could play out a few different ways.

1. Missouri and Kansas U lose. That would suck (the Missouri part, anyway), but hey, we'll be back bigger and stronger than last year, right? We'd have to put our Big 12 faith in Oklahoma's hands.
2. Missouri loses, Kansas wins. That would suck horribly. But then we'd come back next weekend and kick their asses.
3. Missouri wins, Kansas loses. That would be frikkin' awesome. Too incredible for words.
4. Missouri wins, Kansas wins. That would be okay too. Cause we'll just kill them next weekend.

But there are a few more possibilities:

1. LSU loses. They've done it once already this year. Could happen again.
2. Oklahoma loses. They've also done it once already this year.

Because Oregon State bit it last night against Arizona, this would leave the top spots up for grabs. It's a possibility, as pointed out by my hub-unit, that Missouri and Kansas U could be 1 & 2 in the nation. Holy crap. That would be something. Then, numbers 1 & 2 would play each other in a regular season game. Unbelievable. And I passed on a ticket to attend this game way back when they went on sale and no one had any idea this could be so huge, thereby allowing my bro-in-law to go instead. Crap. I'm such an idiot!

Of course, chances of this happening are small, but they do exist. That's what's so great about football. Anything can happen.

Quoth the Tiger...Nevermore!

going back home

I spent this past weekend at my parents' house taking care of their dog while they were out of town. The dog can't go to a kennel for reasons I won't go into (it's another whole post in itself), but she's a sweet dog, albeit a bit crazy.

My parents still live in the house where I grew up, and by that I mean spent every year of my life there until the age of 18. I've been gone now for 12 years (with a minor setback), yet when I'm there, it's as if I never left. There are so many memories. I had my first kiss on the front porch, flipped over the handlebars of my bike and broke my thumb in the back yard, laid in bed with Mom and watched TV at night and gossiped about boys and friends, had friends spend the night on the sofa bed in the basement, admired my older sisters when they still lived in the basement, set up massive little people worlds with my younger sister and played countless games of make believe, kicked her ass in Mario Cart on the Super Nintendo, laughed hysterically with my Mom when the ump said 'FOUL BALL' while playing baseball on the Atari, practised catching and hitting balls with my Dad (and coach) in the backyard, waited for Dad to get home every night with my younger sister, punched a hole in the wall of the staircase, cried many tears and shared many hugs. I could go on and on. I was a very lucky girl - I had a great childhood.

I took the dog for a walk around the loop behind my parents' house, the loop that circles the neighborhood pool (a place I went to every day, every summer as a kid, and caused my share of trouble). I passed by so many homes with even more memories. As kids, we ran wild all hours of the day, and even into the evening. We knew all the kids in the neighborhood. A kid could be a huge nerd at school, but during the summers, we were all equals. Summers for me were magical like that. I had my school friends, and separately, my summer friends (though there were a few overlaps).

Anyway, on my walk, it occurred to me how few of those houses had any connection to me now, yet I knew them intimately. I'd been in every single room, yet strangers were there now, or people who wouldn't probably recognize me at all after so many years.

I started typing out a list of my memories of the houses and the people who live(d) there, but really, you don't care about that. It's enough for me to think again about all of those memories. To wonder what happened to some of my best friends at the time, what became of their families. Some I know about, some will be lost forever.

It's enough to think about those kids and that I'll probably never have closer friends. They knew everything about me, saw me at my best, and at my worst. We learned valuable life lessons together, and shared so many 'firsts'.

It's impossible to be in my old neighborhood and not remember the time we passed out in the pool parking lot and went to swim practice afterwards after sneaking out of one of the girls' houses, driving around with the cute lifeguard in his Honda CRX, getting a ride to school with Dinky (one of the nerdy boys) when my parents grounded me from the car my junior year and forced me to ride the bus (the horror!), hoofing every square inch of the neighborhood on Halloween and getting a pillowcase full of candy, playing flashlight tag in the gloaming hour of warm, summer evenings full of fireflies, winning first place in the final freestyle race of summer swim league and eating so much lik-m-aid it made us sick, launching water balloons from the deck of a boy who'd survived leukemia onto the unsuspecting pool patrons nearby - really, the list is endless. I could go on forever.

I was really struck though by the house of a family I'd known because one of their sons was best friends with the little brother of my best friend. Their house is visible from my parents' backyard. The entire family died of carbon dioxide poisoning. I was living in Texas when it happened, and hadn't ever really gotten the chance to look at that house and really think about it. I saw a car sitting in the driveway. Do the current owners know what happened? Does it, or did it, disturb them? How depressing. He was a good boy, a smart boy. And he and my friend's little brother used to chant 'duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, cha-cha-cha-cha-chicken' at us all the time. I don't know why. They were odd kids. It's surreal, having such a strong memory of the boys at that age, chanting that irritating ditty, yet one of them is dead.

Kind of like my childhood memories. They're so vivid, some of them anyway, yet they're as good as dead. I can't have them back. I'll never be that naive, innocent child again. I miss those days, but am now starting to appreciate the person I've become. I guess I'm beginning to just now understand that it's time to be an adult, and moreover, like being an adult. Perhaps this is why I was able to really take in all of those memories, to separate myself from them.

Or maybe the dog woke me up at 7 for a walk and in my near-sleepwalking state everything seemed surreal. Whatever.

free the WM3! - maybe soon!

Look at this story - I found it on the front page of CNN. I found it by accident, drawn in by the 'cub scout killers'. That's the first time I've heard of the West Memphis 3 being called the 'cub scout killers', but whatever gets them onto the front page of CNN is fine with me.

The news has been out for a while now, but is only garnering national attention recently. Some DNA evidence has been released, and it doesn't match any of the 3 in jail. It does however closely match the father of one of the three murdered boys, Terry Hobbs. I am in no way, shape, or form indicting him in these horrific crimes, as this is what was done to the 3 so long ago. Interesting, though, how things have turned out.

I'm just eagerly anticipating what will come of a writ filed on behalf of Damian Echols, who currently sits on death row. I'm hoping, of course, for exoneration, but will settle for a new trial. After fighting for this cause for so many years, it's so exciting to see it sprouting up all over the place. It's amazing to hear that so many people have visited the website in the last few days that the servers crashed.

I feel they'll be set free, but I hope the state of Arkansas will compensate them somehow for the 10+ years they spent in prison as innocent men. Of course all they want is their freedom. But can you imagine? It unfortunately happens all too often.

I can't wait for the day I can cover my 'free the 3' bumper stickers with stickers saying 'freed!'.

audio science clayton

I learned today (from my fav time-wasting site, Go Fug Yourself) that a celebrity named Shannyn Sossamon named her child Audio Science. Well, I learned of Shannyn Sossamon today too, but she's not nearly as entertaining as her child's name. Audio? Science? Audio Science?

How? And better yet, Why?

I get wanting to give your child a unique name. I share my ubiquitous first name with millions of people. But I'd rather have my name any day over the likes of:

Apple
Rumer
Moxie CrimeFighter
Dweezil
Tu Morrow
Denim
Pilot Inspektor
Reven Niaga (Never Again backwards - straight from BelleMO)

You get the point. Apparently these celebrities (and hicks) were totally cool kids and never got picked on. Giving your kid a name like that is an open invitation to get their asses kicked. And seriously, it all ties back to my earlier post on Coco Crisp (hee hee) - assuming these children grow up to be normal adults (it's a long shot, but play along), how can they go out into the real world and look for a job? Can you imagine investing money with Pilot Inspektor? Or purchasing a home with the help of Apple? Or how about Tu Morrow teaching your kids?

This further reinforces my opinion that people should have to earn the right to have children.

mind-boggling

Hmmm, this makes it easy to understand why many Americans eat the way they do. I really thought about how salads do cost more than Big Macs (and many, many other things) after reading this article - it's just not right.

What's really not right is being able to buy a burger for $1 (McDonald's value menu) - why on earth would anyone think that's a good deal? You get what you pay for. A $1 burger. So disgusting.

halloweenie

We had tons of kids come by for candy last night. The weather was amazing, and it stayed light an hour longer than last year. We spent nearly $30 on candy, and got rid of it all (mostly - I had to save some for myself). One of the highlights of the evening was truly appreciating the fact that we live in a neighborhood where the local bar (a block away from our house) was the hit of the night, where a crowd of parents and kids was present at all times. Yes, our local bar participates in handing out Halloween candy. That's awesome.

Some of the best jokes:

Where do pirates go for dinner?
Arrrrrrby's

Where does the lady with one leg go for breakfast?
IHOP (as told by Katie?)

followed by:
Who eats at IHOP?
Katie! (as told by the girl's much younger sister)

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
A Roman Catholic (our favorite 'coherent' joke)

Who has a dog with pizza on its head?
Me! (our favorite 'non-coherent' joke)

Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say poop?

The poop was the best joke overall, mostly because jokes that end with poop are always funny even if they make no sense. However, watching the girl tell the nun joke to the ex-nun who lives next door was pretty hilarious. All in all a good halloweenie.

need an oil can for those creaky joints

I took my 'little brother' bowling yesterday. Remind me to never bowl again. I can't believe how bad my back hurt last night, not to mention today. And my wrist. Oh dear, I wonder if it'll ever be the same again. It's already all out of wack because I sit at the computer all day. Just put me on the fast track to carpal tunnel already. Can I really only be 30? Last night I felt more like 75.

The best part of the game was my decision to roll the ball through my legs on my very last frame of the day. I got a strike. How's that for luck? It just proves I have no skill at this sport whatsoever. My little brother wanted me to lose on purpose so he could win. He didn't get at all that it actually takes skill to lose at bowling when the bumpers are up. Really, anything goes. I tried to miss pins a couple of times and ended up getting spares. It doesn't work that way. I only beat him by marginal amounts anyway, and surely not because I was trying.

Bowling is messed up like that. I don't think anyone can say they were born good at it. I'd call myself a 'natural' athlete. I love sports, I love competing, and I've always been at least somewhat good at everything I tried. I suppose maybe if I practiced a little more I could be good at it, but see, that's where you lose me. I never liked practicing. Perhaps why I wasn't ever a great athlete. But I'm okay with that. I'll fully admit to my laziness any day.

the greatest soap

This stuff is awesome. I found it at a local store called the Home Eco in South City. Not only does it smell great, but it's totally vegan, and locally made by a St. Louis company called Herbaria.

I first tried their soaps when I bought a citronella & marigold soap for our annual trip to the cabin in AR hoping it would fend off some of the bugs. Fend off it did! I didn't use a drop of bug spray the entire time, and emerged bite-free, while the rest of our guests got eaten alive despite drenching themselves in that nasty commercial bug spray. I cannot stand that stuff - not only because it's pure chemical, but because it always ends up in my mouth no matter how much care I take to keep it away. Sick. It tastes awful.

You can go to the Home Eco, or there are tons of shops that sell the soaps in the area and even around the country. These are such a great treat every time I shower. They smell awesome, lather really well, and leave my skin so soft. Best of all, you're not rubbing chemicals and artificial ingredients into your skin every day, which is what you find in regular soaps/body washes. If that doesn't make you feel good, well, then you're some kind of weirdo.

my favorite baseball player of all time

Here he is. His name is Coco Crisp. That's right, Coco Crisp. Seriously, how cruel were his parents? I know Cocoa Crisp isn't a cereal, but it sure as heck could be. He should market the shit out of that. A good name like Coco Crisp can't go to waste, right?

I do know it's a darn good thing he's a professional athlete making tons of dough. Because can you imagine being Coco Crisp and going in to interview as an accountant? Or, mayhap, a teacher? People would remember you, that's for sure. That's if they can get past the hysterics they'll inevitably have whilst reading the resume.

I have to hand it to the sports talk folks and announcers for keeping it together when they mention this guy. Because all I have to do is hear it and chuckling ensues. I can be in the worst mood in the world, then turn on a Sox game (well I could do this if we had cable) and am guaranteed a laugh.

Thanks, Coco.

knew it!

There's lead in lipstick???? That's so wrong. I knew there had to be a good reason I don't wear lipstick other than general laziness.

The most disturbing part of the whole article:

According to the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, one-third of the tested lipsticks exceeded the FDA's limit for lead in candy - a standard established to protect children from directly ingesting lead.

Seriously? Lead in candy? What brainiac thought that was a good idea? Why would we possibly need lead in candy? I knew my absolute favorite candy - gummy bears (or worms, I'm not picky) was too good to be true. If there's lead in anything, I'm sure it's gummy bears. I don't know why. I'm sure it's God's way of punishing me.

Candy's been one of my last strongholds. I check ingredients on almost everything to make sure there isn't anything artificial, and avoid those things that harbor the foreign particles. But up until this point I've ignored candy, not wanting to look and see all kinds of nasties in my favorite treats.

But come on. I at a Reese's peanut butter cup today and the top was kind of watery. Have you ever noticed that with Reese's? There's always a thin film of wetness on top? What the hell is that? It can be ignored no more.

But oh, my beloved gummies. I just don't know that I can give you up. Especially the Haribo Happy Colas. Mmmmmmm, chewy goodness. Soda flavored candy. For a girl who loves both soda (thank goodness for Hansen's) and sugar, this is pure evil.

Maybe I will save you for special occasions.

it's so true

So, it turns out that if one were to google 'KU sucks and swallows', my blog is the first thing to come up.

That totally made my day.

'twas a murder

Missouri beat Nebraska 41-6 on Saturday night. Ha! Silly Cornhuskers. This makes Missouri 5-0. What a great game.

I saw this today - hilarious:

Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up: Fireman, Truck Driver, Salesman, etc. but, Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer and takes off all his clothes at a bar. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with someone for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by his statement immediately changed the subject and hurriedly set the other children to work on a coloring project.

She then took Little Johnny aside and asked him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Johnny, "He's defensive coordinator at the University of Nebraska. I was just too embarrassed to say that."

theraflu is magic

There's nothing worse than being up all night with a horrible cold/cough/aches/ickyness. Thankfully Theraflu knocked me on my ass last night and I didn't even wake up one teeny time.

I was able to fall asleep despite each raspy breath drawn in through a raw throat threatening rebellion at each intake. I woke up with a clogged throat/chest waiting to unleash hellish, racking coughs. Which I fully expected. I just also expected to be horribly tired from lack of sleep due to above mentioned horribleness.

In this so sad day and age where the new, 'improved' NyQuil reigns no more (thanks to those snaggle-toothed meth addicts), it's nice to know Theraflu is out there waiting to put me out of my misery, if only for a night.